Save Me

Karman looked up as she picked up the mini brownie to see the disapproving look on her father’s face. She slowly put it back down knowing what was to be heard after the party.
“Hey Karman, what’s up” Her best friend Sammy walked up beside her.
“Hey Sammy, nothing.” Karman sighed.
Sammy looked over at Karman’s father and knew what was wrong already and the party hadn’t even started. Karman’s parents always have had a problem with Karman’s eating habits and weight. They always fought with her and put her down when they thought she was gaining too much weight or if she wasn’t “looking her best.” Sammy hated Karman’s parents, but loved Karman; they had been best friends since they met in third grade. Whenever Sammy came over, Karman’s parents always gave her disapproving looks but unlike Karman, Sammy didn’t need their approval, she would grab a snack and smash the whole thing in her mouth as she stared at them.
She did that now then handed one to Karman. Karman shook her head but looked at the brownie longingly.
“Karman.” Sammy looked into her eyes. “Just eat it. It’s just a small brownie.”
Karman shook her head and took the brownie. She turned her back from her father knowing her mother wasn’t too far behind him, soon to be staring at her with the same look. She nibbled a small corner and threw it away as she walked by a trash can. Leaving Sammy behind Karman walked out on the front porch and sat on the swing. As she swung she remembered this morning, trying on hundreds of dresses, because she thought she looked too fat in all of them. She knew she wasn’t really fat, she may be able to lose a few pounds, but she wasn’t so big where when you looked at her you wondered how much she weighed. She was 15 and weighed 125 pounds. She thought of all the times her mother made her change her clothes because she “showed too much of her actually weight”. Her mother taught her how to put makeup on when she was 7 because her mother thought she looked much better with makeup. She remembered that day she sat in her room for hours crying because she believed her mother didn’t like her because of her looks. Karman grew up thinking all anyone cared about was looks.
Karman wiped away a tear that had snuck down her cheek. It hurt to know what your parents really thought of you, but Karman would never let anyone know how much it actually hurt, not even Sammy. A lump began to form in her throat as tears started falling faster. The more she thought about her looks and her parents, the more she cried. She felt a panic attack coming and she didn’t want anyone to see. Karman ran off the porch, she took her high heels off and threw them through her parents open car window. She reached in the backseat and grabbed her converse and quickly threw them on as she ran down the street. Karman wanted to get away from everyone. She wanted to go to a place that no one could find her till she felt better, not even Sammy. Karman knew of just the place.
Karman looked around making sure no one was walking the grounds. All the guards knew Karman because she was here at least three times a week, but she knew she would get into trouble if she was caught here after dark. She had never been to Graceland this late before; she only came here when it was open to the public. This was the first time she had ever actually hopped the tall brick wall surrounding the hundreds of acres that once belong to Karman’s favorite person. Elvis Presley.
Karman quickly ran to her favorite place, Elvis’ mediation garden. She always felt better here, she always quickly calmed down after one of her panic attacks. As she sat there staring at Elvis’ mother’s grave she felt her breathing slow down. Karman stared off into space; she loved these moments when she didn’t have to think about anything, when her mind had nothing to say. Karman began to sing her favorite song, ‘Bridge over Troubled Water’. As Karman sang she thought she heard someone talking, she stopped.
Footsteps started coming towards her, she realized that the talking wasn’t talking it was singing. Someone was singing the song she had just been singing. She ran to the huge barn that housed the Graceland horses. She hid behind one corner in the shadows. Karman realized the footsteps were still coming closer she sunk deeper into the shadows hoping she was not about to get caught. The singing got louder, the footsteps stop not far from where Karman was crouched on the ground.
“When you’re weary, feeling small. When tears are in your eyes I will dry them all. I’m on your side, oh, when times get rough, and friends just can’t be found. Come on Karman sing again your voice is amazing.” The voice began to singing again.
