What Then?

One candle
Held up against the darkness
Shall hold away the dark
…for now
One light bulb
Turned on late at night
Can hold away the monsters
…for now


But what about the memories
Not even that can kill?
What about the anguish
I’m forced to feel still?
What happens when the lights go out,
When the demons come too close?


The wondering, the wanting,
The screaming during the taunting,
The happiness that never was
And never will be again?
What then?


One simple word
I’ve memorized
Creeps into my brain
…again
One wonderful smile
I visualize
Shimmers there
…again


But what about my deepest fears
That remain there anyway?
What about my secret dream
That never goes away?
What happens to the feelings
When they never get expressed?

The dreaming, the waking,
The pleasure despite the quaking,
The going insane but loving the pain
And being forced to wait again?
What then?



One broken heart
Never to be replaced
Beats on
… for how long?
One desperate charade
Doomed to fail
Continues on
…for how long?

But what about the here and now
Where it’s horrible to try?
What about the forbidden star
That I can’t reach, up in the sky?
What’s the point of watching afar
When there’s no chance at all?

The lost hope, the goodbye-ing,
The smiling while you’re dying
The dashed dream that made you feel so good
And will never come back again?
What then?




What will happen then?