Not alone am I?

Whenever I look up at the ceiling to focus my thoughts clearly, all i can ever ask myself is, "why do I feel like you aren't gone...". I know that I am not alone, because honestly there's my family all over the house in their rooms sleeping. Though I am here wide awake, wondering to myself, Why is it that i keep dreaming of you. Why every time I wake up, I feel like you just open up the wound that I tend to close up so dearly. Do you really want to make your presence known? My heart seems to grow heavy every single time, and i feel the shortness of breath as my tears gather in the corner of my eye.

The memories seem to strike heavy. Opening the wounds deep within my soul. All those people including you, seem to appear and tell me all over again that you will never leave. Honestly, that promise wasn't quite true...was it? I wish you could of stayed a bit longer, until I was able to depend on myself...Seeing me become the person you always wanted me to be but that wish never came to brake the surface. I suffer every night as I wake up dreaming of you. I hear your voice echo throughout my ears as i convince myself it's not real. If you only knew how better life would of been, how i wouldn' t be so scared of you...How i wouldn't consider myself a failure as your own child. The words "i am sorry" never really seem to reach its true meaning, from the grave to my own nightmares.

You make me wonder, is it true that you are trying to show a message through my memories and dreams? If so...I won't let go.