Karman was confused she didn’t know who it was or how they knew her name she had never heard this voice but yet she felt like she had. How did he know where she was hiding she was a quiet runner there was no way he knew where she had run to.
“Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down, Oh, like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down.” The voice was right beside Karman now, she heard him sit down, neither one of them said anything. Karman couldn’t see anything from where she was sitting.
“I sit in that office every day, all day watching the cameras video tape all of the people that stop and take pictures, talk with their families about what they see, all day long. But not once have I seen you take pictures or talk to anyone but my guards.”
“Who are you?”
“Ah she speaks. I am the one that designed the very place you spend so much time in. I designed that garden to do just as you do, to get away from everyday life. I go there every night to pray, talk to my family, or just to stop thinking all together. Come, walk with me Karman.” She heard him get up, but was scared to follow him.
“Come on I won’t bite.” She heard him chuckle as he walked away. Karman got up and slowly followed behind him.
As she walked behind him the light hit his back, she saw he had short cut dark blonde hair. He wore dark suit pants and a black sports jacket and he walked with a slight limp to the right. There was no way this is who she thought it was, was it?
“Are you…?” Karman began.
“Yes, I am Elvis Presley, Karman. But I go by John Burrows now, for obvious reasons. Come sit with me, talk to me.” Elvis sat down on the little bench across from his family’s graves.
Karman sat beside him, still so confused. Was she dreaming, this had to be a dream?
“Tell me why you’re here so late tonight. I’ve never seen out here at night. “
“I just didn’t want to be at the party my parents are at.” She shook her head. She felt tears come to her eyes. She quickly wiped them away; there was no way she was going to cry in front of this complete stranger who claimed to Elvis Presley. She couldn’t help but remember the looks on her parent’s faces whenever she ate something. She couldn’t help but think about what her parents will say when she got home. Shoot she had to get home it was probably way past curfew. She was screwed.
“What time is it?” Karman jumped up.
“About nine after eleven. Is everything alright?”
“I have to go its way past my curfew. I’m sorry. “
“Come back tomorrow night, Karman. We’ll talk, alright?” Elvis said standing up.
“Yes that would be great. How about seven, I really would love to talk to you.”
“Yes, yes that would be perfect Karman. Now go. Tell the guards to let you out through the gates. No more hopping the fence, I’ll let the guards know that you are allowed to come in whenever you want.” He stood up and began walking towards the house.
Karman ran down the long driveway. The guards slowly opened the gates and waved as she ran through.
“See you tomorrow Ms. Johnson.” That was no surprise all the guards seem to know who she was, though she didn’t remember telling any of them her last name.
She slowly walked into the house; hopefully they had gone to sleep by now. The living room light was on already, which wasn’t different they always leave that on for when the maids come in the morning. She started up the stairs and saw a flash of her mother’s white robe. She silently cussed to herself.
“Where have you been? Do you know what time it is? What were you at some boy’s house and lost track of time? Do you know how bad you made us look leaving the way you did, and how much of the crap did you eat. Ugh I can’t even deal. Go away.” Her mother headed down towards her parents room. Karman heard the door slam. Shaking her head she slowly walked to her room, happy her father hadn’t been up, but knowing she would have to see him in the morning. She crawled into bed, not caring what she had on.
The sun shone through her lace curtains, rolling over she saw it was eight knowing her father went to work at seven, signing with relief Karman slowly got up and walked into the bathroom. She turned on the shower as warm as she could get it; turning to look for her toothpaste she saw her reflection for the first time since putting her makeup on for the party last night. Mascara was running down her face, her foundation had come off in some spots showing her slightly pale freckled face. She stared at her reflection for a long time. Trying to see what other people saw. She thought her face looked chunky and she hated her freckles. She wished she could just wipe the freckles away with all the makeup. She wished when she got in the shower she could scrub away all the extra fat and be the perfect little girl her parents wanted. The longer Karman stared at her reflection the more she found something wrong with herself. She was too fat for her age she saw that now. Her foundation was too dark for her complexion but she couldn’t find anything strong enough to cover up her ugly freckles. She slid down to the floor into a ball. Thinking of all the things she had wrong with her, she began to cry and convulse. She never felt this way before but the way her mother had acted last night was the last straw. She wiped her tears and got up off the floor slowly pulled off her clothes and stepped into the shower. The hot water running over her made her cry harder, by the time the water began to run cold Karman had cried herself to sleep on the shower floor.
