Arnie the Washer

Arnie the Washer

Today
         So, I’ve never been what most people would consider likeable. I mean, my wife loves me. Or she tolerates me anyway. Actually she really seems as antagonistic as everyone else in the complex.
         Well, as antagonistic as they all were until today. Everything has changed now and it is all because of my new best friend. But I should bring you up to speed. It all started five days ago.

Last Sunday
         “What’s wrong with you?” Tammy yelled at me. “You’re such a screw-up!” I just stood there taking the verbal assault the same way I always did. My wife was mad because of a little incident from earlier.
         The morning started normally enough but things went downhill near the end of church when it was announced that we would be taking Communion. I couldn’t help it really, I just watched in horror as filthy hand after filthy hand broke off the bread and dipped it into the cup. Then some little brat double dipped! Think of all the germs residing on that bread.
         I almost left then but my wife grabbed my shirt and forced me to keep still. So I had bravely tried to force the foul germ covered bread into my mouth. Just when I thought I had overcome my disgust, an image of that miserable brat popped back into my head and I lost control…all over the deacon.
         Sure it was unfortunate but Tammy couldn’t appreciate what I had tried to overcome for her. So now she was in a foul mood and yelling at me.
         “You know what? I’m sick of talking to you, you need to go and do the laundry.”
         “Tammy! I hate doing the clothes.” She cut me off with a silencing finger. I despised going down to the dank dark dungeon that was the apartment complex’s basement. But I knew better then to argue when she was so mad.
         Muttering under my breath, I gathered up the clothes and made my way down to the pit of despair. I unlocked the door to the washer room. Like anyone would want to break in down there.
         I inched my way along, the strong grasp of dankness engulfing me. I was careful to watch my back because you never know what might show up down there. So I made my way to one of the washers and started hurriedly tossing our clothes in.
         I was halfway through when I heard a skittering sound. “Who’s there?” I squeaked…my eyes searching the murky darkness quickly. The hairs on my neck began to rise as my heart raced. I could feel a purely evil presence around me. It oozed like…some foul thing would have oozed.
         But I could see nothing. I reached up to a nearby shelf and felt my fingers close around one of the handyman’s wrenches. Quickly pulling it up, I let the tool come to my guard. Its cool feel helped relax my sweaty palms.
         Then the evil attacked! It was all teeth, claws, and fur. It was a cat. The little thing bounded out of the shadows and purred at me, licking at my shoes. The kitten was cute and I soon found myself talking to it and petting it. The white fur was dirty and the poor thing look exhausted. I immediately thought about having pity on it and seeing if we could keep it. I tossed the wrench aside and bent down. That’s when the unexpected happened. Actually, pretty much everything from here on out is unexpected, but you get the point.
         That cute little “helpless” kitty reared up and bit my finger! And it would not let go either. “Ouch!! You stupid…”I trailed off into a bunch of insults that need not be repeated here. I tried to get the monster off but its jaws were like vices.
         I was growing desperate by now with this cat hanging onto my flailing arm. I reached up onto the shelf, running my hand along the surface until I came across the first object that might serve as a weapon. My hands closed around an old rusty fork.
         “HA!” I cried out in wrath as I brought the fork down into the pest’s back. It let out a shriek of hurt as it let go with the fork stuck in the foul animal’s back. It scampered away from me, under a series of racks in the back of the room.
         Looking back, I realize that I should have let it go. But my bloodlust was at its height, I needed revenge. I stooped down onto the floor to look behind the racks. I saw my prey sitting in a huddle with the fork sticking up out of its back. “Here kitty, kitty, kitty.” I taunted it as I threw racks aside. The foul feline tried for an escape but I was able to grab it’s tail.
         Lifting it high, I laughed. I was the master of the battle now. I swung my would be torturer around to the washer and knocked over the laundry detergent. I watched angrily as it emptied onto the floor. “Errrr…Now look what you made me do! You’ll pay for that.” I promised my nemesis. It didn't have much of a defense. I lifted the furry monster over the washer, prepared to drop him in when I heard another sound behind me.
         I turned to look and my foot suddenly went out from under me as I slid on the slick detergent covered floor. Suddenly the cat and I were both yelling through the air, our cause now a common one.
         We fell and tragedy struck, for the cat at least. It was about to be my great epiphany. We fell and my destiny drew closer. Of course, I was so ignorant then and had no idea. So we fell, and I screamed like a little sissy girl. The fork in the cat’s back jammed squarely into an electrical outlet and everything flashed with bright intense pain. Then there was nothing.
         My eyes shot open as I sat up, knowing nothing for a moment. Then everything came back. I turned to find the charred remains of the cat floating in midair, stuck on the fork that was melted into the outlet. I thought that maybe the cat had saved me. Then I heard a voice.
         “Joe.” It called out slowly from somewhere I couldn’t see.
         “Yes?” I stuttered a reply. “Is this God?”
         The voice laughed in a sort of calculated way. “No, but I’m as close as you will ever get to Him.”
         “So,” I started nervously. “Are you the Devil?”
         “We have more important things to discuss Joe. Come back here for a moment.” I stood up and followed slowly to the back of the room. I saw only a washer. Then the most unbelievable thing happened. The lid began to open and close as I heard words take form from the opening.
         “How the…I mean what the?” I stammered.
         “Joe,” it started. “We really do not have a lot of time for questions.”
         “But you’re a…I mean a…”
         “Yes Joe, I am a washer. You are going to have to accept that if we are going to have a meaningful relationship.” My sense finally snapped back to me then and I took off for the door. I took the stairs up two at a time. Then I locked the apartment door and slumped down onto the floor, mumbling to myself in disbelief.

