Piece by Piece Chapter 1

Piece by Piece

Chapter 1

Michelle stared out the dining room window. Across the table sat Brad, hands clasped on the table in front of him. Not wanting to look at him she kept her face averted. Don't cry, just don't cry. Please, please, please just keep it together, she willed herself silently, taking an unsteady breath to calm herself. Her heart was racing so fast it felt like she'd just run a marathon. It amazed her that it was still in her chest, beating away. She could've sworn Brad had just ripped it out and crushed it in his hands. With a shaking hand she brushed a few stray strands of hair out of her face, then quickly dropped it to her lap and squeezed it tightly with her other hand, hoping Brad had not noticed. For some reason she did not want him to see how much this was affecting her. Maybe it was pride, or maybe just the instinct of self-preservation. Either way she did her best to keep her emotions in check, but not quite succeeding.

Not been able to sit there any longer, needing to get away from his penetrating gaze and to give herself time, she stood and walked past him to the kitchen. She could feel his eyes boring into her back and was glad when she was through the door and out of sight. Grabbing a glass off the counter she made her way over to the scullery. Staring at the blank wall above the sink with one hand holding tightly onto the tap she tried to steady her shaking legs. The events of the last few minutes ran round and round in her head. This is not real. Has Brad just asked her for a divorce? Has he really? Is this some sick joke? Thoughts coming and going too quickly for her to keep hold onto even one. With concentrated effort, she poured water into the glass and drank it down.

Turning from the sink she found Brad leaning against the door frame staring at her. Promptly she turned back, poured another glass of water and with this in hand pushed past him into the dining room and went to stand in front of the window with her back to the door. The only sign of her distress was her shaking hand as she lifted the glass to her lips.

She was aware before he spoke that he had followed her.

"Michelle I know this is a shock to you, but if you think about it....."

With that she tuned out and was only vaguely aware of his voice in the background, only catching a word here and there. What on earth has just happened here? Has he gone mad? It can't be true, she must have heard wrong. Over and over, round and round, her mind raced. No matter how she wished otherwise, she knew the unthinkable had just happened.

When Brad fell silent she lowered herself into a chair and turned her gaze in his direction. Looking at him properly for the first time she wondered how she had missed this. How had she not known? Eight months; he had been having an affair for eight months! Unbelievable! If someone had asked her yesterday, or even just half an hour ago, if she thought her husband would cheat on her it would have been an emphatic, No!. She trusted him completely, believed in him completely and never in a million years imagined he would go out and do something like this. He was just not that type of person, or so she had believed. After twenty-one years of marriage, it just didn't seem possible. The man she knew would not do this. Brad, her Brad would not do this to her!

She was, or rather had been happy married to Brad, content with the life they shared and she'd believed he felt the same. Of course, like all marriages, they'd had their ups and downs, but nothing major and definitely nothing to the extent that should give her cause for alarm as far as fidelity was concerned. He had always held scorn for others who cheated on their spouses. Her happy life had been a lie; her hopes and dreams gone. Just gone! She felt cheated and confused.

Brad moved over to the table and sat down opposite her. His voice finally penetrating her thoughts, she realized he had started speaking again and she hadn't even noticed.

"... twenty-one years, and that's a long time, we had a good run. But now it's time to move on..." '

Unbelievably he was looking at her as though he was expecting her to agree with him! Studying his face she noted absently that he'd aged well. Even though over the last few years he'd developed a few lines around his eyes; laughter lines she remembered telling him, and with that came the memory of how often she'd kissed them lovingly. She noted the speckles of grey in his hair and remembered when she'd come across him standing in front of the mirror inspecting his hair with a fine toothed comb.

"Michelle look!" he said.

Coming to stand behind him she wrapped her arms around his waist. "What honey?" Peering around from behind and meeting his gaze in the mirror.

"I'm going grey," he wailed.

Michelle gave a short laugh. "So? What's wrong with that?"

Brad wriggled out of her grasp. "It's not funny, I'm too young to go grey. I'm barely forty years old! I think I should dye it."

Michelle did her best to suppress another giggle from escaping her. "Brad, trust me, it's not a bad thing. In actual fact I quite like it."

"Really?" he turned and looked at her.

"Yes really. It makes you look ...distinguished. It's one of the things women like about older men."

"Serious! I thought that was just talk."

"Us 'women' like our men to have a little grey in their hair." Michelle said smiling up at him. He was about six inches taller than her, her chin reaching just beneath his as she put her arms around him once more, tilting her head back as she teasingly said.

"Now this is not an invitation for you to seek out other women's opinions. On second thought, maybe you should dye it. I don't want to have to compete with some young floozy who's become besotted with you because of your new distinguished look," she teased.

