Blood Lust

In the dark caverns of my mind, I am in retreat.  Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, the screams of the tortured haunt me until the end of time.  Is anyone here?  Does anyone care?  I am utterly alone in my hell fighting with feelings of abandonment, and remorse for my actions.  If I had only known that I would regret every minute I would have turned the other way.  The look in his eyes as the night engulfed his thoughts.  The look of reverence deep in his soul as a vision of death stood before him, darkness slithering around his essence.  Blood curdling shrieks of pain as he gives in to the inevitable.  A sight burned into my psyche.  Have I lost my mind?  Have I gone insane?  Terror enters my every waking moment recalling that fateful night when evil reigned supreme.  When death roamed on open foot.  When I took a life, the living essence of a human being.  Disconnected from reality and far from the laws of humanity I stepped into the role of a God. A God I am not, yet I halted life in one individual, released his soul to the depths of the afterlife.  God has him in his bosom; they are safe from me for now.  A protector of light and the bringer of vengeance the almighty God shall smite me for my acts.  Looking into the eyes of the dead I see myself, a soulless being with a black heart, a living dead man.  What have I become?  Is this what all that I am, a heartless beast with a blood lust?  I am nothing but a maniac with a one-way ticket to the eternal flames of damnation, where I will wait for my demise at the hands of my dark lord.







©~Ted E. Brown II

October 19, 2006