Menacing Tones

MENACING TONES

I must confess I curse and groan,
Each time I hear a mobile phone.
I wonder how we all survived
Before these bloody things arrived.

It doesn’t matter where you go,
Restaurant, cinema, to a show,
On the beach or walking hills,
The air is filled with beeps and trills.

They phone to say “I’m on the train.”
Then when it stops they phone again.
It seems it’s vital information,
To tell the world “I’m at the station.”

“I’m in Asda, there are sandwiches here.
Do you want ham or cheese my dear?”
“I’m on the bus.” “I’m on the plane.”
“I’m in the car.” I’m going insane.

Children no longer use their feet,
To chat with friends along the street.
They stay at home parked on their bums,
Texting with their swollen thumbs.

To be considered really cool,
They need mobiles to take to school.
Their aim to own the latest phone,
Complete with most obnoxious tone.

There is no cure for this addiction,
For the future this is my prediction.
Newborns will arrive I fear,
Complete with mobiles at each ear.

Today I walk in sombre mood,
In search of peace and solitude.
I pass a church along the way,
Step inside and kneel to pray.

Then just as we’re about to sing,
A flaming mobile starts to ring.
But wait, I recognize that tone.
Oh bloody hell! It’s my damned phone.