Burden of responsibility

I look out over the city, as many times before.
I've walked around in circles til my feet became all sore.
The pain inside is greater still, I've done so many wrongs.
How ever could it come to this? It's not like in the songs.
Once again I look back to a time I wished to change.
My mind was so naïve and all my goals were out of range.
The speech I held to everyone, I meant it, every word.
But now I see in hindsight, the notion was absurd.

"Within this country's borders you won't suffer anymore.
In here they cannot reach us, we have no part in this war.
My people, you will prosper and live in harmony.
We won't meddle with their disputes, whatever they may be.
The farmlands and the iron mines, and all that we have built
will be enough to keep us living free without a guilt.
Our natural resources are plentiful enough.
There are forests, lots of oil and fish, and all that other stuff."

I smiled along with all my subjects, heart filled with their cheers.
This was a new beginning, we were overjoyed to tears.
It was the greatest pleasure to know I had their trust.
Astonished how I moved them all, I had to do them just.
I tried to keep my promises but now it's all in vain.
This nation have now trough the years been fire loss and pain.
Cause even if you try to separate yourself from war
it sees you for your riches and comes knocking on your door.

I glance over the city, or the ruins that are left.
I was hoping for survivors, but the swords were far too deft.
Our farmlands burned to blackened soil, our oil is pumped dry.
If I hadn't wept enough since then I'd scream and wail and cry.
An impossible utopia, I was told by many men.
"I'll show them" I had thought, but they were right both now and then.
The reason I am still alive is not because I'm brave.
I pleaded for my life, so now I'm locked up in a cave.