i havent written in a while

i havent written in a while. ive been trying to come up with excuses s to why i havent. i read an oscar wilde qute a while ago. it said something like i used to write before i knew life, but now that im living it i cant write anymore. maybe thats what ive been doing . LIVING LIFE

i just ready a paragraph from a previous chapter, it was me talking about a boy i thought i wanted to be with . not at all, i hung out with him , and he fucked up. he fucks everything up . ive been boy crazy lately. and ive been getting drunk .

even though ive ben getting drunk almost every weekend, since jauary, i took two week off.lastnight was the first time i did something crazy in awhile. i went streaking , it was a whole spur of the moment thing, but it was great when it happened, and i also belive i met the love of my life lastnight, hes beautiful, black and can sing. what more ids there to want.

everyones been judgemental, and ive been observing. i read catcher in the rye, and it ended perfectly." dont tell anone anything. or you'll start to miss everybody." thats the truest thing i think i've read all year.

natalia, were not as fun and rambunctious as we used to be. we have to be cautious. we cant fuck up anymore. but i cant livelife like that . ive been paying less attention to you. everythings getting rockier, were nearing the bottom of the ocean, or you are, and im floating to the top. i have a new bestfriend.

thanyou for taking care of me for three wonderful years. 3 fucked up years, you fucked me up . you got me involvd in weed, and im slowly coming out of that. but thankyou for making me realize.

now that i can goout and have a god time without you, ive become less dependent on you . im not the one calling you to hangout.. your the one calling me, im not trusting you anymore. and it doesnt phase me. i realize we probably wont talk in a couple of years, and life is too short to waste it with one person.