"Inadequate Summer"

"Inadequate Summer"


Hanging out every Saturday night
Watching you from across the room
Losing touch for a all these years
Giving you a second chance
Knowing its frivolity

Spending time at your place
Playing with the dogs
Eating out at a place far too expensive for either of us
Picking at food we can't afford

Driving two hours to the river house
Saying hardly a word
Laying on a beach towel
Wondering what you're laughing at
Sailing the high seas in a blow-up boat
Driving two hours home at one in the morning
Trying not to fall asleep at the wheel

Listening to your stories of our "before"
Trying to remember how we met
Walking through the woods in our dress clothes
Watching T.V. until 5 a.m.
Noticing the clock every once in a while

Running my fingers through tangled hair
Wondering if you realize what you're doing to me
Praising you for holding back
Cursing you for holding back

Breaking in with a credit card
Getting my own key
Scrambling eggs at midnight
Listening to you gripe about work in the morning
Smelling the chocolate chip cookies you're trying not to burn
Laying in the driveway, looking up at the stars

Going further and further
Realizing I'm still where I started
Loving you for being a friend
Hating you for not giving me a chance
Knowing what I want
Asking myself what I should do about it
Doubting I have it in me
Falling into the same trap I set for myself yesterday

Absorbing your callous with quiet resentment
Repressing the explosion while lighting the match
Trying hard not to give up
Giving up trying
Hanging up the phone
Breaking a glass against the wall

Confusing my critic with an unexpected move
Waking to realize it was all a dream
Bottling up the good feelings
Bottling up the bad ones
Separating them with a cardboard box
Recalling either as the present moment dictates

Being together for a couple of nights
Lasting longer than I thought we would
Catching a glimpse of that Hollywood gaze
Laughing at myself for even half-expecting it

Leaving for an opportunity
Worrying things might change again
Climbing a mountain to make the world make sense
Giving away my last cigarette