Die I will

I fall to the ground with such athority it sounds like a thousand burning bodies bieng tossed into an unmarked mass grave. Streaming ice cold tears hit the wooden floor nothing shy of a world war two artillery barrage. I want to die today. And Die I will.
I hug them one last time before they go, and they hold me tight. They dont understand why i carry on like i am , age has not claimed the innocence yet .
Walking to the door I, trip over a spiderman toy, not cause it was in my way but the oxy is kicking in. I open the door with my verry last bit of strength. And they go.
Watching the car pull off i make the first cut. I railroad pass the first five layers of skin with the the evident sadness pushed aside, but the last two layers fight me back.
I would claim to have won the battle based on the colorful red prom dress in wich the apolstry has changed into. But that could just be the morphine talking to the oxi i see. Crawling to the bathroom, forcefully burned by unfogiveing carpet am i. Im thinking mostly in blur by now about our trip to the park , and ice cream on their little noses. Here comes the second cut , much quicker then the first. Daddy dont let me go! i here in the background. A gulp of jack and four percs later. Breath just breath long enough to get to the tub. Daddy why are you crying ? Vision gone completely. Maybey I should'nt have done this? Its way to late for that now i'd say.Trembling and shallow a faint We love you daddy dont you love us? I love you dearly boys who told you such lies? I am dillerious by now as i fall in the scalding bathtub. The blood flows supersonic mah one jet plane speed, as i look to the sky and curse their mother for leaving me when she did.Good bye Da da we wuv u...