Alien Saxophones From Planet Monotone

-Alien Saxophones From Planet Monotone-
by
Keaton Foster



Blow
Suck
WTF
They don’t work
Not for a damn
Quality sound
No way
No how
My ass
These alien saxophones
From planet monotone
Where on sale
Highly discounted
Out of box buys
Scratch and dents
The cost
The price
Seemingly an insignificant sum
Three for the price of just one
I acquired them from
Dave’s discount music emporium
And performance muffler shop
It’s down at the corner
Of MLK and
Little China Town Way
No matter how hard
I blow
No matter how enthusiastically
I suck
The sound remains unchanged
Regardless of velocity
Despite such animosity
Nothing increasingly different
I’m wrapping my lips
Puckering like a kiss
Even deep throating it a bit
But still no elevation
Oh shit
The sheet music
Calls for a b flat
And all I can get
Is a b squared
A musical note
More akin to hip hop
Then urban funk
Not to be confused
With retro spunk
And don’t even get me
Going on steampunk
Frankly because that has
Nothing to do with music
This nonsensical diatribe
Has a point and I
A madman turned poet
Am about to make it
These alien saxophones
From planet monotone
That I acquired from
Dave’s discount music emporium
And performance muffler shop
Down at the corner
Of MLK and
Little China Town Way
Are not doing what was advertised
I’m about return them
I’m about get what little cash
I paid for them back
Is there any lesson here
For you as well as me
Certainly there is
Don’t buy cheap ass shit
From suppliers that
Are unable to focus
On a singular business model
And if you must
Check out their suppliers
Long before you order
Because they might get
Their stuff from illegal aliens
And by that
I don’t mean Mexicans
I mean extraterrestrials…



Alien Saxophones From Planet Monotone
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2013

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