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Rated: 13+ · Novel · Fantasy · #2048965
This is the beginning of a story that I have been trying to write. Please could you review
Prologue

The rain pounded down against the tired warrior's body as his chest heaved trying to catch his breath. His armor shattered laying in pieces around him; he felt the wet earth pressing into his back. The warrior's red dragon wings lay broken on either side as his tail began to lose feeling. Sounds began to return to his ears as he turned and looked around seeing his soldiers beginning to fall one by one.
A soldier began to rush towards him, "The king has fallen! We must protect his body!"
Those words rang in his ears as a spear impaled the shouting soldier's chest soon followed by scuttling creatures ripping his body limb from limb. The sounds of the dragonic monsters eating the flesh of the courageous one, whom wished to come to his aide, began to drive him to move. The warrior being massacred drove his thoughts briefly elsewhere. His eyes tried looking towards the sea, but his vision was obscured by the creatures eating his men.
"I hope they esca.." blood sputtered from his mouth, silencing his words, as an immense pressure crashed down on his chest.
He looked down at his chest and saw an immense clawed foot digging into his chest. His eyes followed the leg up. All that was now visible to him was a dark silhouette with huge dragon wings on both sides. A huge neck leading up to piercing silver eyes glowing against the lightning streaked sky. The pressure began to lessen as the body on top began to slowly diminish. The imposing figure was replaced by one of moderate size and a hand grabbed his head and pulled it up.
A malicious whisper reached his ear, "Now I release you from your fear and pain."
The warrior king began to reach for a shard of his armor and as he gripped the metal piece he looked up as suddenly the pressure on his chest grew instantly. He stabbed the giant foot as hard as he could as more blood sputtered up from his mouth. There was a sickening crunch as the creature returned to his larger form and looked down. Seeing the metal fragment that the warrior had grabbed embedded in his foot; the creature flicked its immense foot dislodging it easily.
He surveyed the massacre unfolding before him stepping forward as his eyes latched on to something in the distance.

A woman ran as fast as she could towards a ship in the distance holding an egg close to her chest. Her feet beat against the ground as the guards around her began to back away in fear. A monstrous roar echoed from behind her and she turned and her eyes went wide. Through the rain a huge winged creature began to fly towards her. The guards began to put themselves between her and the creature.
Her heart raced as it jumped inside her throat trying not to look behind, keeping her eyes ahead trying to get to possible salvation. Beats of massive wings filled her ears drowning out the rain and thunder and then silence. A collective sigh was released and she turned seeing a black mass standing where her home was once. Her legs gave out and she fell to her knees as tears began to mix with the falling rain.
"Queen Alira we must go." A guard ran up to her helping her stand.
Her legs wouldn't move. Her eyes were fixed on where her love was now imprisoned and she screamed reaching towards the black mass. Guards began to grab her and drag her towards the boat as she fought and clawed at them never releasing her grip on the egg.
"No! Noo! I must go help him I must!" the guards began to drag the panicking queen towards the boat.
She was pulled on to the boat her tears mixed in with the pouring rain, her body laying limp in the arms of the guards. The ship left the shore carrying the remains of their race as the queen's caretakers began to help her inside one of the sleeping quarters. They noticed that she only had one egg and one walked up to her and kneeled down.
"My queen where is your other egg?" the woman wearing a light brown dress drenched in rain water.
Alira pulled the one egg tightly to her and dry sobs escaped her mouth, "My husband, my child…"
She fell back on the bed, her body exhausted, and drifted into a dreamless sleep. The woman with her tried to take the egg from her, but the egg was held in the tight gentle embrace. She stepped back and bowed and left the room. Alira slept soundly as the ship carried her and the survivors away.

A cloaked warrior walked on the outskirts of the black mass now encompassing the massacred land as he entered into outlying ruins. The rain began to slow down as blue sky slowly was revealed from behind the black clouds.
"So he wasn't able to reach this far." The cloaked warrior looked amongst the wreckage of a building and spotted a single black object.
He quickly moved closer and picked it up and examined it discovering that it was an egg. It was in pristine condition and he quickly hid it within his cloak as he heard his comrades walking closer. He left the collapsing building. He swiftly cut the supports as he exited causing the rest of the building to fall down.
One of the figures walked over, "Was there anything left?"
The warrior shook his head, "No it was already ravaged and pillaged. Those creatures work quick."
"Yea but our mutual 'friend' also works quick." The figure standing next to the warrior looked up at the towering mountain.
"I have business I must attend to now." The warrior began to walk passed the blackness.
"Kniaten! Remember we are going to hunt the rest of them!" The, now lone, figure let out a crackling laughter as the others left the area.
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