Ten Lords-a-Leaping

Ten Lords-a-Leaping


Melanie rode along side her husband, Archie, to the open meadow. Dismounting their horses they walked hand-in-hand leading their horses to babbling brook for a long drink.

Archie pulled off his boots and slipped his aching feet into the cool water. “I have to go the rest of the way alone.”

“I know,” replied Melanie. “How far is Christmas?”

“They said it would take days to get there.”

“How will you know when you get there if you are in Christmas?”

“Apparently, it will have a sign. I’m told I can’t possibly miss it. Signs of Christmas will be everywhere.”

Melanie sighed. “I wish I was going with you. Do you have enough food to last?”

“I’ll be fine. Tell the children I’ll miss them.”

“You sure you won’t need my whip? Just in case you meet up with some vermin.”

“That won’t be necessary.” He bent to kiss her.

Archie led Melanie back to her horse, Ivory, and then mounted Knight for the long journey along the rocky creek. He waited until Melanie and her horse began the climb back up the mountain.

Thirty minutes later he unsaddled his horse in Jack’s barn. Jack greeted him with a beer and slapped him on the back. “This is going to be so great. It’s time to go.” So they both hopped into Jack’s pickup and cruised the winding road down another portion of the mountain, before they picked up six more passengers.

“Hey, guys. Where are Bob and Todd?”

“They’re meeting in town.” The six climbed into the back of the rusty pickup and Jack sped away leaving a cloud of dust. The road became less bumpy so no one fell out. At the bottom of the mountain was Shanty Town. It really wasn’t much of a town. Just one warped wood structure with a lopsided blinking neon sign that read CASH ONLY. Today Butch’s wife was tending the tap. Everyone referred to her as Lady. It was always “Hey, lady, how ‘bout an ale.”

Like Butch, she was wizen and dried up. “So what are you fools doing here today?”

Archie started. “Well, I told Melanie I was going to Christmas for a job.”

The rest of the guys boasted the same thing.

Lady shook her head and started pouring ale into ten tin cups. “And why would they believe that story?”

Eugene laughed. “Cuz we’re the lord of the manor. Why shouldn’t we have some fun?”

“I guess you’re right boys, I mean lords.” Lady refilled their cups again and again.

Soon, Jack slurred, “Well guys we should get going if we want to make Christmas by nightfall.”

“What’s the hurry? Have another ale…on the house.” Lady continued to fill their cups.

Just as they downed the last drop and wobbled out of their seats, ten angry wives burst through the door with attitude.

Whips crackled in the air, sparks flew, and soon there were ten lords-a-leaping.



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