Power Play

CODE: D (set in the D Is For Damien storyline)

TAKES PLACE DURING (specific story): All scenes NA

PAIRING: Luther Broderick/Selena (M/F)

EXPLANATION: Luther Broderick is a weird high priest of Scorpio in that he has NEVER taken a favorite from among the many available women. I figured it was just about time he finally DO so. The thing is, he didn't like any of them, because none of them had become pregnant by him...go figure. Enter Selena, a Scorpio wannabe (or a kidnap victim, I have yet to decide which--maybe both) who catches his eye...and ends up PREGNANT! Dum-dum-dummmm...! Okay, the dum-dum-dums are getting annoying. After a long enough time spent trying, of course the fact that he finally got somebody pregnant is quite a turn-on for Luther, and for Selena as well, as these scenes show...

DISCLAIMERS: SERIOUS POV problems in "Power Play." In "Strange Diversions," all the wondering about Gregory is kind of silly, seeing as Gregory doesn't watch over Luther's quarters all the time. No date is given for the conception of the baby in "Down To The Day" because this detail has not been figured out yet. Also please notice that these scenes are completely out of order; the chronological order of them would be "Selena's Acceptance," "Down To The Day," "Power Play," "Strange Diversions," I believe.

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Power Play

Luther touched Selena's face, then placed his hand against her belly as he had every time they'd been together for the past seven months. It was round now instead of flat, curving gently beneath his hand, but the smile he got was the same. His eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at her, and she could see what appeared to be greed in them. Greed over what she was finally going to give him, that no one else in Scorpio had. She didn't care if it was greed or not, or whatever he had planned. The baby was his. All that she wanted was to make him happy, and if that was what did it then it was his.

She smiled back, without malice or guile or even a look of seduction. She didn't need to fake that expression as she knew some others had. For about the past year, at least, he didn't care how she looked at him. Neither of them cared much for fakery.

He brought his head down and kissed her. She opened her mouth for him and let him explore, one hand still running along the swell of her belly, down to where it curved over her leg. It was the funniest thing, she could tell it attracted him now. Not her size itself, but the fact that it was his child she was carrying. She took his hand and held it to her, and after a moment it kicked inside.

He stopped kissing her and glanced down as if he could see it; then back up at her face, his grin growing wider. She continued smiling up at him, seeming almost coy without pretense, and trailed his hand up to her breast. His eyes dropped again; she heard his breathing speed up slightly.

"How long?" he asked, though she was certain that he already knew.

"Two months," she said, tracing her fingertips over his. "Then he's yours."

He met her eyes again. "'He'?"

None of them knew what it would be. "I've been hoping for a boy," she said, smiling softly, the dim light shining in her eyes as she looked up at him.

He stared at her for a moment, eyes smoldering, before she knew that he could take it no more and he brought his mouth down, crushing hers, taking her head in his hand and probing at her with his tongue. She locked her fingers behind his neck, unashamedly rubbing against him, not caring about her ungainly shape. It certainly didn't bother him; his breath came sharp and fast now, and he grabbed at the back of her thigh abruptly, his fingers sinking into the fabric of her dress, pulling it up slightly as he likewise pulled up her thigh and pushed against her between her legs, bucking at her once, twice; she could feel him, hard and aroused, hard for her. Yet he didn't make any move to pull off her clothing or his. She instinctively knew why. There were a lot of men reluctant to make love to a pregnant woman showing as much as she was, if only thinking of some harm they might cause, if not the awkwardness of the position. There was no reason why he should be an exception.

She broke away from his kiss and took his hand, leading him slowly over toward the big altar in the middle of the room without seeming to lead him. They reached it and he kissed her again, now gripping her upper arms as he bowed over her, the stand at her back. He was pressing against her again, unconsciously this time, still hard inside his pants. Selena wasn't quite sure if the thumping she heard was her heart or his own, but it didn't matter. As pregnant as she was she wanted to be with him as much as he with her.

She gently pulled away from his kiss again. The light was dimmer over here; she could barely see his face as the light was behind him, at the back of the room, but she could tell that his mouth was slightly open and he was panting. She ran her hands over his shoulders and chest and down his front. He didn't say anything, but she could feel a distinct tightening of his muscles.

"I have a way," she said softly, taking his hand again and moving to the shorter side of the altar so the light was to her left. As he watched she pulled down her bra straps and pulled up her dress just enough to pull her bra and underwear off. She didn't remove the dress; if he wanted to he could. She turned away from him and put her hands on the hard edge of the stand, smiling at him over her shoulder.

He understood. After staring at her for another moment he stepped out of her sight, behind her; she could sense the urgency in the speed of his breath but after she'd heard him unzipping and removing his pants he didn't grab for her. Instead he carefully pulled the dress up over the gentle curve of her buttocks, pulling it around to the front. Selena took it in her hand to keep it out of his way and held onto the altar again. Luther paused to feel her first, running his hands up under the top of her dress to cup her full breasts, even fuller now, heavy with milk. She had the fleeting desire for him to suck them. She didn't ask him to; it might be something he disliked, as she'd learned--not from experience, thankfully--that he disliked being serviced orally. Perhaps he would do so later. Right now there were other things to be done.

He ran his hands back down to her hips; she spread her legs and stood, wide stepped and exposed to him, her belly resting against the edge of the stand, not atop it but not crushed against it either. Luther placed his fingers in the cleft between her buttocks and parted them, stepping closer. Selena couldn't see him but she felt him as he moved close, feeling the heat from his body, as he pushed up, into her, between the two soft mounds of flesh. Selena took in a breath, closing her eyes. She let her head fall, her hair trailing down her back. It didn't matter how many times they had sex together; she would always enjoy him, and he would enjoy her. She never minded him calling her, at any hour on any day, any number of times. This was no exception.

She could hear his breath, modified from its earlier harshness but still rapid and heated; he let go of her buttocks to gently but firmly grasp her hips to steady her, and started moving. He set a steady pace, not too slow or fast, moderate in speed. She mentally thanked him for that. There was a time to be slow and tender, a time to be fast and furious; now was the time for neither. They both felt closer to the latter but there were ways they could show each other their desire without pounding and ramming, swiftly, swiftly, swiftly.

She kept her eyes closed, moving with his steady rhythm, slightly up and forward with his erection filling her, slightly down and back when he drew himself away. She rolled on the balls of her feet and felt the warmth of his hips pressing against her skin behind her. He kept squeezing her hips, firmly on each measured thrust, relaxing on release. Both of them were controlled in their passion. It was something they were both good at, controlling the fires that threatened to rage out of control whenever they were with one another. They didn't always need to control them, nor want to; but for now it was something they must do.

