Infinity

Forever means infinity.
Infinity can’t be defined. It is nothing.
Forever is nothing, means nothing.
I don’t know how long this is going to last.

When I touch you I get scared of it all drifting away.
Our love is an hour glass running out, on a beach being washed away by the sands of time and lifted on the wings of angels, or worse. They’re flying into heaven, or worse.
Its cliché, and its terrifying. Because you see, depending on how you look at it, life is either the only thing there is, or it is so small, it is inconsequential. Either way, forever, is nothing.

The earth is finite. It is not flat but if you circle it you will repeat yourself, you will stumble on your mumbled words saying the same thing over and over, “we will live forever, I can run forever.” but no matter how many times you chase your tail and hope for pangea so you can hide in the ocean, the monsters under your bed will always find you. And oil doesn’t last forever, the light in your lantern will lose its life and you’ll be in darkness.

And the monsters will start to creep up the sides, crawl up your bedpost…

And your stuttered prayer will speak to the infinite air and it will do no good because for as long as you have known love, you have known that forever…means nothing. Nothing means anything if everything-means nothing.

Thinking about eternity sends chills up your spine, I know it. But when you say forever remember that when you look at me there might never be another moment. There might never be another chance and don’t count on the stars because the world turns and every minute there is something slightly different in the night sky. It is no more reliable than the rest of the indefinable universe. Remember that.

When you dream about me, think about the hour glass. It could shatter, truth could surprise us all but until then the sand will continue to drip, drip, fall through until time ends. And who knows when that will be.

So before that day comes, please just let me touch you one last time, and feel that fear.

Please let chance and circumstance terrify me into silence, let my breath catch in my chest one more time, let me feel the electrocution of your consciousness on my skin and the warmth of your thoughts on my eyes one last time. Just once, let me feel it, before we disappear into the deep, finite, nothing, and breathe our last, finite, breath. 

Forever, means infinity.