“Karman!!! Karman??” Sammy was shaking Karman awake.
“Are you okay? Get up.” Sammy reached up to shut the water that was still running over Karman and helped her off of the shower floor.
“What time is it?” Karman asked slowly walking over to the bed.
“It’s almost one in the afternoon.” Sammy threw a towel towards Karman.
“I missed school, didn’t I?” shaking her head, Karman didn’t even care. She wrapped the towel around her head and crawled under the blankets.
“What are you doing?”
“Not caring.” Karman rolled over not looking at her best friend.
“Ssssoooo… you’re not caring that you have work in like in hour?”
“Call off for me, tell them I have food poisoning or something.”
“Alright, call me if you need anything.” Sammy quietly closed Karman’s door as Karman quickly fell asleep.
Karman opened her eyes to see her room almost pitch black. She rolled over to look at her clock, it was seven thirty.
“Crap!!!” Karman jumped out of bed and immediately started pulling clothes out of her drawers. She was late. She was supposed to be at Graceland almost half an hour ago. She quickly got dressed. As she ran down the stairs she saw her father sitting in his reading chair reading the paper. Hoping he wouldn’t see her she darted for the front door.
“Where are you going?” he slowly folded up his paper.
“To Sammy’s for a little bit. I’ll be back by ten. I promise.” Karman slowly started walking to the door again.
“Without any makeup on or anything, ugh I don’t know why Sammy’s parents even let you in the door looking like that.” Her mother sat on the couch across from her father and began reading her book. Karman ran for the door knowing tears were coming. As she closed the door behind her she quickly wiped her face with her hoodie sleeve.
As Karman walked up to the gates of Graceland, they slowly began to open.
“Ms. Johnson, how was your day?” The guard smiled at her as she walked through the gate.
“Fine, I guess.” Karman replied.
“You can go straight up to the house Elvis is waiting for you in the music room. I believe you know where that is.”
“Yes, thank you. I’ll be fine.”
Karman slowly walked up the driveway, five minutes later she was walking through the front door. She turned right and walked through the living room to the little room off of it, Elvis Presley’s music room with his grand white piano. He sat there now.
“Hey.” Karman slowly walked up behind him.
“Hey, your late.” He continued to quietly play.
“Ya I over slept. Sorry.”
“Its fine just make sure you let me know. I was worried about you.” He turned around and slowly got up. Karman slowly followed behind him. He led her down stairs to the basement, to his media room. He sat down on his large couch and patted the seat next to him.
“Tell me why you look like you have been crying.” Karman began to tell him, she had never told anyone anything like what she began to tell him, not even Sammy. She told him about how her parents made her feel so self-aware of everything. How her mother made her feel like she wasn’t pretty enough for anyone. How she felt like she was so over weight. By the time Karman was finish telling him everything, she was all cried out, she actually started feeling better.
“Now let me tell you something Karman Johnson. Don’t you ever think you’re not good enough for anything. You can do anything you put your mind to. You’re not too fat you are perfect. And you know what you have no makeup on right now right?” Karman nodded her head, Elvis got up and pulled the mirror off of the wall and turned it towards Karman.
“You look gorgeous. You don’t need makeup. You remind me of Priscilla when she was younger. She was so worried about her self-image that it took away from her real beauty. You are beautiful no matter what you have on or what you don’t have on. Your parents don’t seem to know that. But you better know that. You’re not going to get anywhere in life if you’re worried about the way you look all the time.” Karman sat back on the couch and thought about what Elvis had said. He was right. She shouldn’t be so worried about what everyone thought about her or what she looked like she was perfect the way she was. Karman thought about this as she walked home.