She enjoyed his fullness, the way he murmured throatily without making a sound as he pushed into her.

Outside the room, in the hallway, Gregory was gone, Luther having dismissed him from his post when the thing between him and Selena seemed to become permanent. It was Alicia's chance now. She'd managed earlier to slip away from the common room without anyone noticing, or at least doing anything about it; she trotted silently down the hall toward Luther's rooms, knowing that the two of them would be together right now. She'd noticed with an inner seething how often she'd been called for, until the day she simply wasn't there anymore. Alicia knew what that meant. It meant Selena had either been given free run of the building, or had moved in with him. Either way it had Alicia's insides burning with hate. Luther had never granted her either. True, she could go about the building more freely than most of the other women, but still with a guard walking nearby, and still not into several of the more important areas. And he'd never called her back since the second and last time they'd been together, years ago. He'd had that Psyche slut with him instead. And now this Selena. Alicia's eyes narrowed with spite. Selena could never be as good as she was.

But there was a tiny part inside of her that desperately needed to know just how much the two were getting along. Maybe he'd thrown her out and Selena had been so ashamed that she'd merely pretended to be gone off to his rooms? It was farfetched, but better than what could be happening. Alicia reached the door on the right leading to his room and stopped several feet away, suddenly anxious. What if she did see them together? What would she do then? No--Selena was just a stupid whorish upstart. Alicia bet that the baby she was carrying wasn't even Luther's. It couldn't be because he'd never have called on her that much. Not when Alicia knew that she was so much better. And besides, men didn't go after pregnant women that much, it would be too awkward and even disgusting, and then Selena had better watch herself. Everybody knew Luther had a vicious temper.

Especially Alicia.

She stepped forward and curled her fingers around the doorknob, twisting slowly. It turned; the door wasn't locked. She very, very slowly pulled the door open, just a crack, just enough to peer inside. Before she could see she could hear a slight noise within, steady and rhythmic; she wasn't sure what it was. She paused again and soon realized that it was breathing. Her heart twisted in her chest. It was two people breathing--almost breathing together, in that damn, horribly familiar rhythm. The anxiety welling back up inside her, Alicia stooped as if to avoid being seen and peered timidly inside.

She almost had to let her eyes adjust for a moment; then she saw it, off to the right, the dim light from the back of the room guiding her eyes. Her heart twisted again, jumping up into her throat and stopping her breath. At the edge of the altar--the same altar where Luther had taken her, the first time twice in a row, so long ago--she could see two shapes, two shapes made as one, silhouetted by the light so she couldn't see their features. But she could tell it was them. Selena--the whore--stood next to the stand, her hands holding onto its edge. She leaned over it only slightly, with her head thrown back and her mouth wide open, caught in a silent cry. Luther stood behind her. He had his hands on her hips--holding her firmly in place--as he steadily pumped, swaying his hips up and into her. His head was bent forward. Once he leaned over her back, kissing her neck--and his hand slid up from Selena's thigh to caress her swollen belly, even as it quivered beneath his strong thrusts. The woman gave a soft, breathless moan, almost lost in the greatness of the room. Luther made a noise as well--a soft, deep, closemouthed groan, far back in his throat. The sound was so thick and heavy with pleasure that it stabbed straight into Alicia's chest like a knife.

He was making love to her! To her! Out of everybody he could have, and Alicia, who'd given herself to him so willingly, he'd chosen her. The whore! Alicia's mind cried out in pain. There she was, heavy with child, fat as a pig, and he was making love to her. Alicia felt her heart wailing in agony even as the two inside the room continued moving, swaying, Selena giving as Luther urged himself inside, both of them oblivious to her. She cried out to him in her mind but of course he didn't reply. He was too caught up in her. Just because she'd been able to conceive to give him a child when Alicia hadn't. It didn't matter. Alicia could always please him, any time he wanted her to. How could Selena possibly do that when she was pregnant?

Luther gripped Selena's hips tightly, felt himself full and ready to come; he pushed his own hips forward and up, his final thrust, going full and releasing and spurting inside her. Selena gasped and clutched at the stand, throwing back her head and arching, her belly quivering, marveling and climaxing at his fullness.

Alicia saw him push and let out his breath, his own buttocks contracting, saw the distinct surge of pleasure course through him and also through Selena at his orgasm; she felt the tears welling in her eyes that it had come, he had come so easily with Selena, when it had taken him twice--in front and in behind--to come with her. She hadn't allowed herself to think it was an inability to climax with her rather than pure desire that had motivated his fury and lust. Now she knew it must be the truth. Her chest started hitching silently and the tears spilled down her face; she made no move to close the door. Her vision was a blur but not mercifully enough as she could see him remove himself and step back, catching his breath, Selena letting her dress fall and pushing herself away from the table. She turned to him. He stepped forward to kiss her and they touched. Luther hadn't touched Alicia as much. She remembered all too clearly. He'd never even touched her breasts, as he was doing now, going to the back of the room and laying Selena down on the bed and unbuttoning her dress in front, pulling down one shoulder and drawing out her left breast, fondling it and cupping it full in his hand. Now that they were in the light Alicia could see him smile, could see the whore smile back and murmur something to him, as if in suggestion or encouragement. Luther raised an eyebrow and tipped his head slightly as if in mild pleasant surprise; then he bent down and Alicia was horrified to see him take Selena's breast in his mouth, sucking gently at her fullness as if he were a baby. Selena closed her eyes with a sigh and laid her head back against the pillow, taking Luther's head in her hand as if to guide him. He ran his other hand up her leg, hitching up her dress to bare her thigh; he brought himself over her to lie at her side, and Alicia couldn't tell if he were going to make love to her again or not. He was still naked from the waist down, and as he sucked and touched Selena, her thigh and her belly again, Alicia could clearly see that it was arousing him, could clearly see it in his own stirring and swelling. She backed away from the door at last, jamming her fists to her mouth to stifle an already broken sob.

