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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1560931-Only-Time-Will-Tell
Rated: E · Other · Relationship · #1560931
Does it come down to timing or fate?
We met almost 20 years ago.



During all those years we have gone in and out of each other's lives.

You always seemed to be there for me.

You always seemed to be there to make me laugh;

to be that shoulder to cry on when the latest guy broke my heart;

to always be a friend.



Just as we were becoming friends I moved away.

Fifteen hundred miles apart we exchanged cards and letters.

Our friendship became stronger.

Why is it that we don't know what we have when it's right in front of us?



You came to visit me and I still didn't realize what I had.

One broken heart after another and you were always there to make

me laugh, to be that shoulder to cry on, to be my friend.



More cards and letters and our friendship became even stronger.

I began to realize just what I had in front of me.

You came back to visit again and this time something was different.

I was different - I let my guard down - broken heart after broken heart

I let someone get close to my heart again

and I finally told you how I felt



Everything that night changed - a line was finally crossed.

I said those three little words for the first time.

You couldn't return them in the same way I meant them.

But it was your honesty that let me know I was right about you.

You could have told me what I wanted to hear but you didn't.

I fell for you even harder.



I gave away my heart that night -

That night it found a place to call home.

Time and distance took its toll on us and we didn't see it through.

I have never said those words again to anyone. 

They were always too hard to say.

It never felt right or easy. I couldn't trust anyone enough with my heart.



I met other people and tried to forget you.

We saw each other other again but I couldn't see you there

because of yet another broken heart.

You tried to make me laugh but it didn't work.

You tried to recreate our time together but it didn't work.

By the time I realized what I had in front of me again -

it was time for you to leave.

What a waste of time but maybe next time I can make up for lost time.



The next time I saw you was at my wedding.

My wedding - not our wedding. 

Time and distance had taken its toll on us. 

My last broken heart made me crazy

- I put up walls - I could give my body freely but no one would get close to my heart again!



Our friendship was the one thing that remained intact.

I invited you to my wedding and you accepted.

You drove 1500 miles, your car broke down and you almost didn't make it.

But you did and even though you didn't think it was the right choice for me

we were friends and you were there to support me.

You hoped I'd be happy.



I wasn't sure about my choice and I knew I wasn't sure 

when you were the first one I saw as I stepped out on the arm of my father.

He should have been walking me up the aisle to you.

But look at all the people here - family and friends -

some traveled as far as you to be here for me -

I couldn't disappoint them. I couldn't hurt the man that loved me.



"If anyone here can show just cause why these two should not be joined,

speak up now or forever hold your peace."

In my heart I was hoping to hear your voice.

I was hoping you knew what I knew -

that wasn't in love - just afraid of being hurt again.

Please say something! Please stop me!



A year later I moved back home - I wasn't happy.

Distance now is not what kept us apart.

Again with cards and letters our friendship was still there strong as ever.

I had realized what I had in front of me - just too late.

You were there at my daughter's baptism, to help us move into our home -

always there for the important things - always there when I needed you.

"If he ever decides one day that he doesn't want you, I'll be right there."



One day I forgot to put away a letter and my husband found it.

I wasn't allowed to see you, talk to you - have anything to do with you.

I had to cut you out of my life - but not because I wanted to.

But I couldn't cut you out of my heart.



Eleven years six months and 1500 miles apart again, I was coming home for a visit.

Were you still living there? Did you get married?

Were you happy? Would you remember me?



Time and distance had not taken a toll on our friendship.

"Did you ever get married?"

"Are you still married?"

Why won't you answer my question? Why does it matter to you

if I'm still married?



Yes, you were married - but you weren't happy.

Timing is a funny thing - both married both unhappy.

We offered each other a shoulder to lean on -

we made each other laugh and our friendship still intact

and stronger than ever.

On the phone until two or three in the morning.

We left an impression on each other that time or distance couldn't erase.



Should we meet? Should we have dinner? Do we risk the temptation?

Why did I feel like a girl going out on her first date?

I opened the door and there you stood after all these years.

Yes you had changed - you were older, a little heavier and that might have mattered

if I'd ever looked at you with my eyes - instead of with my heart.



With that first kiss my heart began to beat faster - it knew it was home again.

I was so nervous - like a girl on her first date. 

We had dinner, we laughed and we found after all these years

we were still attracted to each other. 

I was once again where I'd always wanted to be.  I was home.

Tonight I was happier than I'd been in 15 years. 



Neither time nor distance had changed how we still felt about each other.

More cards and letters and our love was stronger than it had been before.

I was finally able to say those words I hadn't said to anyone else since you,

- I love you - it was so easy. 

And this time you returned them - the same way I meant them.



What happens now?  Do we grab a stolen moment here and there and be happy with that?

Is this that rare second chance that people aren't always lucky enough to get?

We talk several times a day - every day that we can -

you park the car in a hidden spot and we talk until two or three in the morning -

this time we're both working to bridge the distance

but will it be enough this time? Do we want the same things?



We know what we have right in front of us now - so was it timing or was it fate?

In my heart - I always knew who held the key -

where my heart has always belonged.



I was on a plane anxiously headed home.

I got stranded by snow in Chicago and our plans were changed.

Was it timing or fate that stepped in?

Will it be timing or fate this weekend that steps in again.......who knows.



But I will be just as anxious and excited to see those eyes,

that smile, hear that laugh, feel those arms around me again

and feel my heart beat faster with that first kiss.



Some would say it's wrong and some would say it's a second chance.

There could be a long, hard road ahead of us filled with uncertainty.

But of one thing I'm certain -

I have been in love with you and only you for almost twenty years.

There's never been anyone else for me but you.



I hope you haven't been hurt so much that you won't trust me with your heart,

the way I've always trusted you with mine.

Maybe this time we both finally see what's been right in front of us all along.



So is it timing or is it fate that brought us back into each other's lives? 



I don't know-----but only time will tell..........



















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