Lost in thought

I am completely lost, living inside my own thoughts, having conversations in my own subconscious. The problem is... I am the only one there, no outside guidance, subtle influence or opinion, simply me. All conversations are questions without answers and statements without objection. How do I find the answers? Do I need an outsider to contemplate what I need or want?

The truth is no, I know exactly what I want and need but its simply not the time. For me the timing is not perfect but I made a decision to make it the right time...I was and still am completely ready, willing and prepared to give every single particle of my existence to the decision I made.

This makes no difference in a life of two minds. Both minds must join in one parallel contribution. The weight must be equally distributed to balance well being. The prevention of tearing, wearing, cracking and eventual shattering of stability. Without consistent stability the task becomes uncontrollable. An uncontrolled task can be sometimes preferred as a natural building of unprepared progress... but if the progress is provided from only one mind, is it even considered as progress? The progress of a two minded task surely would consist of both minds coming together and producing the results. Results are not always considered progress and the results from onside can only prove strong enough for a short while until the inevitable wearing begins resulting in nothing less than the shattering of an individual mind left broken subdued and conversing within itself. So yes I am lost, lost within my own shattered thoughts depending on the realisation of the answer I knew from the very begging. An answer I knew before I made my decision, my decision influenced from the initial over whelming need from a another mind requesting my assistance in a task which I knew would inevitably be weighed much heavier on my mind. The unfair trade of thoughts and feelings.

Then amongst the shatter of proven failure a new question is brought forward. Is it me? It would not be the first time my mind had failed me, previously it has taken much longer for it to breakdown and eventually admit defeat in the failure of a task bound by two minds. In love and the search of supporting minds. It appears to me now that maybe or surely my mind was to simply reside within its own state of being. With nothing but brief interaction and the subtle outside influence of life itself. Continuing the daily task of preservation and achieving only goals provided with the intention of individual contentment.