Selena had gently invited him to suck at one of her breasts, seeing his mild interest on noticing how full and heavy they were. Luther had looked at her and cocked an eyebrow, silently asking if she were sure she wanted that. Selena just smiled back. He'd never thought of taking one in his mouth, not directly; yet merely the suggestion interested him, and the further thought that they were full of milk aroused him even more. She seemed to want it. So he did as she suggested, feeling his lips close around her swollen nipple, and he caressed it with his tongue and sucked gently. The thick, warm, sweet taste of Selena's milk excited him; he slowly pulled up her dress to feel her body, moving to lie beside her, wondering in the back of his head how much they both would enjoy another coupling and then realizing that there was no need to wonder as he was certain that both of them would enjoy it. She could kneel, on the bed, and he could come into her from behind as before. He could feel himself stirring already.

Both of them heard a sharp sound from the doorway. Selena tensed, opening her eyes. Luther did the same and out of the corner of his eye noticed a crack of light where one hadn't been before. Reluctantly, growling in annoyance--Selena immediately stroked his arm as if to reassure him--he drew himself away from her breast, a thin white line of milk trickling from her nipple, which she wiped away. He sat up, and she sat up with him, drawing the front of her dress up to cover herself.

The door was open. Someone was backing away.

Luther felt first surprise, then alarm, then anger. He jumped up from the bed, kicking away the sheets that tried to tangle around his ankle. Selena grabbed one and pulled it up to herself and watched him go. He stalked across the room rapidly, fury rising in his chest and burning in his eyes. When he reached the door he pushed it open so hard that it flew outwards and banged against the wall. Alicia gasped and backed away, into the opposite wall, cringing and balling her hands up in front of her face. She could almost feel the sharp sting from the last time he'd struck her.

Luther gaped at her for just a second before his expression turned back into one of rage. He snarled through his teeth and stormed toward her, swiping one hand away from her face. Alicia sobbed out loud and brought it back up to shield herself, then dropped them both, knowing that it would just anger him further--if that were possible--and crying hard, her shoulders shaking. He wasn't making any move to cover himself but the sight didn't excite her now. She was too far gone for that to happen.

Luther bared his teeth. "Filthy bitch!" he snarled, raising one hand abruptly as if to strike her. Alicia cringed and cried harder but didn't cover her face. He stopped his arm in its upward arc without hitting her, and instead grabbed her wrist and yanked on it viciously.

Alicia grimaced in pain, still sobbing. Please, rape me, rape me, please, she was thinking; as insane as it sounded it was the only thing she wanted right now, nothing was worse than this. But Luther let go of her hand, shoving her shoulder roughly so she bumped against the wall. "Git! Go!" he shouted, flinging one arm out to point down the hall, back in the direction of the common room, a fate worse than death. Rejection. That was all it was. It was the worst thing he could do to her. Racked with sobs, her eyes running and red, Alicia turned from him, rubbing her hurt wrist, and walked away, her piteous cries echoing down the hall.

Luther whirled away and back into his room, slamming the door behind him. He stormed over to the altar and placed his hands down on it, as if resting, for a moment; then he turned and knocked a shelf from the wall with one furious blow. Selena, still sitting on the bed, flinched as objects went flying, striking the floor and breaking. Some flat round object which she couldn't recognize rolled to the edge of the bed before falling over. She stared at it for a moment before looking back up at him. He was leaning over the altar again, his head hanging, still fuming. It was as if he'd forgotten that she was there.

She quietly got up, leaving the sheet behind, and went over to him. Even as she reached him she could make out the tight line of his jaw, the rage that still lay just beneath the surface, ready to strike. She'd seen the whole thing in the hall and was mildly surprised that he hadn't hit Alicia for spying. She knew of his temper also. Gregory had told her, and had also told her it was best not to deal with him when he was in a bad mood, unless she liked being bruised. She didn't care what Gregory said, though. She reached out a hand and gripped his shoulder hard, kneading with her fingers, trying to loosen his tensed muscles. Maybe he would have smacked anyone else. But she wasn't anyone else.

He closed his eyes and sighed, a sharp, irritated sigh. Selena reached out to massage both of his shoulders. It didn't take too long for his breathing to slow, for the tightness of his muscles to ease beneath her fingertips. She smiled slightly to herself.

"Come back to bed," she murmured, touching her lips to his shoulder. He kept his eyes closed, his breathing slow and rhythmic. "Forget about her."

"The stupid bitch thinks I have something for her," he muttered.

"I know you don't." She picked up his hand and brushed his fingers against her lips. "Come back to bed. We can get on with what we were doing."

She could tell that he'd definitely lost the mood. That wasn't a problem. She'd dealt with that before. "Come on," she coaxed, tugging on his hand. He sighed again, though not as annoyed as before, and allowed himself to be led back to the bed, its sheets still tangled. She lay down on the pillows and pulled him along with her, though he stopped her, just so he didn't lie on top and crush against her belly; but he brought himself down at her side as he had before. He still seemed upset about what had happened; Selena caressed his hip and moved against him, undoing her dress and again bringing out her milk-heavy breast. He at least pretended not to be too interested.

"Come on," she murmured, sitting up slightly to nuzzle him, lying back and drawing him down. "I know you liked it before. Come on and taste it. Suck at it. Suck at it until you're full."

Now, a definite increase in his breath. He'd caught the double meaning of her words. He slowly pulled up her dress as he had before, running his fingers over her warm skin, indeed growing full and hard again for her. She smiled to herself again, completely without guile; already he was forgetting the unpleasant incident out in the hall. She wondered if he planned on taking her from behind kneeling on the bed, or standing as they had before. Either way, they were both certain to be satisfied and in a good humor when they were done.

Luther brought himself over her this time, gently pressing her back into the pillows and straddling her hips, his hands still working at pulling up her dress. He pushed it up over her belly and looked down at her. Where he crouched close to her Selena felt his hardness, rubbing against her lower belly; he grinned at her as he had before and reached to undo the rest of the buttons on her dress.

"I want to see all of you," he said; Selena finished unbuttoning and pulled it free so she was completely exposed to him, breasts still hanging full and heavy, almost pendulous. She smiled at him.

"Could I see you?"

His grin deepened; he removed the rest of his own clothing and sat up over her, the light just up over and behind his head silhouetting him. Selena's breath sped up now, seeing him crouched over her like that on his haunches, member thrusting out full and hard. She could feel the heat coming off of him. He leaned forward and down to kiss her, his mouth running over her neck, down and sucking the sweet milk from her breast again.

