2nd draft/revision, Alter/Demon

Repetitive thumping, muffled noises and ringing ears, a dull yet blinding light filtered through eyelids. These were Jupiter's first experiences as he came into existence, then came thought, and the suffering that followed. His warm, free world drained away from him, and the harsh, cold planet that replaced came rapidly up to meet him.
         He fell to his knees, landing hard on the stark white tiles, watching a strange yellow fluid run down the drain, with it, a streak of red, running from his skinned knees.
         The last of the fluid ran down the drain, and the last of his strength left him, He passed out, face-down on the floor.
When he came-to, Jupiter found himself on a hard metal table, staring up at an large bright lamp. He groaned and brought his left hand up to shield his eyes.
"Ah, you still alive, good. we'd thought you dead for awhile there," a feminine voice came from the other side of the room, "How're ya feeling?"
"Mind turning off the light?" Jupiter's voice, faint and raspy, sounded foreign.
"Oh, sure," the massive lamp dimmed, before being replaced completely by three smaller, less intense lights.
Jupiter sat up slowly, so as to avoid aggravating his nausea.
When the world had finally stopped spinning about his head, Jupiter searched the room for the woman, unable to find her with his eyes unaccustomed to the dim light, he called out, "I'm fine if you still wondering."
"So there are no lingering side-effects?"
"Apart from a headache and head-spins? No..."
"Oh that's normal, that could even be considered good."
"How?"
"Never-mind, can you stand? I need to take some measurements."
"Fine," as Jupiter slid down from the table he realised, he was naked, "um... you wouldn't happen to have a set of clothes nearby I could borrow, would you?"
"Of coarse not," Jupiter's eyes had adjusted to the light a moment before, so he was able to watch the doctor approach him, as she measured him across the shoulders she whispered in his ear, "and besides, where's the fun in measuring you if you've got clothes on?"
Jupiter didn't know how to respond.

          a crash and a yelp came from the other side of the room, "why aren't there any lights on in here?"
"hang on." the doctor left through a door to the right, and after a moment dozens of lights, similar to the three already on, began to light up.
the man on the other side of the room lay splayed out on the floor, he had evidently tripped over a metal cart in the low light, he got back on his feet, straightened his glasses, and brushed his coat free of imaginary dust.
"Aoi, why hasn't he got any clothes on?"
The doctor, came back from the other room, measuring tape in hand,
"I was just measuring him up for a set now."
"Well now that you know what his sizes are go get him some pants."
The doctor disappeared back into the side room.
The man crossed the room, offering his right hand to Jupiter.
"My name is Wyl, I'll be in charge of your keeping."
Jupiter shook his hand,
"Jupiter, it's nice to meet you."
"That's an interesting name, is there a reason behind it?"
"Not really, it just felt like the natural response."
Wyl hummed a noise of interest and scribbled something down into a pad he pulled from his breast pocket.
"I couldn't find a shirt that would fit, but these pants should do."
The doctor came back with a pair of pink pants held out in front of her.
"Pink?"
"There's nothing wrong with pink pants" Jupiter said as he took them from Her.
"You can put them on in the side room." she motioned towards the door she had come from.
The side room was cluttered with all types of miscellaneous trinkets, from potted plants to a greasy lump of metal that may have once been a combustion engine. Jupiter managed to find a relatively mess free patch of floor and set to work.
When Jupiter walked back into the room he found the doctor leaning over a rather uncomfortable looking Wyl.
"I'm not interrupting something am I?"
"I-I would certainly hope not," Wyl quickly disentangled himself and walked towards Jupiter, "we really must leave now if we're to make it on time."
"Make it where?"
"I'll explain later, we must leave now," Wyl got behind Jupiter and pushed him quite insistently towards the door, adding under his breath, "please."
"hang-on," the doctor walked slowly up to them, up to Jupiter and whispered into his ear, "you make sure to come by here later, we'll finish what we started."
"Ok, ok, let's go." With another push, Wyl had him out the door.
"The name's Aoi by the way," she leaning in the doorway behind them.
"It was nice meeting you." Jupiter called over his shoulder as Wyl continued to push him down the hall.

          Wyl continued to push Jupiter down the hall for several more metres, stopping when they turned the first corner.
Wyl lent his back against the wall, shoulders slumped, rubbing his eyes with his fore-finger and thumb.
"Oh," he sighed,"she really scares me sometimes, a brilliant doctor but, she's just a little too..."
"Flirty?"
"That doesn't even begin to describe--"
"I can still hear you!"
In a flash Wyl was pushing Jupiter down the hall again.

          To Jupiter, the hallway in which he and Wyl were walking down was exactly the same as the one they had just left, which in turn seemed identical to the one before it.






** It's still not finished, but taking into account the comments I've received (which is much more than the nothing I've received placing my work elsewhere) I hope I've fixed up what I had, and I've added a little more. Thanks for the help people **