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Rated: · Other · Psychology · #1785446
being guilty and ashamed of things and feeling of being a failure
Well I am hiding my face from my friends, my teachers , my peers and everyone who knows me. I am trying my best to avoid them. The reason is that I have done a serious crime and thing to be ashamed of. Something which makes me guilty. The henious crime that I have committed is that I haven't been as successful as my friends. I have been left behind in the rat race of success. Success which is judged by your bank balance, cars and your social status which is also dependent on your pocket. I haven't visited Facebook for last three months as I can't see my peers boasting about their jobs and girlfriends and asking me where I stand. They may be curious but I find their queries insulting. I avoid my teachers and my relatives. It is not like I am a zero talented guy but I haven't achieved what they have. I am not opting for small jobs because I think they don't suit my status( I have a false belief that I have something special in me) and big opportunities haven't come yet. I am still clueless about my capabilities but everyone around has done noble job of counting my shortcomings and going by there judgement I am worthless. So should I give up? I should take a regular 9 to 5 job as others think I should and live with a guilt of not following something I believe in . But I am not sure what I believe in ? I am not sitting idle . I have completed my Post Graduation. I read books, write articles and am still preparing for my N,E,T exams . What is wrong with me ? Why are you dubbed as a failure too soon? Is what others around you achieve a standard to follow? I often ask these questions to none other than but myself. Because I seriously fear that others will laugh at me and will say that I am trying to find excuses.I might be a failure till date, but who knows about tomorrow.( I use these lines to console myself). But this in not only about me. There have been several examples of people who were late bloomers and did fantastic things in there lives. Thousands of youngsters lose hope when they lose in initial stage of this mad rat race of success . Some accept failure as part of there life and others take drastic steps such as falling to drugs or commit suicide. Is losing or not winning a really bad thing? What about the efforts we put in? The end result may be a zero but who knows that zero turns to be a hero . We have developed a habit of asking others to judge us and have lost feeling of facing ourselves in the mirror and decide where we stand. Yes one must work hard and achieve success but success is not a line which you can run blindly and touch. It is a feeling which gives you internal happiness. Effort is more important than result.If I am putting my best effort then why should I disconnect myself from the world. Being unsuccessful in comparison to your peers in not a crime.( I am still confused but great men have said that confusion can sometimes also be great teacher if you try to come out of it on your own). You may be ordinary but who knows something extraordinary is waiting for you. The tree of guilt will bear no fruit but seed of self belief will result in a oasis in desert of neglect and criticism . So all my friends who are facing same predicament let us rise and face our guilt and fears. Get back to Facebook and meet those who are successful. No shame and jealousy but only a firm belief that we will be not ashamed of our loss but proud of our efforts. Being a loser in this mad rat race is not wrong but being a loser in our own eyes is an unforgivable sin.
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