She closed her eyes and smiled rapturously. Luther let go and sat up again, panting softly. "Turn over and put your hands up on the headboard," he said, a slight breathless tone to his voice; she did as he said, bending over so she would have been on all fours had she not been holding the headboard. She parted her knees without having to be told and arched her back a little to accommodate him. Luther didn't say anything but silently appreciated her compliance. He'd never chosen a favorite from any of the women before, but was glad that he'd done so with Selena. With her he could even forget about Psyche, now that she was giving him something no one else had before. That was what really mattered, in the end.

He spread her buttocks and pushed in the second time, feeling his muscles and his own buttocks tighten with the deep stroke, Selena's warm curves and folds enveloping him. He let out his breath. At first he bent forward and gripped her shoulders, as he'd done earlier, and started pushing, moving in a moderate, steady thrust. Other than his heavy breathing--growing more strained by the moment--he said nothing to her. He studied the warm even tan of her back, the slender line of her spine and the curve of her buttocks as they met his thrusting hips, until the heat built up in him so much that he had to close his eyes to maintain control. He could still see her there. His teeth clenched together as he pushed. His muscles tightened, relaxed. Tightened and relaxed.

And he had to feel her again. His fingers were sinking into her shoulders. He ran them down and underneath her arms, over her swaying breasts; he heard her sigh or let out her own breath, he couldn't tell which; then they came to her full, swollen belly, and he found what he needed. He caressed it, his hands moving in circular patterns over her smooth skin. He sped up slightly. Selena was heavy and pregnant, due very soon, just two more months; and it was his child, his child she was carrying, his child that filled her up so round and full, quivering as he rocked against her, into her, as he must have done the night he'd impregnated her, whenever that was; he wouldn't ever be able to tell as they made love so often, but some night seven months ago he'd been inside her, just as he was now, pumping slowly or steadily or maybe even furiously--their kisses and caresses tender, measured, or frenzied and lustful with sharp aching need, and he had come and she had come, perhaps gasping, perhaps crying out as his seed poured forth into her, one taking root to become what it was now. His. His child.

It excited him, aroused him further; he grasped gently at her belly and groaned, pumping faster. Selena gasped and gave a small cry, her head falling back. He was going faster than they had the first time; then both of them had silently agreed that moderate was the best way to go, but now they could tell that moderate wouldn't be nearly enough. He told himself to be careful of how he grabbed at her and how hard he pushed before he let go, moving into a quick, steady, deeply rocking thrust, pushing up high and deep, swiveling down and low, up high and full again. Selena cried out louder this time and arched. Luther panted hard and clutched her belly with each thrust, letting out a long, throaty growl-groan, pleasure deep in his voice and in his body. He'd never get tired of Selena.

Selena could tell that her girth pleased him. Pleased him because he was the cause; she was sure that this sign of his virility after so many nonstarters with the other women definitely pleased him. Probably had given him the first erection he'd had tonight in the first place. She was happy that she could do it for him. She was happy with the deep, pleasured sound he let out, the satisfaction that she'd done him well for once. Sex was good enough if you were a favorite. Bearing a child was even better. Bearing the first child was the best she could hope to do for him.

Except to keep pleasing him, as she was now. She moaned at his touch, arched herself to allow him further entry, which he immediately took advantage of, pushing himself inside her to the hilt, hips straining and eager to go further. He came and spurted with a jerk and a sharp bark that was almost triumphant; Selena cried out again and contracted around him, accepting his fluid, leaving him slick with her own as he pulled out.

There might have been times when the two of them were furious and frantic in their lovemaking, but he was never violent with her. After he'd removed himself she felt him take hold of her arms and allowed him to pull her away from the headboard, turning her and laying her back down on the pillows again, panting softly, her skin glowing with a mild sheen. He still leaned over her, his breath rasping softly in his own throat, and kissed her almost tenderly. She smiled slightly as he pulled away, lying beside her, against the wall, propping up his head with one hand and running the other up and down her sweaty body, especially her belly.

"You've been hoping for a son?" he asked, his voice quiet. The light was still up above him, casting half of his face into shadow and putting a glitter in his eyes. Selena continued smiling.

"I know how much you want one." She reached out and carefully traced a finger along his member; he didn't move away or appear to be upset by it, so she supposed that at least touching him that way was all right. She caressed him gently.

"You're good enough for me even without that. I hope you like your new space." He nuzzled against her neck, closing his eyes and breathing in the scent of her hair, cascading dark over her shoulder. The two of them were such complete opposites in looks; he being tall and blond with icy blue eyes, she shorter, her skin and hair and eyes dark. She didn't know if her exotic looks had anything to do with his attraction. Perhaps they did.

She knew that he was speaking of her new quarters, the room she'd been given once she'd been informally relegated to the status of high priest's favorite. "I do," she said, truly meaning it. It was certainly better than living in the common room with all of those other women. The common room was a dreadful place. No on there was happy. She supposed that she understood Alicia's shame at being sent back there when dwelling in the common room usually meant you were next to nothing. Most of the women in Scorpio, even those in higher positions, had to live with others, even if not in the common room, usually with some kind of guard nearby to keep an eye on their steps. She couldn't think of any females with full, unguarded run of the place.

That was why his next statement surprised her. "I've removed Gregory from the door when you're here," he said, still nuzzling her neck. "I hope you know why."

She nodded, careful not to nudge him, and stroked his face. "I don't think you need him out there when he's not going to see me back to the common room."

"That's right." Luther moved his body closer, placing one leg over hers, rubbing against her and continuing to kiss her neck. He moved down to her chest, kissing her everywhere, sucking gently at her breasts without taking the nipple in his mouth. She closed her eyes and sighed. He curled his fingers in the hair between her legs, rubbing at her, feeling her moisture.

"The guard will be removed from your door too," he murmured, lightly raking her skin with his fingers as his mouth moved over her.

Selena's eyes opened immediately. "He will?" she blurted out, before even thinking about it.

Luther nodded, too lost in exploring her body to notice her reaction. "I'll instruct Gregory to notify the others. The whole compound's yours to wander around. I'll trust you enough not to run off. You can go wherever you like. You can go out whenever you like, too. I'll tell them that. You're free to come and go as you choose."

She continued staring at him in disbelief. He finally lifted his head and kissed her chin, up to her cheek. She was too surprised to find any great pleasure in it. "Why?" she finally asked.

"I want us to be equals." He stopped kissing her and looked her in the eyes, his own eyes burning with something she hadn't seen before. "I lead Scorpio," he said, his voice low. He smiled and traced the edge of her face. "I want you to lead with me. As high priestess."

