A Woman's Ruin

A Woman’s Ruin

Looking into the mirror, I brush a stray hair into place. I notice that my alabaster skin seems to glow from the light of the oil lamp. I know that Hank will love my dress, but I have to put on a sweater. I feel as if I’m freezing to death! The house is terribly cold despite the fire in the fireplace. I considered placing another log onto the flames, hoping that it would bring me some warmth but I’ll just sit and wait. Hank’s due to return from Northland soon; I hate when he’s gone for so long. I know he had business there but I hate it nonetheless. I’ll sit and wait, wrapping myself in my grandmother’s quilt. Right now, I don’t care about the dress and looking pretty for him, I just need to warm myself.

As I sit in the silence, my mind wanders. Yes, part of me is terribly excited for Hank to return but the other part of me is anxious. I’m terrified that somehow he’ll find out about his brother and me. We couldn’t help it…Fred and I, I mean. We have so much in common and it doesn’t hurt that he’s a nice-looking man. Besides, Hank’s always gone, practically ignores me. So why not Fred? He’s more than willing to give me a little attention, if you know what I mean. But still, I do love Hank. He’s a good man. Just needs to remember that he loves me, I guess. Maybe I should break it off with Fred. I mean, if Hank ever found out…God knows what that man would do. Goodness, the fire might need another log after all.

I hear the sound of footsteps on gravel outside the door. My heart begins to pound in my chest; it’s Hank. I’m so glad to see him but afraid just the same. I desperately want to tell him about my decision. I was breaking it off with his brother. How could I ever do something so thoughtless; it would kill Hank. I throw open the wooden door and wrap my arms around him. Hank’s so big and tall, always made me feel so safe. I take his coat and hang it over a chair.
“I’m so glad you’re home; I missed you,” I said positively beaming.
“Me too, sweetheart, me too.” He didn’t seem too happy to see me. Now I was becoming worried.
“Did you miss me?” I wanted to hear those words…I missed you.
“Of course, sweetheart.” It was forced; something’s wrong.
“So what were you doing in Northland, anyways? You said you had business, right?”
“No, you said I had business. So I let you think that.” He picked up an apple and began calmly chomping on it.
“Then what were you doing up there?” Another big bite. He wiped the juice from his chin.
“Buying your burial plot.”
“My what?”
“You heard me.” Another big bite.
“Why? I’m not sick or anything.” He knows, he has to know. He’s probably just trying to scare me. And it’s working.
“Yep, nice one too. Nothing too good for my girl.”
“But why a burial plot?”
“Oh, that’d be because you’re a whore.” Another big bite. He wipes the juice onto his shirtsleeve. I was unable to understand what motivated him to act this way. Oh, who was I kidding.
“Hank, my goodness, what do you mean? I am no such thing. I am a lady!” I can feel my face flush.
“Had a nice long talk with my brother. That man never could keep a secret.”
“Well, I have no idea what he told you but he’s a liar!” I tried to be indignant but I know he knew. I’m not that good of an actor.
“Well, don’t worry. You won’t be alone up there. In Northland, I mean.”
“What do you mean, Hank? You’re not acting like yourself.”
“Yep, you’ll be right beside ol’ Fred. Got him one right beside you.”
“Wait…you killed your brother?” I was no longer cold. I was sweating, actually.
“The way I see it, you two belong together. So now, you can be together forever.” He was so calm, he couldn’t possibly mean what I think he means.
“But Hank…you killed your brother?!”
“What do you think took me so long?”
“Honestly, as I sat here, waiting for you to come home, I decided to end it with Fred. I want you and only you. You gotta believe me.” One final bite.
“I think the time for talk is over don’t you, Helen?”

He was walking toward me, the strangest look in his eye. Hank was so calm. He would stop, he would. He had to. I could feel the house grow cold again. I began to shiver.
“Please honey, let’s talk about this.” I put my hands up to stop his progress but his hands were on me. My throat. His hands are locked firmly to my throat, squeezing the life out of me.
“Please…please,” I sputtered, but no words came out. All I could hear were my gasps for breath and the crackling of the fire. Is this it? What…no redemption? No forgiveness? But he loves me. Everything is fading to black. All is see a darkened figure of Hank, smiling. My lungs burn for air…if…maybe…