Jumping to Conclusions

Jumping to conclusions, I dare say, is the most uncaring way, or disrespectful thing for anyone to do. It's too bad, but it appears that a lot of people do it. When my relative tells me to read between the lines of something that was written or said, somehow, not really thinking about it, assumptions were made. Believing that I knew what I was talking about, I began to regard it as gospel truth. In fact, once my mind was made up, I became stubborn about it; I wasn't going to change my mind; I wouldn't budge from the train of thought I had. When someone assumes something, you know what they say, it makes an a-- out of you and me. I didn't want to fill in the blank because I don't like to say that word. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I've said that word, thinking that no one would understand me if I didn't say it.

Due to my upbringing, I was taught morals, such as to respect my elders, men were to open the car door for the ladies, let the ladies go ahead of the men, and say please and thank-you, etc. They were values that showed how to live a good life; rules that showed how nice gentlemen should act. One of the things I learned was to apologize (say I'm sorry), when I did, or said something wrong. These days, most people get mad at me for apologizing.

Jumping to conclusions is like an analogy of being stubborn as a donkey, compared to being stuck in our ways. The question is, how do we persuade them to accept the truth of our version, instead of getting it set in their mind, that what they're thinking is the real truth? Coming up with that answer can be tough or difficult. Sometimes I feel that I just want to shake them, when they don't believe that what I'm saying is the truth. It wouldn't do a world of good to shake them; it wouldn't change their mind anyhow. Not only that, but I would surely get in trouble; I would get the blame, an escalation would start up (such as a big argument). It would be like saying in the military, "Damn them torpedoes".

Jumping to conclusions can be reversed by saying, "Conclusions, we're jumping to". Sometimes I figure that when you're on the opposite political party of someone else, and you're nice to someone (sincerely wishing for them to have a good day), and their response would be, "now if we just get rid of them ------------, we would be fine". The blank is the particular party that you are. At this particular time, when that happens, is to shut your mouth, and be quiet, (otherwise, you may get hit, or done away with), for not being on their particular party. This happened to me; I'm sure glad that I didn't say anything more to that man. I'm pretty positive that if I had said something, who knows what would've happened.

It's a scary world out there. There's so much hatred. I feel that I'm walking on eggshells all the time, for fear of being trampled on for being who I am (in other words, being myself). I wish a whole bunch, that everyone could just chill, turn off the hot water that seems to fester up, until it reaches the boiling point. When it reaches that point, it's time to duck, run away, and hide. Going into isolation can put someone into a detrimental situation, especially if they'd like to go outside for an enjoyable walk. Fearing for their life, whether it's real or imagined, they chose to remain in isolation. It's shameful, thinking that,since your thinking is different than theirs, that you can be beaten up or shot. This is unfair, in my opinion.

Here's a poem that I thought of, and wrote, about jumping to conclusions:

Jumping to conclusions

is an illusion of images,

stuck in your head,

about all the things that you dread;

it's hard to look forward to what's ahead.

Whether it's imagined, real, or not,

it's the thing that gets you tied in a knot.

Dreaming big won't get no response.

What's the use when you're controlled;

it must be better to despond.

To digress from being shut-in, or confined,

what can we do, but just give up?

Don't allow yourself to be swayed by them;

Restore yourself, and be renewed,

and not be bothered by your kin.

We've got values, let's be clear;

we'll show the world what we've got;

we're important, don't forget,

we care about people, this we know,

even though we're not liked, we've got class.

It's best for your sanity (this includes myself), not to jump to conclusions. This, in my opinion, will cause anxiety to escalate. Let's remember to chill, calm the waters that this storm brings, and enjoy the peace that will come again. Even though you feel that nobody loves you, don't get stuck in a rut by thinking only of the bad. Hug yourself, tell yourself that you're okay. This will release all the ugliness that you tell yourself every day. Hang in there! You're worth it!

I struggle with jumping to conclusions from time to time. Mostly, it's because of the hurt I've experienced in my life. When I was asked out on a date, I'd spend hours looking out the window, waiting for my date to show up; I ended up in tears, because I knew that I'd been stood up, and didn't understand why. Or, if I went on a date, when I saw them again, they acted like they didn't know who I was. I began to think negatively about myself from then on. Once, I was asked out to a high school dance. When I showed up at the dance, I saw him dancing with other girls. This devastated me; the emotion and thought I had, was that there was something wrong with me; I thought that I was ugly, and didn't have what it took for anyone to like me.

