Dis.Integration

It’s just some empty Fountain
For you to taste from. Bitter sex on your tongue
Depthless.
Hollow as a picture less locket (hanging from a rusted chain.)

Fill your lungs with smoke
Heavy air. Thick with your favorite flavor of death.
You smell like alcohol. Your skin is soft. Burned from ethanol.
(Kept secrets. Deny your tendencies.) We all look the other way for you.

It’s the sounds that stay in my head. Of you
Smells and remembered touches. (Secret unspoken tastes. Away from other people’s eyes, hidden by walls.)
Your mountainous knuckles (once felt by my fingertips.)
Now only left over fragments

Untouched impulses of nerves. In the palm of my hand.
You. It was you in the valleys of my lifelines.
Your skin filled, covered my hands.
((Do I wash you off with soap? (Find? Create? New hands.))

What equation do I use to subtract your sticky breath from my memory? The fields of green eyes that haunt me (Mass oceans of stormy color in your irises.)

You adjust.
The music. Your window. Your mirrors.
Light a cigarette and say “We aren’t together.”
The spider webs of smoke are carried by the wind of the morning air.
The speed of your car. Dissipating your toxic self-pollution.
(Adding in pollen. Allergies.)

It’s not me. It’s you? Right.


I adjust. My clothes. From sleeping all night.
My lost earrings. Fidget with my seatbelt
And find it hard to make myself comfortable

In the sunless atmosphere of your silence.

Your lips.
(Far from mine. Motionless. Silent.
You’re done.)

They rest on your cigarette
You inhale and the blaze burns a sunset. (From a plant rolled with your camel print.)
To what this was…
(We reached the end too soon.)
The ash falls. Spelling out secret messages in your lap.

This was never love.

(We planted no seeds.)