Selena couldn't believe what she was hearing. She'd never even heard of this before. Never! There'd been women in Scorpio with power, it was true, but the only real power they'd had was sexual power over the men in order to procure favors for themselves, such as more freedom. Never total freedom. And certainly never leadership.

"Can anybody really do that?" she whispered, dazed.

His smile grew wider, and she finally recognized the look in his eyes. It was power and control. Something she had seen before. But it wasn't power over her for once. It was with her.

"I can," he replied.

He bent, kissed her again, his lips moving a little more than before, sucking and teasing at her skin. "But why me?" she asked, her heartbeat speeding up. She had to take a breath, his kiss felt like fire.

"Because you're the only one worth it. Alicia's useless. So are the others. Good for raising their own children. Not mine. If any of them had ever had children by me I'd've had them taken away and had Gregory find someone to raise them. Not that they ever did." He snorted slightly; Selena sensed that he was telling her a lot more than he'd ever told anyone else in Scorpio. Anyone else period.

"But you, you're giving me something special...something right here." He caressed her full belly and grinned at her again. "None of the others have."

"There was some woman I heard of, another one who had a son..."

"She was outside us. A nonbeliever. Worthless. That baby would have ended up dead if we'd had the chance to get him." Selena shuddered slightly, but it wasn't out of any pity for the boy. Like she already knew, Luther's children were Luther's to do with as he pleased. He ran his hand over the curving mound and the greed came back into his eyes. "But this is different. This one will live. Whether it's a male or a female. Its upbringing is your choice. And when it grows up, it'll take my place when I'm gone."

Hereditary high priests? That was another thing not in Scorpio's tenets. High priest was always the person who managed to kill the preceding high priest. Even in her short time in the cult she'd never heard of a second-generation leader.

Or a high priestess, for that matter!

But the mere thought of all the power he was instilling in her--the freedom, the leadership, their child taking control of Scorpio--sent shivers through her. Yes, power was a good thing. Especially their power together. She found herself believing that she would be a good match for him after all.

He was sliding over her, raining kisses, straddling her again. All of this conversation could have been the sex talking, but she doubted it. He wasn't that misguided. He really must trust and respect her enough.

Leader, she thought. High priestess.

"Wait," she said. He stopped the slow, repetitive rubbing motion that he'd started against her, in an attempt to calm the fire raging up inside him and making him hard again. Selena pushed the pillows aside and squirmed down to lie flat on her back before bending her knees upward and spreading them wide, opening herself for him.

"You're not tired?" he asked; evidently he'd avoided turning her over to enter her again as they spoke out of the belief that she was too exhausted to go at it a third time.

The position was a little awkward, she knew. "You'll have to sit up," she told him. "Junior would get in the way."

He laughed softly. She knew inside he was hoping that the joke was true. A son would be much better than a daughter. Especially if that son would one day lead Scorpio in his father's footsteps. Luther parted her knees wider and sat down upon the bed between them, bringing himself into position just before her, his own legs bent out at her sides, underneath her own. He pushed himself forward with his hands to penetrate her and thrust into her sitting upright, bending over against her swollen belly as he pushed, grasping at her buttocks to facilitate his movements, in effect pulling himself in through her. Selena sighed again, shut her eyes, arched her neck, enjoying Luther's strong warm throbbing, even the third time; yes, he was just right for her, and as he was thinking as he pushed, panting hard again, moving back and forth with her snug and juicy around him, she was just right for him. Not afraid like Psyche had been. Not stupid and selfish like Alicia. Not useless like the rest.

This time when he climaxed, Selena made sure to scream out her pleasure at her own orgasm, hearing joyfully his own triumphant shout echoing with hers, high priest and high priestess merging as one in a single glorious moment. And later in the night when she awoke on her side, her sweat long since cooled, to find Luther also asleep with his arm around her, resting against her full, round belly, she sighed in contentment, took his hand in hers, and drifted back to sleep with him breathing softly at her neck.

Strange Diversions

She was glad that he called for her. It had been a while, what with her recovery; but she'd been exercising herself for when he'd call again, flattening her stomach, bringing herself back into shape. It had taken a surprisingly short time. She supposed that another reason for the wait was her duty to take care of the baby, but now she had others who could do that for her while she was busy. Right now there were other very important matters she must attend to.

As soon as she entered Luther stepped forward and gave her a greeting kiss, his tongue darting quickly and possessively inside her mouth, evidently as glad to see her as she was him. Selena accepted and welcomed him, placing her arms over his shoulders. He picked her up and carried her back to his bed. There they shed their clothes and immediately reached for each other. Their fiery kisses were proof of the time they'd spent apart, of the impending release of their built-up frustration with the lack of satisfaction they'd both felt night after night. Selena had once tried to satisfy herself alone, prodding gently and uncertainly with her fingers, only to find that not only would it fail to work, but that she didn't quite know how to go about doing it. She didn't know that Luther had also tried it that way, stroking and squeezing himself until he came, but without the same pleasure; he'd turned to sex with the other women, even doing something he'd never done before, trying two at a time, coupling with one, the other giggling so much as he mouthed her that he finally felt like just slapping her to make her shut up. The positions had been awkward, and they'd had to struggle to get him to come; when it was over the two had gathered their tossed clothes and quietly, nervously slipped out without being told, sensing his foul mood. Right then he'd decided that he'd wait for Selena.

He took the time to ready her a little, kissing her and stroking her breasts and hips, though she could tell that he could barely hold it in. When he was ready she allowed him to take control, pressing her back onto the bed, moving away from her toward her legs. She didn't mind him trying any different positions; pleasure was pleasure. Especially with him. She simply lay still and waited for him to do what he would.

Kneeling beside her--she could hear him panting--he parted her legs and brought himself down to sit between them, then lifted Selena's lower body, grasping her buttocks for support and shifting himself forward, forward, in-- At the penetration, so sweet, after so long, Selena took in a breath and heard Luther let out a small guttural noise, shutting his eyes and savoring it for a moment. If he hadn't been completely hard earlier he swelled even more now; Selena thought she could feel it. He settled himself and, taking her legs, draped them over his shoulders so she lay flat on her back with her seat in his lap and Luther full inside her. She arched a little, her breasts rising and her fingers sinking into the bedcovers.

Luther leaned forward to clutch her breasts. His breath was hot and quick. His eyes raked lustfully over her body.

"Your belly is almost flat," he panted, eyeing it with some surprise. He ran one finger down her smooth skin.