Last Monday
         Tammy was not pleased, but I refused to go back down there. She had to go get our clothes. When she returned, she mocked me.
         “You have a message from the washer. He says you’re a lunatic!” I just took it. I knew what I had seen and heard. Tammy rolled her eyes and went on with a comment about how pathetic I was. And because it was true, I took it.
         I heard her throw the basket down in the bedroom and the door slammed. I sat still, wondering what to do next. I could try to ease things with Tammy. She would just complain about how poorly I did that too.
         I could go down and convince myself that it had all been in my mind. But what if it was reality? My whole world might collapse around me. If a washer could talk to me today, what tomorrow? I berated myself for such silly thoughts, it was impossible anyway. And so I grew bold, deciding to go down to prove my fear imaginary. I ran into a distraction on my way down.
         Mr. Stevenson, crotchety old half senile Mr. Stevenson, was spread out on the second floor landing in some strange posture. It was not the first time that he had “fallen” down the stairs. Each time, he made a miraculous recovery after the several members of the complex had organized meals for him.
         I immediately thought about Humpty Dumpty crying for the wolf after his fall. One day, Mr. Stevenson would really be hurt and no one would care.
         What a showoff! My pity would be better spent on a more deserving person. He even had the nerve to make some noises as I stepped over him, ignoring the rather flimsy charade. He probably would have robbed me the moment I tried to help him and laughed while he ate meals delivered by the unassuming fools in the complex.
         I finally made it to the basement and stood deathly still as I peered around the corner. The room was very still, maybe a little too much so. I darted out with a burst of courage. Then I inched my way further back into the room.
I could see the washer and it was not moving.
         Then suddenly, the lid moved as I heard the voice. “Hello again Joe.” So it was not just me being crazy.
         “W…Who are you?” I asked.
         “You can call me Arnie.”
         “Arnie?” Now I knew I was losing it.
         “Yes,” he started. “That will do fine.” I am not sure what kept me from running again but I felt bolted to the floor.
         “So what do you want? And how do you know my name?”
         “I want to help you, Joe. I want you to be happy.” I retorted with a smart remark about my chances for happiness.
         Arnie laughed. “You might be surprised my friend. I can help with many things.”
         I challenged this odd character to prove that to me. He assured me that he would prove his worth by nightfall. Obviously skeptical, I let it go.
“And what do you want from me?”
         “Only your friendship.” He replied. “It gets lonely down here.” I had to agree with him there. If I were a washer, this would be the last place I’d want to have been stuck.
         “We will see.” I said, knowing that this washer had no power if he was even real. I left the basement not knowing what to think anymore. It was more than my imagination, but it was all still a tad too odd for my taste.
It was later that night that I would become a believer. Tammy had just come home and informed me of the news. Mr. Stevenson was dead. Somehow, he had fallen down and broken his back. Without any help, he had died of internal bleeding. But that is what he got for all his times of pretending. He had finally really hurt himself and no one was there to help.
         We were just discussing what a disturbing, horrible, pointless death it should have been when the doorbell rang. I opened it to see a gorgeous young blonde standing in the doorway. She had been crying.
         “Can I help you?” I asked.
         “Are you Joe Caroll?”
         “Yes, I am. How can I help you?” My eyes were wandering up and down her form. She was rather young and petite, very pretty. She was probably not even into her thirties yet. I wished I was a half a decade younger.
         “I’m Nicole, Fred Stevenson’s granddaughter and the executor of his will. May I come in please?” I let her in, unsure of what to expect. “I am not sure exactly why or how but it seems that my grandfather changed his will recently to make you the sole beneficiary of his assets.”
         I stood in total shock. Had Arnie done this? Was that possible? I tried to keep my composure despite myself. “Well,” I started. “How much is it that I will be getting?”
         “Everything told, about two million.” Suddenly my head grew light. I could not even think of what two million dollars could get you. I had to force myself to focus on Nicole as she spoke again. “I just want to say that you must have been a great friend to my granddaddy for him to have done this. He was so lonely and you must just be a wonderful person.” It was hard to focus on her words, her lips were amazing as they formed each sound.
         “Well you know.” I said. “I just like to help out whenever I can. I just enjoy giving all the time.” Her large blue eyes melted into puppy dog stares as she again expressed how great I was.
         “I just needed to stop by and see the man that was so great to my grandfather but I have some funeral business to take care of. Maybe you could stop by my place to talk about the details?” I agreed quickly and took her number down. Tammy was as dumbfounded and thrilled as I was. But it was hard to pay attention to her. I had visions of money and Nicole dancing in my mind.