At the age on twenty-one (21), I got married for the first time, after knowing him for only two months. I was divorced almost ten years later, in 1987. One year later, in 1988, I got married again. This marriage lasted for fourteen years, when I walked out of the house to take care of my mother. I put up with a lot of verbal outbursts from him. I divorced him; it became final about the second or third month in 2007. I represented myself in both cases. One thing, though, during my second time representing myself, something happened to me; the judge asked me a question, which I tried my best to answer. I don't know what happened, but, he said that if I said another word, that I would be held in contempt of court. This blew me away. All I could say was, "Okay, your honor". It was on my mind when I asked myself the question, "What did I do wrong?" I wondered what the people sitting in the courtroom must've thought about that.

I'm a woman who gets her feelings hurt easily. I've taken classes on how to stand up for myself. I've had to stand up for myself at times, but, it didn't do me any good. All it did was cause the problem to escalate from the person involved. All I ever wanted to do was keep the peace. The fact that I'm slow seems to irritate people. I can't do anything about that; it's just plain ole me. Other people need to be accepting of that.

Conclusions are jumping all over the place. Why are they jumping, you're probably asking? They're jumping because our mind thinks it already knows the answer, when in reality the answer isn't correct at all. What remedy is best, when many conclusions get in the way of what can make ourselves feel more content, more at ease, and more relaxed? We could write our answers down on a separate piece of paper, put them in a jar or basket, and draw one out. Have two jars; one for good answers, and one for not so good answers. This way, the negative ones would be out of the way, and the good ones would tame down the anxiety. In my opinion, a good answer would solve the problem of jumping to conclusions. It may be correct, or it may be wrong. What the hey, it couldn't hurt. Just an idea.

There's a method to my thinking that's creative. Even though something may seem impossible to do, I want to bring it up; the way things go, one wouldn't know if the imaginary mind can turn an impossibility into a possibility.

In my opinion, once again, I think it can affect your health when jumping to conclusions. I can compare this with being seasick (it starts by seeing waves in your vision, you feel light-headed, out of sorts, with an upset stomach that makes you feel nauseated. Feeling miserable is a given. My suggestion is, don't do it, don't let conclusions sit there in your mind. Get in a mindset where you're strong enough to combat this, by telling it to fade out, disappear, and not to come back. Once this is done, the misery will drop out of existence; you won't be miserable now. You've conquered it. You feel much better about yourself. You've become a jumping to conclusion buster, or a conclusion jumping buster. Give yourself a huge hug. You deserve to get credit for that; it wasn't an easy thing to do. We can believe that we're able to do a pole vault by jumping high into the air; a giant leap over those conclusions.

Doing the inevitable is a major accomplishment; it restores your well-being; it invigorates your self-esteem and awareness. You'll be able to share your victory with others. You'll not be torn apart; you'll be happy once again. With all this encouragement, you won't have to be down in the hole of despair.

Inflate your dexterity by using your new muscles. Don't be afraid to flex them; this is all well and good. You'll walk like a whole new person. Enjoy it!

Don't forfeit the opportunity, when it's been granted to you, by doing something beyond your wildest dreams or expectations. Try it out. You may discover that you were able to do it better than you thought you could.

Think of all the horsepower inside your body, that's able to pull the weight of confusion, or notions that pull you in all directions, not knowing what you're doing, or even why. It will plow all the dirt underneath the ground, that sludge of despair that wants to undermine all the progress you've made. Put on your shield of strength, endure your special qualities, making you proud enough, so that you don't have to be afraid of the conclusions that jump out at you.

Don't storm the clouds; allow the sunshine to come out. The sunshine will brighten your days with joy and wonderment. Fulfill your destiny, and feel vibrant and alive by doing so. Have the liberty to feel free, like the eagle that flies around in the sky, spreading its wings as far, and as wide as they can go; the peace they feel is amazing. We can feel the same way.

Boredom certainly can be justified when we're jumping to conclusions; your mind develops a pattern, a pattern that's reluctant to find the truth; it doesn't seem to want to budge; it would rather remain stagnant.

Jumping to conclusions, remember, can leave you in a pickle, while conclusion jumpers can leave a bitter taste in the person's mouth. Take out the pickles, and replace them with the calmness and peace that we deserve.


2000 Words

Written by Anna Marie Carlson

Saturday, June 18, 2022