Living Alone

It is 6 AM and I am up and already on my second cup of coffee. I am happy and peaceful. Wondering the things I wonder in the peace of the morning. It is my favorite time of day, the sun shines “just right” through the kitchen, basking the worn oak floors with golden light. I am grateful to be alive. Yep, it happens just like that every day.

Since I have been a very early morning person throughout my life I have essentially been alone for almost all of them, whether I lived alone or not. It is a rare thing to love the sunrise and then actually be up for them. Usually its a fanciful notion unless you milk cows for a living. I am my constant companion, and who else gets up at 5 am is happy about it. I am one of those. A morning person. Even my dogs go back to bed till 9.

This morning I have already read the morning news online and the local paper too. I am planning my day. It is an easy one. I can choose. The peace of retirement and the needs of rest before activities.

I really busted my chops taking care of the yard and cleaning yesterday, today I will chill a little and maybe spend time in my beloved art room. Delightful. Its full of all the nuts and bolts of crafting. Macrame to Metalcraft I got it happening in there.. Busy and happy. I don’t mind living alone at all, in fact it is pretty awesome.

There was a time, when I thought I ached for that person to share a cup of coffee with each morning. Sharing that idyllic morning routine I imagine the happiest people have, talking over steaming cups of Jo, making the days plans, dividing chores. Yeah, sweet right?

Yeah it sounds so nice. However. Can I say ,Oh my, that was not my experience of sharing a household with any of my past partners. I found it was all cranky chaos and kinetic energy. Lots of domestic emergencies (lost lunch, lost socks, lost books) as matter of course. Milky messes made and my lateness guaranteed to whatever I thought I was going to get to. Opposite of peaceful. So I love what I have.

For the last 18 years or so I have been alone by choice and I think it is gonna finish out for me like that. I am not upset at the notion, it has a happy tone. And it is so much more than ok. I have found out that I can be a good friend to myself consistently and therefore the tapestry of my life is more full and colorful and peaceful than if I had perhaps settled or muted myself. I could have become the Stepford wife “they” had in mind for me or done nothing as I just waited for the person who would “complete me”. Oh my, that is just so wrong. This is my one and only glorious life.

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and make the change we are capable of making ourselves. Just become the person you’ve been waiting for. Live your life as if you are the love of it. Because that’s the only thing you know for sure – you are the center of everything. You can be certain that through every triumph, every failure, every fear, and every gain that you will ever experience until the day you die, you are going to be present. When things are great -You are going to be the person who shows up to accept your rewards. When things are all kinds of bad You are going to be the person who holds your own hand when you’re broken. When brought to your knees You are going to be the person who gets yourself up off the floor. Every darn time. And when you want your life to be different, you are at the helm and can make those changes. If these things are not “love-of-your-life” qualities, I don’t know what are.

We have to start appreciating all that we bring to our own lives. Because the ironic truth is, you are most attractive when you’re not worried about who you’re attracting. When you’re living your life confidently, freely, and without restraint, you emit the kind of energy that just isn’t possible to fake. It draws more energy and relationships you need to create the life you are seeking. This kind of energy is capable of transforming, not just your own life, but the lives of people around you.

So stop looking for ‘The One’ to spend the rest of your life with. Be ‘The One’.

And watch how they come searching for you.