Brad cupped her face in his hands looking into her eyes. "That is something you will never have to worry about darling. I'm yours heart and soul. I love you, always have, always will." Slowly he bent his head and with practised precision parted her lips with his. Then lifting her up in his arms, he carried her through to their bedroom.

Yes, she remembered it so clearly, just as if it was yesterday. But this time it didn't bring with feeling love, comfort and security in what they shared, just pain. So much pain. Now, he was telling her something completely different. Had it all been a lie then? She watched his lips; lips she had kissed just yesterday; forming words she did not want to hear. Slowly his voice reached her ears and she realized her mind had wandered off again and that she had been staring at him.

"...all in all I would say our time together has been good, I can't deny that, but for a little while now I have felt like there's been something missing. It's not you...."

Oh please, not the 'it's not you' speech, spare me that at least, her inner voice interrupting him again.

".... you've been a wonderful wife and mother to the kids."

Well, what's the problem then? She turned her gaze back to the window as he rambled on.

Stretching across the table, he took her limp hands drawing her gaze back to him.

"I will always care for you Michelle, it's just that I don't love you that way anymore," he stared for a moment at her, "I feel more like a brother to you than a husband. I think it's time we moved on. I don't want to spend the rest of my life without...just settling for...you know...our life is just not going anywhere," he trailed off.

Michelle not did reply and seeing the flash of anger in his eyes she could tell that her silence unnerved him

"There's no excitement left in our lives," he continued with an edge to his voice, "our life together has just become very... well boring... and if you thought about it you would agree with me. If this had happened to you and you'd met someone who made you feel alive again you would be doing the same," He's trying to justify his actions! How unbelievable! Changing tactics he looked at her pleadingly, willing her to understand and to accept what he was saying.

"I've met and fallen in love with someone else, Michelle; do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I get it," Michelle's hissed her voice barely louder than a whisper as she turned her head towards him anger briefly flashing across her face. To her consternation a tear broke free and made its way slowly down her cheeks. Who is this man sitting across the table from her saying these horrible things? It looks like her husband, but this is not her husband. What's going to happen now? What about the kids, how are they going to react? Slowly the reality seeped through to her confused mind. This was real, the unthinkable had just happened. Her husband was leaving her for another woman.

Wiping her cheek she tried to come to grips with her feelings, anger, pain, heartache, disappointment, she didn't know where to begin. She felt a great urge to scream and shout at him. Say hurtful things to him. Hit him in an effort to hurt him the way he had just done to her, but then strangely, she also wanted to put her arms around him and hold him tight. She needed time; time to think about this, to get things sorted out in her mind.

Brad patted her hand gently. "You won't have to worry about anything financially. You can live in this house with the kids. I'm not going to expect you to move out. Not straight away anyway. I'll get my lawyer to handle everything. There's no need for you to worry about anything, everything's going to be fine. We'll still be friends; we just won't be married anymore. I will always be there for you; I want you to know that."

Pulling her hand out from underneath his grasp she looked into his eyes trying to see some sign of the man she loved. But it was as though she was looking at a stranger. This was not her husband, he was gone, lost to her and somehow she just knew she would never find him again.

"Things are not always so simple. Divorce changes people. You have already changed," she said with an edge to her voice. "I can't discuss this now, I need time," she said surprisingly calmly. Standing up she made her way to the front door picking up her bag and car keys on the way.

"I'm glad you're being so adult and understanding about this Michelle," he called after her. "So I'll get my lawyer to draw up the papers then?"

Michelle stopped and turned. "What's the big rush," she looked at him suspiciously, "is she pregnant or something?"

"Of course not Michelle, what do you take me for?" he said sounding hurt.

"Have you slept with her; have you, Brad?" she asked looking at him accusingly. "Stupid question, of course you have," she said hitting herself on the side of her head with her hand as some of her anger surfaced. "Stupid me!"

"No I haven't," Brad said defensively as he stood up to follow her. "I would never do that to you, that's why I want to sort this out before anything does happen".

"Oh sure, you expect me to believe that, after you've just told me you've been seeing her for the past eight months?" Her voice rising as she continued. "You want me now to believe that in those eight months you have never slept with her, had sex with her? I may have 'fool' written across my forehead Brad, but you know what, I'm not an idiot!"

Brad made a move toward her, but she put up her hand, "Stop!!" she shouted. "Stay right where you are. Don't come any closer," turning she opened the front door, then hesitated as she was about to close it behind her. "Have your lawyer draw up the papers and send them over, I'll have a look at them and let you know," she then slammed the door shut behind her.

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