Our Story

God, you've stuffed up my life

Why did you do that? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?
Why did you have to give me everything I've ever wanted,
and then bring it all crashing down on me with one fateful conversation?
Why did you decide to let him love me now instead of when I loved him before?
Why did you have to get my hopes up so damn high, to destroy them all?
Why did you let me break my promise? The only promise I ever made myself?
The only promise: DO NOT fall in love ever again?????
Why did you let me decide that I'd found everything, that nothing would ever go wrong again?
Why did you decide to let him confess two nights ago, on msn?
Why did you let me write that email, instead of telling me to shut up so he wouldn't say anything?
Why did you let me destroy all I had with a few words -- giving the reciever the wrong meaning?

Why did you let me stuff up?

Jesse, oh Jesse, I'm so so sorry I don't know what to do I don't want him I want you I just didn't want anyone hurt but of course everything I write comes across as the wrong meaning to the wrong person oh god what have I done?
Please please tell me I haven't lost you Jesse please I love you forever I do really you have to understand that I can't not love you god what has this come to? Is there even an us or was it all just a stupid trick from god?
Oh god I wish people could understand me, I wish they could experience my feelings and memories, see through my eyes, if only to know how this affects me. God I wish Jesse could know how devastated I am at the moment, I wish he could be here to reassure me that everything is fine, I wish this never happened.
God why did you let me stuff up my only chance of being truly happy?

God, you've stuffed up my life.



Am I Forgiven?

God, I should be sent to jail.
For thinking what I did.
When he wrote those words...
I can't just forget it.

God, I wish I could die right now.
For saying what I did.
When I thought of telling him...
What is wrong with me?

Jesus, I'm such a sinner.
For doing what I did.
When I wrote those words...
God, I feel like shit.

Jesus, I'm going insane right now.
For thinking about him.
When I wrote those hurtful letters...
I need to go someplace, away, fom here.

Jesse, am I forgiven?
For everything I said?
For making you imagine crazy things?
For making you angry and mad?

Jesse, I hope I'm forgiven.
'Cause I can't live without you no more.
I need you, I don't want to lose you.
Because you I just can't not adore.


Taking Over

They started with a flutter
No more than a flurry of my nerves
I tried to speak but I couldn't utter
Those meaningful three words

Their wings started to beat
The beats were irregular
They just wouldn't retreat
And my heartbeats sounded like thunder

The butterflies were taking over
My body was now not my own
The silly little things how they whispered
'Girl, you know you want to'

But I'm back to myself right now
When i see you it will probably happen again
But who really cares, they're right after all
What will be will be, i'll just let it happen


Simple Things

They look at us and stare
They've noticed we're holding hands
But who really cares
They don't understand

Only a few days ago
The first time I let it happen
It brang me closer to you
Probably closer than you can imagine

I've explained this a few times before
I don't give trust that easily
It's like some unwritten law
I don't let people get that close to me

But you, you're so easy to trust
So easy for me to believe
And I can only hope
That you will never leave

But I know that you won't
You promised me
And it's the simple things that you do
That make me so happy
This is a promise
That I know you will keep


It's Like

It's like...
Crying in the rain, crying in the sunlight
Crying in a storm, crying when someone dies
Crying when it's dark, crying when it's light
Crying your heart out, crying all the time

It's like...
Hugging your best friend, not wanting to leave
Hugging your only, not wanting to show the fear
Hugging your parents, drying up your tears
Hugging yourself, wishing you could disappear

It's like...
Kissing in the rain, kissing in the sunlight
Kissing in a storm, kissing while you cry
Kissing when it's dark, kissing when it's light
Kissing with your heart, kissing for the first time

It's like...
Loving with your all, not wanting to fall
Loving with your heart, not wanting to break
Loving the same one, who will always care
Loving all the world, just for being there

It's like...
Staring in the eye of a hurricane
Watching lightening strike, hoping it stays away
Comforting a child, when they have a nightmare
Dreaming 'bout a land, where no one gets scared

It's like...
Smiling in the day, crying late at night
Laughing with your friends, faking the whole time
Hoping he'll come back, when you know he won't
Finding someone new, finally letting go

It's like...
When we held hands, for the first time
When you hugged me, and I almost cried
When I hurt you, but you pretended not to care
When we first kissed, when we just stare

It's like...
Knowing it'll last, but still having doubts
Hoping that he'll never fall for someone else
Feeling you're a theif, for stealin' his heart
Thinking you're in heaven, when you're really in hell

It's like...
Finally taking down, the defenses you built
Letting someone in, when you don't think you should
Showing all your love, arguing who's cute ;P
When people ask what's love, my answer is you :P

It's like...
Finally realizing, he was meant to be
Finally letting yourself make new memories
Forgiving the people of your past but not forgetting
Allowing yourself to dream with no regretting

It's like...
Falling into the deep ocean blue of your eyes
Showing PDA and not caring what others think
Letting you know all my thoughts, feelings and dreams
Making sure you know I will never leave

It's like...
Thinking 'bout that time, we were so damn shy
We couldn't even look eachother in the eye
We only communicated through this awesome site
But now we don't hide, 'cause it's not a lie

It's like...
Meeting your true love, knowing that it's right
Giving yourself up, not having to try
Letting everything, flow it's own way
Staring at him, not needing to say
I LOVE YOU!


