To Be Wanted

I saw his eyes sparkle as he caught her glimpse.
She smiled, warmed by the beams of his love.
But as I watched them my heart grew heavy
As I’d never seen this look or known that feeling.

I tried to disappear in my mind, elsewhere in thought
While the young lovers shared laughs and stories,
But all I felt was the presence of my loneliness,
The longing to be longed for, the object of one’s want.

What is it in me that turns their heads away?
Is it something that I do…or don’t?
Or am I simply invisible or worse—unlovable?
Either way, my heart’s darkness is cold.

A hand never held, a moonlight waltz never danced--
Is that to be my future?  Or am I wrong to ask?
Days I think I’ll be okay, but others aren’t so sure.
Heart, be hardened, so I cannot feel the icy ache.

But now my mind will go to a place far off,
Where no thoughts enter that remind me.
God, uphold my faith or turn me numb,
But until then I will wait to be wanted…

Jan 2013