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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2162339-Scene-Example-Three
Rated: E · Short Story · Action/Adventure · #2162339
This is my last example. It's one hundred and nineteen lines line. Almost two minutes.
EXT. A FORTRESS – FOREST SURROUNDING IT – VERY EARLY DAY

BRANDIE, late twenties, steps out of a forest. She quickly
steps back. About five hundred feet in front of her is a
large fortress.

                    BRANDIE
               (speaking out loud)
          I didn’t think that it was that close.
          The satellite photos didn’t show it was.

Three more, another female and two males, step up beside
Brandie. They can barely be seen hiding among the trees too.
Two pair of armed males cross paths in front of the front
gate from different directions.

                    THOMAS
                (looks at Brandie, then back at the fortress)
          That’s not going to be as easy as we
          thought it was going to be to get into
          that fortress.

Looking at the fortress, Brandie smiles. Then she looks at
THOMAS, mid-twenties, still smiling.

                    BRANDIE
          Getting in there isn’t going to be a
          problem. It’s getting out alive that
          might be.

Brandie takes her cell phone out of pocket, unlocks it, and
hits the phone icon. She selects three phone numbers from
the contact list that appears on it. Three other pictures
besides hers appears on her phone.

                    BRANDIE
               (speaks into phone)
          We are in position. I want an update on
          the rest of you.

A picture of MARTIN, early thirties, appears on that phone.
Brandie pulls her phone back slightly so the other three
there could see it.

                    MARTIN
          Team South here, we are ready to go in
          too. Been ready for quite a while now.

                    BRANDIE
          How many are patrolling on that side of
          the fortress? Do you see any problems
          getting into it?

                    MARTIN
          There are four sets of two. Two walking
          are East to West. The other two are
          patrolling West to East.
               {beat)
          It might not be easy to get in. We don’t
          think it’s going to be any problem doing
          it, though.

Martin’s picture suddenly disappears to be replaced with a
picture of LAUREN. She is in her early thirties.

                    BRANDIE
          The least he could have done is signed
          off. I’m not surprised he didn’t.

                    LAUREN
          It’s not his fault this time. I did it
          because I thought he was finished
          checking in with you.
                (beat)
          As for Team West, we are ready too. We
          also have the same number patrolling on
          this side. It shouldn’t be any problem
          getting in for us either.

                    BRANDIE
                (smiling)
          Very good update as usually. Next time
          let Martin finish on his own, though.

Brandie taps her cell phone. The picture of Lauren leaves to
be replaced with VICTOR. Victor is in his early to twenties.

                    VICTOR
          Team East, we are almost ready to go. We
          should be when we start our attack.

                    BRANDIE
                (looking shocked)
          What do you mean by that? What’s wrong?

                    VICTOR
          Nothing is wrong. I just came ahead of
          the other three to check it out. They
          should be here at any time.

                    BRANDIE
          That’s good to hear. You had me worried
          there for a second.
                (beat)
          What about your check out? Do you see
          any problems?

                    VICTOR
          It’s the same as the others. No problems
          that I can see right now. We shouldn’t
          have any problems either.

Once again, Brandie taps her cell phone. Only this time it’s
not just Victor’s picture who disappears. It only disappears
for a second before it returns with the other three pictures
of Brandie, Lauren, and Martin.

                    BRANDIE
          Everyone checks your watches. We start
          our attack in one minute.


Todays Prompt: Planning an attack
Line count: 119








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