"I've been exercising," Selena replied. "Bringing myself back so--" She gasped, arching again; Luther had resumed his hold on her breasts and started swiveling his hips a little rapidly, grinding into her. "So we could enjoy this more."

"I would have enjoyed it any way at least if it's with you," he panted. She knew that it wasn't a compliment, or an insult, or anything of the kind; they both knew it to be the truth. The only reason why he'd been with the other women during her absence was to try to relieve the burning desire for her that had been welling up in him over the weeks. Of course it had been futile.

She couldn't think of anything to say to that, just squinted her eyes shut and moved with the rhythm of his thrusting. He'd started out fast this time; evidently he wasn't patient enough to go slowly, not after such a wait. She didn't care. It just meant that the act itself would be shorter. And he was almost always one to go for seconds.

"He's doing all right?" Luther asked. Selena opened her eyes to watch him move over her, up and down, his eyes almost burning. The look he got when in the throes of lovemaking was almost the same as the one he got when he was starting to get angry. Selena knew the difference. Sometimes it was slight. That was one good reason never to cross him. She'd never given him reason so far to get angry.

"Gregory--" She tried to catch her breath. "Gregory found someone--someone to take care of him while I'm--while I'm out. He's grow--he's growing well. He takes--he takes after you."

That had evidently been the right thing to say; he got a pleased look in his eyes and bent down to run his tongue over her belly. She remembered how not too long ago the two of them had made love, she still pregnant, the belly that was now almost flat then full and round and heavy with child, her breasts bearing their milk early enough for Luther to suck it, how first they had stood at the altar and he'd coupled with her from behind, then upon his bed, with her bending over and him again pumping into her, panting over the back of her neck and fondling her breasts, and then a glorious third time, she now as high priestess, lying flat on her back as she was now with him moving between her legs, both striving to satisfy a desire so deep that it could never be completely sated. She remembered with a smile the sound that they had both let out as they climaxed; she was certain that others in the compound had heard them cry out together, and wondered how Gregory felt if he'd heard it. For some reason she found herself thinking about what he would have felt.

"You're thinking about something." Luther's voice, deep and rasping in his throat, brought her back. His fingers were kneading her breasts; she could tell that he wished they were still heavy and full of milk that he could suck, but their size was good enough, and she was snug enough between the legs for him. She sighed and stretched a little, bringing her legs a little closer together, so that he almost gasped--but not quite. He managed to control himself that much.

She decided to tell him truthfully. "I was wondering what Gregory--" she cried out, he squeezing her hips a bit, resituating himself, resuming his rocking motion "--what Gregory must have been thinking when he heard us yell last time."

She wasn't sure if the revelation that she'd been thinking about someone else would anger him or not; she'd simply been betting on her influence with him that he wouldn't take it out on her face. His eyes narrowed a bit, and she held her tongue. Then a smile crept up his face and he grunted and moved faster.

"Been thinking about Gregory?"

"Only what he was thinking. I wonder if he was jealous or not." She laughed silently, shaking against him. She still wasn't sure if his question was a good or a bad sign.

"He has every right to be. After all, he's out there, and you're in here with me." He shut his eyes, bending over her, letting out a forced noise that was half grunt, half groan, pushing into her hard. Selena's legs reflexively clasped against his shoulders.

"Have you thought about being with him?"

She opened her eyes again to look at him closely. This didn't sound like a good question. Yet she could detect no guile in his eyes, just that mix of greed and lust and sneering humor that he got so often when they were together. She paused, not knowing how to safely answer.

"Not really," she finally said, keeping her voice moderate.

"It could be a learning experience." His smile grew even craftier.

Selena tried not to frown. "I don't see what you're getting at."

He paused to swivel a little faster; his fingers sank so deep into her hips that she winced. She didn't know if that was threat or passion. He leaned over her, closer, his breath fanning hot over her face. His hips still moved as he spoke, a subdued, rapid pulsing motion. His legs squeezed tight on both sides of her hips.

"Don't tell me you've never really thought of being with him? Of being alone with him, doing what we're doing now?"

She shook her head. "I never did, really."

He paused, seemed to accept her statement as truth. "He's been here a long time, even before me. Has pretty much his pick of anyone he wants. Except you, of course. He'd never try anything like that. I've made sure of it." He shut his eyes, snarled and thrust; the motion was so abrupt that Selena gasped in surprise. Luther panted and waited for the flow of his fluid to stop, pulled himself out of her, put her legs aside and brought himself up on his hands so he hovered over her while she still lay on her back. He stroked her breast, her neck; took her shoulder and turned her onto her right side, lay down behind her. He continued talking as he stroked her arm and nuzzled against her neck, lifting one of his own legs to drape it over hers.

"He hasn't chosen anyone, though." Selena lay very still as for a while he caressed her and murmured into her ear. She couldn't see the look on his face now unless she turned her head, and that would entail disturbing him, so she didn't move and said nothing. "I heard there was someone he spent a few times with, before I got here, but there was a little problem with her and us; not that he was committed to her, of course."

"Of course," Selena said, and gasped again. Luther let go of her buttocks and started pushing slowly this time. He touched her in front, trailing his fingers over her mound, reaching further to splay her wider as he thrust. He murmured again and traced his fingernails over her breasts.

"But he hasn't shown much interest in anyone else," he went on, a slight breathless note to his voice. "I'm starting to believe he's too morally upright for his own good. He could have anybody in the common room, any other woman walking around in here, whether she wants him or not. He could always have one called to his room, even have one brought to him and held down till he's done if that's the kind of thing he likes. There's every kind in here. Some of them even fake not liking it. He's just never taken the initiative."

"What are you saying we should do?" Selena asked, still keeping her voice carefully neutral. She closed her eyes and tried to enjoy the slow rhythm of him pressing against her, the fullness between and inside her.

Luther touched her face and spoke quietly in her ear. "What I'm saying is that you go to see him. Any time you feel like it. Talk with him. Ask him why--why he hasn't chosen anyone yet. Offer him a choice. Offer him yourself, and see just what he thinks."

She opened her eyes now. No, this wasn't sounding good. She turned her head a little to see him, but again there was no duplicity there. He truly meant what he was saying. She couldn't believe it.

"What if he accepts?" she asked after a moment, feeling the slow warn run of his tongue along the side of her neck.

"Then he fails the test, and we can both decide what he deserves for it." He gently scored her nape with his teeth.

"And what if he refuses?" She wasn't sure if she wanted to know.