Impossible

It’s not very obvious
To other people
The feelings they share together
Because they can’t see
The way they adore each other
They’re blind to the impossibility
Of their togetherness
So it’s their little secret
All of those little confessions they made
Leading up to one huge feeling
That joined them together
Like they’ll never come apart
Their love for each other is impossible
But as impossible as it seems
It’s there
They’re made of impossibilities
But that’s why their love is so strong
It’s stronger than strong
It’s impossible
But it’s there


Angel

He says, I don’t know how this works
You’re my little angel
My beautiful little angel
And I’ll love you forever
Forget forever, she says
Eternity lasts longer
He smiles at her
Yes, eternity through forever


You

My sweetness, she says
My beautiful sweetness,
What would I do without you?
I wouldn’t be all there
For you are the one
That has shaped my total being
My life
You are the one
Who has let me become
My own person
Who I am
Not like those others
That wanted to own me
Like a little puppy dog
Following orders
You are the one
Who has let me experience
More than is possible
Freedom
When it comes to feelings
You have made me
Somebody
Who is confident of herself
And of her future
And you have helped me
Let go of my dreadful past
My past that I could never forget
Forgiven but not forgotten
You helped me forgive
Letting me believe
That you are him
He has found a place
Inside of you
To make up for leaving me
And that feeling
Is so dreadfully beautiful
I know it could shatter
Any second
It feels so fragile
But I know
That it won’t
Because this is you we’re talking about
You
The one
Who has done everything for me
The one
Who has let me believe
In myself
In love
In the future
In you
In us
In the impossible
You
My beautiful sweetness
You
The one


Invisible

They don’t even know
They’re just in the background
Waiting for a piece of gossip
That they can share with their friends
But they don’t have friends
Just people that they share useless information with
She knows
What they think of her and him together
What her best friend wants to happen
She knows
That they want to tear them apart
Just to see them collapse
And what would happen after that
But they’re all invisible
To the couple
Just people in the background
People you see out of the corner of your eye
He knows
That she knows this
That she feels this way
He knows
That it is nothing
They are nothing
Compared to what the feeling they share is
They know
That they will never fall apart
No matter what happens
Through the worst times
They know
That they are destined
To be together
For longer than forever
For eternity


His

She has given up everything
Lost control of her feelings
Everything is out of proportion
Everything is to the extremes
Her hysterical laughing
Just for the sake of laughing
Her huge smile
When she thinks of him
Her heart, her tiny heart
Seems to burst
Whenever they share a moment
Together
And she knows
He’s waiting
For the time
That he’ll get
To be alone
With her
And she can’t wait
For that moment
She is stunned
By his beautiful manner
By his kind words
By the sweetness that surrounds him
He is like her
He can never fully let go
Of those that he has shared feelings with
But that brings them closer
For they have experienced
What it’s like
To be tricked and fooled
And lied to
And abandoned
And they are both amazed
By the knowing
That the other will never do that
Ever
She has been forgiven
For almost falling
In love
Again
With somebody
That is not him
She believes
That she must be
The luckiest girl
Who has ever lived
She knows
That he would do anything for her
To keep her happy
But she also knows
That he would care a great deal
If she did even the tiniest little thing
To make them feel apart
Even if he says
He only cares that she’s happy
She knows
But she learnt her lesson
The feeling that she was losing him
Was enough
To snap her out of it
Because he is the only one
Who has ever cared enough
To love her back
To want her
To need her
He is a part of her
He is everything to her
He is indescribable
And she has lost control
Of her control
She is his


Loved

She is stuck with a feeling of disbelief
That she is loved
As much as she loves him
It will take a while to get used to the feeling
It’s new
And it is beautiful
She knows he loves her
So much
She is loved
She is his little angel
He is her beautiful sweetness
And they have so many imperfections
That just make them more together
That bring them even closer
Than seems possible
Because everything about them is impossible
And they know it
But that just makes the feeling stronger
He tells her
That whenever she stares at him like that
He feels the strange urge
To kiss her
He wants to hold her
To take her hand
And hold her forever
And never let go
She tells him
That whenever she goes to sleep at night
And has a bad dream
She thinks of him
And it goes away
And when she falls asleep again
She dreams beautiful dreams
With them together
Holding hands
And just staring into each others eyes
Not caring abut the world around them
Not caring about the weird looks they’re getting
Just loving
And being loved
She thinks silently
Why doesn’t he just do it
It will be perfect
Beautiful
Her first kiss
From her beautiful sweetness
That she knows she will stay with
For eternity
He thinks silently
I wish
I wish so bad
That we could just happen
That I didn’t have to do anything
I wouldn’t have to try
It would just happen
Why doesn’t she start it
Because making the first move
Seems impossible
But I know
That it will work
Whoever goes first
Because we are meant to be
She is me
I am her
She is my beautiful little angel
And that is everything
They both secretly
Daydream about what could happen
About the endless possibilities
That they could be even closer
As impossible as that seems
They can always get closer
But right now
They just enjoy their moments together
Waiting for the day
That one of them will give in
And start their new world together
His little angel
And her beautiful sweetness
They are each other
And their togetherness
Make up their whole lives
And they could never
Ever
Give that up
Just loving
And being loved