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Rated: E · Essay · Comedy · #1816782
This is an essay about my little brother and his attempt to walk on water

                       

                                                                    How To Walk On Water He,He,He
   

    When I was given this assignment I realized it was the perfect opportunity to immortalize my little brother in print.  I guess I better

explain.  My brother Robert found two large pieces of styrofoamRobert was about fourteen at the time.  After performing tests and

finding one would hold his weight in water he informed me he was going to make shoes, and walk on water.  Needless to say I thought

this was quite an undertaking.  The more I thought about this the more tickled I became but Robert was determined.



    Robert began to work feverishly shaping his shoes.  He was so enthusiastic he at least had me rooting for him.  He decided he

would have to carve out a place for his feet knowing he would have to move the pieces of styrofoam back and forth in the water.

I thought wow that was smart thinking.  In about an hour Robert had carved out sufficient holes for his feet.  With that I told you so look

he picked up his shoes and headed for the backyard where a canal flowed behind our house.  He placed the shoes in the water and

struggling managed to climb on.  He looked over at me triumphantly and started moving his feet back and forth.  I watched as the

shoes started to spread untill Robert was stretched beyond his capacity and plunged headlong into the canal.  I sincerely tried to

contain my laughter and I almost made it.  When suddenly laughter broke out from the other side of the canal I located the source

it was a backyard barbecue.  They brought their lawn chairs to the bankand were lined up watching the spectacle.  Oh I forgot to tell

you Robert was using the trial and error method.  He emerged fromthe water indignant and embarrassed he pulled his shoes upon

shoreand marched into the house.  Step two coming up.



    I turned my back to Robert hoping he couldn't see my shoulders shaking as I couldn't stop laughing. "One little mistake"he said

and I've got it covered.He pulled a ball of string out of his pocket and proceeded to tie the two shoes together leaving a little slack for

movement of course.  He climbed back on replying I will be the first to walk on water since Christ.  He shifted his feet back and forth

hitting the bank forcing his shoes out intothe open water.  He continued to shift his feet back and forth though it propelled him nowhere.

Robert gave me a helpless look and started to spin slowly with the current.  By this time the people across the canal were guffing

lying on their backs and holding their sides and I couldn't keep from joining them. it was kind of an elegant spin though more like a

poetic waltz.  The current eventually carried Robert across the canal yep you guessed it right to the banks of the barbecue.  Robert

jumped off calmly gathered his shoes,placed them under each arm and walked with some dignityout of the neighbor's backyard.



    Well in conclusion I can't say he didn't walk on water more like scooted with a tad of elegent spinning.  Maybe slow waltzing but

walking I'm not sure.  Well in his defence he was upright.  I could see Robert across the canal walking down the street towards the

bridgewhich was about two blocks down.  A few of the neighbors kids continued to follow Robert Laughing and grinning but you could

see they had a deep rooted admiration for him.  All I can say don't try this at home Robert is a professional and you could get hurt.

Eddie John
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