He smiled at her and touched her face again. "Then he passes the test, and I'll offer him whatever he just happens to most want." She wasn't sure how Luther would know exactly what Gregory most wanted, until he added, "If you feel like going along, that is."

She paused again. There was something genuinely weird about this offer. Gregory accepted, he lost; Gregory refused, he won. Her. She couldn't help but think that Luther had concocted this all as some strange diversion to pass the time rather than as an actual test of loyalty on Gregory's part. Yet she found herself oddly intrigued.

She weighed the possibility that this could actually be a test for her; found the possibility negligible, and smiled at him over her shoulder.

"Sounds like fun."

He grinned back and kissed her neck. She turned her head around again and sighed, feeling his throbbing, thrusting motion increase, his breathing quicken and heat up. He stopped kissing her now, clutching her hips and focusing on pushing, pushing, each time just a little deeper, a little further. Selena wanted to stroke him.

"You have your choice too, you know," he panted, his voice thick. "Not just him. Not just me. You have your choice of anyone you want, anyone you might see and think about later on in bed. Anyone you might think about now. Any other man you see around here you can take with you for the night. Or any other woman, if you choose." His grin grew, his eyes narrow. "Whichever way, and with whoever you want it. Wherever you want it. However you want it. Whenever you want it, just as long as it's not while I'm with you." His words were liberal, but she could detect a faint menace in the way that he spoke the last five. She struggled to understand.

He's saying that, as high priestess, I have every freedom he now has. My choice of whoever I wish to have sex with. Man or woman. Whenever and wherever I want to do it. Just as long as he's not around to see it or know that it's happening.

His words revealed a little bit more about himself to her. So he's not a voyeur type, is he? Too bad; I bet I could have turned him on that way.

She shivered against him and tipped her head. "I appreciate the offer. I'll think about it. Though not quite as much as I'm thinking about you." She stroked his thigh, over her leg, as she said this, and arched to prove that her desire was genuine, not just a tool for favors. Though it could come in handy that way.

She heard him give a low, guttural laugh. "At least I know you're not lying there. Only let me know before you decide to go off and see Gregory."

"Any time you like, I'll be ready."

"Stay here with me tonight. Leave the boy with his caretakers. I'm sure Gregory chose the right ones. You can go along and see him tomorrow night. If he refuses, tell him I sent you. Anything after he first refuses is his for the taking."

She nodded; gasped and moaned. Luther growled; at her whimper for more he pushed rapidly, furiously, almost harshly; yet after all of the talk and dragging on she welcomed the fury with which he made love to her. Some time along the way, she allowed him to roll her over onto her stomach to complete the act, riding her in a frenzy and snarling savagely, the bed shaking. She wished that she had a mirror, even if he wasn't the watching type, so she could see how they ended up, Luther sitting upright atop her thighs and digging into her buttocks with his fingers, digging into her with his member, swollen, thick, pounding hard, she lying prone beneath him, motionless, moaning out loud at his harsh animal groans. When he came and spurted into her a second time, she cried muffled into the mattress, and heard him shriek in triumph over her; and she wondered what Gregory thought.

Down To The Day

Selena looked at him closely. "So you can tell me when my baby was conceived?"

He nodded. "Probably right down to the day."

"When would it have been?" She was curious.

He glanced at the calendar and the birth records he'd filled in. "I'd say...around May ___."

She remembered that day. As incredibly as it was, she remembered. It had been just after a large ceremony, and Luther had had her called to his room. She'd known that he'd be ready to couple with her; it was what he usually called her for, and she knew the kinds of feelings an important ceremony could bring up. She'd felt them too.

They'd already made love before then, several times; yet this night it was as if both of them had sensed something different, a slight excitement that was greater than usual. She'd entered his room; he'd taken her hand and led her directly to the wall, pressing her against it. She'd stood still while he pulled up her robe and removed her underwear, unzipping and pulling down his own pants. She knew that he hadn't taken them off, had only let them fall to his knees; his husky breathing had been enough to prove how ready and impatient he was. He'd parted her buttocks, felt for her opening, and thrust himself in.

She'd nearly broken her fingernails gouging them into the wall as Luther pushed into her, his hips rotating. He said nothing but his breath hissed in his throat and his fingers clutched her own hips tightly. She felt his skin press warm against her, over and over; she shivered and imagined the two of them as animals rutting in the woods. But only briefly. Knowing that the high priest himself was making love to her was aphrodisiac enough.

He thrust hard, insistent, pushing her hips to the wall. She gasped. He still didn't speak but pressed his face close to her neck as he moved. His rapid breaths warmed her; a slight grunt that he let out sent shivers through her body. She found that she'd liked it.

"Come on," she'd whispered softly, tilting back her head. "Make noises for me."

He grunted again, forcefully. Again she gasped and arched. His fingers sank into her skin; soon, the faster he moved, the noisier the two of them became, she gasping and crying out, he panting, groaning, and growling, letting out thick, guttural grunts with each thrust, sounds which quickly became more desperate.

He hadn't finished with her at the wall. Still inside her, he'd moved to the altar and pressed her over it, his hips quivering against her. She took it as a sign now; it must have been because they'd moved to the altar to finish the act that she'd conceived for him. They were like two animals now, his motions pushing her into the stone almost jerkily. He thrust into her quicker, quicker, his breath hard, his bare legs pressing on hers; his thighs squeezed her tightly as he came, letting out a sharp noise and clutching her breasts, still under the robe. She'd gasped and arched, baring her back. Yes, she'd had the feeling that there was something special about the warm flow of his seed this time, something different from before. She should have known that was the time. It still made her hot thinking about it.

Selena's Acceptance

Selena's eyes followed him as he approached her in the dimness. He still wore his robe and the goat mask, so she couldn't see his face or his eyes. He reached her, only inches away, and the empty hollow eyes of the mask stared down at her. She stared back up.

He reached up and touched her face with his hand, palm flat to her skin. She blinked once but remained composed. His fingers slowly trailed down to her neck, and then her collarbone, and she could almost hear him smile.

"Your heart is racing. You are nervous here?"

She shook her head, once. "No, Sir."

Now she could see his mouth beneath the mask, and he did smile.

"You wished to be let in here. Now you have." He leaned down to her and she gasped softly and shut her eyes when she felt his tongue, his lips, pressing to her neck. His hand cupped her nape in a possessive gesture.

"You do realize what the Acceptance is," he whispered huskily, "do you not?"

"I...I'm not certain, Sir..."

