An odd night in

An odd night in and Boo!, didn't mean to scare you or Sshhhh..did you hear that

The following events are based on a true story and parts of it actually happened.

There has been a tremendous proliferation o f ghost stories on T.V lately, although they do feel decidedly more real than that. These stories or documentaries as the producers call them examine all types of paranormal activity,especially the type that scares people to the point of inducing insomnia. There is usually a psychic involved that are there to point out things that we can't see and basically assure the house owners that although feeling scared out of their trees is normal there really is nothing to be scared about.

So this is where people with a morbid fascination with ghosts and spirits can be viewed on t.v ,usually just before midnight by viewers who have a fascination with the supernatural, usually involving ghosts and spirits but does not preclude the odd cardboard cutout.

The psychics are more appropriately referred to as paranormal experts and they are in many ways gifted, I mean who else can befriend an otherwise scary ghost into a friendly chat. These remarkable skills are respected by viewers and hauntees alike and ensure that these people run the show and in many ways are treated like celebrities.
(The haunties refer to the people who share their residence with ghosts and the like who from time to time play up and scare everybody with their antics. I will examine these shortly if I can bring myself to come out from behind the curtain.)

The show from what I can gather is centred around catching the ghost or at least talking to it in a friendly way.Anyway they are trying to do something with the ghost generally without scaring the viewer or themselves too much.



That these game shows, whoops I mean supernatural documentaries have to be on so late greatly adds to the general scariness factor.
Viewers are so tired ten minutes before midnight their perception of reality is already a little skewed and you could say they are very impressionable.The line between fantasy and reality becomes blurred as does the t.v set and where the ghost is actually hiding. It is all frightfully surprising and judging from the number of viewers people find being this scared very appealing.They become more and more involved with the the show to the point of becoming part of it. Talking to them in this state is impossible and if you ask them if they want a cuppa they will just interrupt with "SShhh..I think they are about to catch the ghost,or at least talk to it..can we turn this up".
Lets face it these people are scared out of their wits and don't know what they are saying.
Watching people trying to catch a ghost or at least talk to it in a friendly manner without distressing themselves too much is always going to come off a little entertaining with the odd bit of terrifying thrown in, I guess it's just peoples fear of the unknown.
That the viewers are half asleep ( the other half is just exhausted) to the point of being incapable of making a cup of coffee without burning themselves is beside the point.
And the point is...the owners really want to get to the bottom of what or who is scaring them. Having all this featured on national t.v only serves to assure the haunties that they are not crazy and it also convinces everyone watching these apparitions are real and they could be next.
Anyway the format of these shows is very convincing and is has to be. Anyone trying to market something as unrealistic as finding a ghost without careful planning will find themselves laughing stock.
In fact I find the producers efforts laudable.That this word is a little too close to laughable is no coincidence,it is..The show is presented in such a way as to firstly scare the occupants of the haunted house a little more than necessary before convincing the viewer that they need to be scared too.Or at least a little concerned that their house isn't as ghost free as they initially once thought and maybe someone should look into those things that go bump in the night.Not that there is anything to see, afterall ghosts are supposed to be invisible.The psychic, by the way always looks like she is having fun.

It usually all begins with an interview with the hauntee as to when it all actually started. "It was shortly after Auntie Samantha died",or some other relative is usually a good lead in and with the incidental background music which incidentally is also a little scary; viewers, even at this early stage start becoming intrigued themselves, almost to the point of becoming scared. The haunties from the onset look a little dishelveled which would scare most people if you saw them up close.

