Why Santa Should be Behind Bars

10. It is illegal in most countries to use Reindeer as draught animals, and as for torturing them with cheap imitation decorations and flashy red noses - now Santa is just taking the piss.

9. Not to mention how big of a traffic violation that is. Don't you at least need a flying permit for that sorta thing?

8. Besides, isn't there a law somewhere prohibiting all civil endangerment on mental health? I mean, for God's sake - don't tell me a fat man flying over your house in a red sledge, dragged along by panting reindeers won't disrupt the peace of mind of the townsfolk.

7. Breaking and Entering. Need I say more?

6. Where does Santa get his money? I'm sure the taxation dept will have a field day with that.

5. Ogling little children while they sleep. Now I don't care which country you're in - but where I come from that sort of behavior gets you put behind bars.

4. Giving toys to children that haven't passed EU standards. Do his Elves have a Union? I don't think so.

3. And mate, it has got to be a criminal offense somewhere for wearing a suit like that. The fashion police must be called in.

2. If you’re going to blame angry music and violent video games for a kid blowing up his school, why not blame Santa while you're at it and sue Cola-Cola instead?

1. When on earth has good intention turned out well for everyone?

And if all that doesn't convince you, ponder this one: Did you know that Santa could potentially sue you if he falls down your chimney and breaks his back?