It was just turning nine thirty as she closed the front door. Her father was sitting in his reading chair on his computer. He looked up as she walked to the stairs.
“How was your time at Sammy’s?”
“Fine. I guess.”
“Ok.” Her father went back to what he was doing on his computer.
“I wasn’t at Sammy’s.” Karman blurted out. He father slowly took off his glasses and looked up at her.
“So where were you?”
“Graceland.” She looked down at her shoes.
“Look at me when you speak. Tell me why you were at a public place after it is closed. Graceland mansion closes at four. So want to tell me where you really were.” He stared at her.
Karman began to tell him again that she really was at Graceland and tell him the whole story when the doorbell rang. Karman’s father got up and answered the door.
“Yes?”
“Hello Mr. Johnson. My name is John Burrows. Your daughter forgot her bag at Graceland mansion while she was helping clean up. She’s a very good girl. Yu should be very proud of her. We love having her help with our Christmas party we have for the local orphanage. She’s great help.” Karman looked over her father’s shoulder and saw Elvis wink at her.
“Thank you.” Her father handed her bag to her. “She was at Graceland, helping with an orphanage Christmas party?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Okay. Thank you.” Her father slowly closed as Elvis walked back to the car.
She watched her father sit in his chair and grab his computer. Karman walked up the stairs and smiled to herself. As she walked towards her room she heard her parents door open.
“Did you have fun?” Karman turned to see her mother in her white robe.
“Yes.”
“I don’t know how you didn’t scare those young children. You look completely horrid.” Her mother stated as she shook her head.
“I looked perfectly fine, Mother. I don’t need perfect clothes or makeup to get anywhere in life. I can do perfectly fine without makeup. In fact…” Karman ran to her bathroom and grabbed every piece of makeup she owned. She ran pass her mother into their room and dumbed all of the makeup into their trash can in their bathroom. She walked passed her mother towards her room.
“Really? I’m not buying you anymore. You’re just going to have to walk around the way you are.”
“That’s fine. I don’t need makeup. I learned today, that people love me just because of the way I act not the way I look. I am perfect the way I am. My freckles are perfect. I can do anything I put my mind to. I don’t need makeup or fancy clothes, I don’t need to lose hundreds of pounds just feel good about myself. I AM PERFECT THE WAY I AM AND NO ONE CAN CHANGE THAT!!!!!” Karman turned from her mother’s shocked face to see her father standing on the stairs.
“You are perfect the way you are, Karman. I’m sorry if we ever made you feel like you weren’t.” Her father walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders.
“I still think she needs makeup with those ugly freckles of hers.” Her mother turned around and slammed the bedroom door.
“She has freckles too.” Karman’s father chuckled.
“Come on let’s go watch a movie or something. We haven’t done that in a while.” He put his arm around her shoulder as they walked down the stairs.
“That would be perfect dad.”
From that night on Karman never felt self-conscious again. Because one person told her she was perfect after so many people told her she wasn’t. Karman learned that her self-image was something completely different then what other people actually saw her as. She was perfect without having to change herself. Eventually her mother would learn the same thing as she saw her daughter blossom into the perfect young women she wished her parents had taught her to be. She realized that she had made her daughter so self- conscious that she never wanted to talk to her about anything. She didn’t know her daughter loved history and reading just as she does. She herself began to see herself as beautiful, she began to use less and less makeup as her daughter now used none at all.
Self-image is a terrible problem in United States among young teenage girls and young men. Most of this problem begins with the parents of these young children. Some start off as well rounded children but turn into self-conscious adults because of the media around them, magazines tell young girls they need to be skinny to be beautiful. Others tell them they need a lot of makeup to be beautiful. When in truth they are beautiful the way they are. Every young male and female human being is perfect the way they are as long their heart is beautiful, they will always be beautiful.