This is followed by an extensive discussion as to what the ghost actually does,and we are not talking about rattling a few pots and pans here.This was acceptable in the odd novel from Dickens time but times have changed and it is now not uncommen for ghosts to make a real nuisance of themselves. Thos includes running up and dow stairs unevenly,jumping out of windows,complete with the arrgghhhhhh...and playing the piano if one is available, usually something of a melancholic nature in a minor key. On this note ghosts are generally a melancholic bunch and invariably have unresolved issues. An acrimonious divorce,a bad knee or binge drinking and becoming unhinged generally;they're all here. (These issues,like the ghosts themselves can't be seen but you know they are there.)
It is about at this point ,where the paranormal expert, who has been listening intently,not only to the haunties side of the story but also to the bumps going on around her has an inkling as to what is going on. This revelation immediately precedes an ad break before we are hit with the main event,viz: the investigation proper.
This main event is an event in itself and one worth...shhhhh..did you hear that. I'm not sure what that was but it sure did sound like a ghost or at least the wind blowing in a ghost like way.All this talk of ghosts is starting to,no has made me a little jittery.
Anyway what was I saying..ah yes the main event. This occurs after the first ad break and involves the hauntie and paranormal expert finding the ghost. This is always, at night time,usually in pitch blackness. ( To allow this they have special cameras that allow one to see in the dark,albeit in a dim like way.Ghosts absolutely love the dark as they have a better chance of scaring someone. New viewers,who initially scoffed mockingly at the beginning of the show are now a liitle more silent and not moving around in their seats nearly so much.
Occasionally at this point they light a few candles, about twenty which just adds to the atmosphere of scariness.
The psychic has spoken at length to the occupants about the nature of the ghost or ghosts present and between the feigned interest on her part and the occupants preoccupation with being scared senseless you just know something interesting is about to happen. ; 0
That the psychics observations on the ghosts movements are unmistakeably accurate just confirms the occupants fears, they were not imagining it. The ghost really does visit the kitchen at 2.00 am for banana sandwitches doing what sounds kike the cha-cha down the stairs.The bananas too are scared and appear to jump out of their skins.
The psychic is so accurate in her observations the haunties are wondering if Gloria* knows the ghost personally. * In the interests of privacy this is not her real name I wouldn't want a ghost looking me up,would you?
Throughout the main event viz catching the ghost, there is much excitement as to what the ghost is up too although very evidence to support this.
That is unless Glorias wide eyed exclamations are to be believed. Examples include "He certainly is playing hard to get?..interesting" and "I wonder what on earth he is doing at this time of night' followed by her pondering what only she knows the answer to. Admittedly the psychic has got a pretty intense look and the viewers are totally convinced of her bona-fide ghost catching abilities; she could be saying "Sshhhh..did you hear that?' for all they care.
Anyway the ghost observations go on for some time and waiting for an invisible ghost to appear is a great way of building suspence. It also reinforces the fact that all this is actually happening and is not a made up screen play.
Scientific equipment from the 23rd century is used to check vital statistics such as air temperature and how it usually goes down when the ghost arrives.
I say usually because on occasion when the ghost decides to do some cooking the temperature actually goes up. I guess this is not surprising but why the ghost cant clean up after itself is anyones guess.
A wind detector is also used to determine whether it is actually a bad draught making that awful howling sound or a floating ghost who happens to be in a rush.
On one episode of "Supernatural investigations into paranormal activity" it transpired the ghost didn't take too kindly to all of the observation. After following the ghost upstairs and then downstairs it appeared Gloria and the haunties had frightened the ghost and it was trying to hide throughout the house. This was confirmed when Gloria announced rather stonily, " Although it happens rarely,I think we may have scared the ghost. Please avoid any sudden movement,we don't want to make matters worse than they already are.
What is going on here?! After the initial confusion the haunties breathe a sigh of relief,they didn't need to be scared. It was the ghost that was scared.
( The italics are mine and are there to remind me not to be scared, afterall it is only a t.v show.)
Although the house,my house did seem very quiet in an errie sort of way and I began whistling in a muted tone the theme to Ghostbusters which was barely audible to the point of drifting off key every couple of bars.
Well, I did have a busy day ahead and needed a good nights sleep. After reviewing this show on t.v I had had a little too much excitement for one evening and I needed to settle down a bit.
Later that evening,on retiring my house was no longer quiet and I was kept awake by all manner of extraneous thuds , muffled murmurs and other sounds that go bump in the night. At one stage I even thought I heard the refrigerator door..As I drifted off I had more questions than answers which due to their mysterious nature caused me to drift back into semi consciouness.
Had the ghost left the confined of the T.v screen in search of excitement in the real world? Or was I just losing my mind?
I wasn't quite sure, possibly both. But I was sure of one thing. I was scared.
Psst...did you hear that?