Snakes Alive

THE ADVENTURES OF DOOFUS AND DANGERDOG

Snakes Alive, as told by Doofus Dog



Oh, what a wonderful day

Of sniffing and marking

And meeting and barking

Of walking and talking and

Playing and straying and

Swimming…

… with sticks.

What a glorious mix

Of racing my brother

For some twig or other

In water so cool…

…But, hang on…

…The fool!

He’s mistaking a snake thing

For a stick in the making.

Oh horror,

Oh woe,

Doesn’t he know?

It’s a wriggler and biter,

A dastardly fighter.

He’s lucky I’m near

As this much is clear.

I must save the old dear.

So I swim, lunge and snap

To secure the old chap

By the scruff of it’s neck,

Just to keep it in check

Till I swim to the shore.

At which point I’ll withdraw.

A hero. For sure.

Though why is my master

Screaming disaster

With ‘drop it’ and ‘stop it’

And ‘plop it’ and ‘bop it’ –

Did he say I was bad?

Perhaps he’s gone mad?

It’s so sad.

Better loosen my grip.

Just do as I’m told

Keep a stiff upper lip

Then toss it quite bold

And watch as it slithers

And wriggles and dithers

Then slips out of sight.

I’m a hero, all right!

I bark with delight.

Then I run and I roll and I

Prance like a star –

Till I’m shoved in a car

And driven quite far

For a prod and a prick

They now think I am sick

From that wriggly stick.

Why are humans so thick?