"Basically, it means I make you mine. I don't do this very often." His kiss moved to her throat. "Yet it's about time I did it again." Now to her collarbone, tongue tracing. His hand slid down her shoulder, grasping her arm.

"I take you on that altar"--she turned her eyes to see the small tablelike altar behind her--"however I want to. And you submit. This is the Acceptance. You want it, or you don't."

Selena trembled. Both of his hands grasped her now and she felt him steering her back. He reached beneath her to grasp her buttock, and he lifted her leg. His fingers dug into her skin.

"However I want to," he whispered again, and turned her around, pressing her down over the altar. Selena sucked in a surprised breath. She felt his hands on her legs and turned her head to notice that a large mirror stood off to the side, reflecting them. He was pulling up her robe in back, over her hips, still wearing the goat mask, which for some reason she found attractive. He started to pull up his own robe, and she gave a soft gasp and turned away on seeing the thick long member ringed with golden hair, slowly rising between his legs.

A low chuckle. "You like what you see? I put that there, just for this." A nuzzle to her neck, a breathy voice at her ear.

"I accept you, Selena."

A searing, throbbing, pushing feeling. He had parted her buttocks and pushed himself up into her. In the mirror he stood, back straight, clutching her hips and panting down at her as his buttocks and hers trembled. Selena shook hard, whimpering; his breath came thick and husky over her shoulder as he began to plunge, the two of them rocking in tempo, Selena crying out, voice throaty with passion.

"You like...?"

"Oh...y...yes...oh..."

He was driving her wild inside! The hot slick movement of his member deep within her made hot shivers course up and down her body. His fingers dug into her skin; he leaned over and his teeth bit at her nape. When she arched and tightened her buttocks against him, she sensed his heightened pleasure, in the way that his hands slid up to cup her breasts, then to caress her neck, then to pull at her hair, gently forcing her head back as he rocked. She peered between his fingers. He pumped into her, standing straight with his head fallen back, his hands upon her cheeks, she tightening as he tightened, loosening as he loosened. Oh God, she loved this.

As the time began to go by, he only increased his tempo, to end up plunging into her with repeated grunts of lust, squeezing her shoulders on climax, her own voice wailing throughout the room. His seed spurted hard and strong; she sank against the altar, panting. It seemed that she had hardly rested when he whirled her around and bent her over it again, this time facing her, his tongue inserting in her mouth for a deep kiss. He played with her breasts for a moment before viciously ripping open her robe with a rending of cloth. She gasped but didn't move.

His lips pressed close to her ear. "You'd like it again?" he whispered, and she sensed that it was not a question, but a command. She shivered and let her head fall back so his tongue ran along her neck. Fingers slid rapidly down her chest to her bared belly and over her thighs; her muscles tightened. They slipped up underneath her and then inside, pinching and pushing. Selena cried out.

"You like it...?"

Gasping for breath, she nodded. Her body arched to his touches and silently begged for his entry. His fingers sank into her buttock and drew her leg up again.

"Up. Around me."

She obeyed, lifting her legs and wrapping them around his waist. One hand played over her moist opening, rubbing at her clitoris so she gave a silent shriek. She felt his fingers again, slipping in on both sides of her to open her up. Her juices leaked from inside her and she moaned.

"Ready or not," he whispered, and, grabbing her hips, thrust forward. Selena bucked, ribs heaving and hair trailing down to the altar. Her thighs squeezed him tightly with each push, and she savored the slight sounds he let out as he moved, his heavy breath indicating a lust which aroused her like nothing else. He still wore the mask, and when she looked up at him through glazed eyes she saw the strange goat's face peering back down, only amplifying his sounds of pleasure. His shoulders moved as his hands kept her separated. His hips pumped, neither slowly nor rapidly. His chest rose and fell.

Selena moaned and ran her hands up over herself, up along her belly and to her breasts, and then squeezed. Her moan grew louder. She saw him start a bit, unexpectedly, then heard his low chuckle. He hadn't expected her behavior, yet he'd certainly appreciated it.

"Go on...do that again."

Selena's moist lips parted in a slight smile. She shut her eyes and tossed her head and again her hands ran up and down her own body, back arching and robe falling back to expose all of her. She rode him as he thrust. Her fingers fluttered down over the dark patch between her legs, gently rubbing at the wet swollen pudenda, lightly raking over his own crotch as he moved. She felt him jerk, but knew that the motion had been caused by pleasure. When she was able she reached beneath herself to squeeze his testicles and his growl told her that he liked that as well. His climax several moments later only further proved all that she already knew. She bared her neck, head falling and muscles tightening when she felt his seed. Oh, he was good.

It was actually she who initiated what came next. She could tell that he had intended nothing else after their second heated coupling, but when he parted from her, she pressed her body against him, letting her torn robe fall from her shoulders and to the floor so she stood naked before him. Her fingers upon his breast and gently rubbing his penis told him what she wanted, as well as did the coy smile upon her face. She heard his breath coming shallowly yet quickly, behind the mask.

It was rare that the high priest allowed a woman to make the final decision regarding the Acceptance. Yet Selena was convincing enough. He quickly pulled the robe from his shoulders and let it fall. Selena laughed silently at the sight of his lean naked body, and pressed her lips to his nipple as he bit lightly at her neck. She smiled as he picked her up and carried her not to the altar but to his much more comfortable and convenient bed.

As he parted her legs for his impatient third entry, slick hard shaft aiming cleanly for her hot trembling mound, she only smiled again, arms around him, and waited for her Acceptance.

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This item is not looking for critique. It was written solely for entertainment's sake. Although a scene from a possibly longer story, it is complete in itself and unless otherwise stated there is not going to be any more of it written. Additional unrelated SCENES may be written, but single scenes themselves are complete as they are. So please do not expect more. If you are interested in reading the series which INSPIRED the scene, just look elsewhere in my portfolio and you should find something. (Use the "story codes" given in the scene headers. For example, "MI" = "Manitou Island" series.)

I am not looking for critique on grammar, spelling, style, sentence structure, flow, or the mechanics of writing. What I AM interested in is commentary on such things as characterization, plot, symbolism, theme, etc.--the deeper aspects of the story. I like to know if a scene is believable, if the characters are interesting, what you thought of how they interacted, if the writing evoked any emotions, things such as that.

Feel free to criticize, but just keep in mind that I'm working on more important projects and shared this just for fun and/or to illustrate character interactions, so I don't plan to revise it any time soon. Comments on the characters, theme, etc. are more than welcome.