Last Tuesday
         I hardly slept Monday night. When I wasn’t thinking of all the money, my mind was on Nicole. And I was thinking about Arnie too. He had delivered on his promise. What else could he gain for me? And was a friend all he really wanted?
         I had never been friends with a washer before. Come to think of it, I had not been friends with anyone before. A friend could be a good thing to have, especially one as powerful as Arnie. I imagined what his limits might be. Could he make me an important person? A politician maybe, no a sports star. That possibility really got my blood pumping. And I could have Nicole as my trophy wife. Life just seemed to be getting so much better.
         The sun finally rose and I jumped out of bed. If I was going to impress Nicole, then I would need to get into better shape. My gut hung just a little over my belt line but I could take care of it with some work. For my age, I was not in such bad shape anyway.
         After four push-ups I was spent. It was obvious that I would need more help. Suddenly, a light popped on somewhere in the recesses of my head. Bright rays burned into places that had not seen light for years. I didn’t need to workout, Arnie could make me fit again.
         I took a basket of dirty clothes and was heading for the door when Tammy stopped me.
         “What are you doing?” she demanded.
         “Well what does it look like?” I replied with sarcasm dripping. I hoped the tone of my voice would hide my fear of being found out. What would happen if Tammy knew about Arnie? She might try to make him into her friend. That was when I realized just how little I could trust my scheming wife.
         “You’ve only got three things in there though.” Her treacherous voice brought me back.
         “Well they’re very dirty!” I spat as I pushed by her. I kept my head down as I descended the stairwell, stopping only long enough on the first floor to make sure no one would see me going down to visit Arnie.
         “Well Joe, what do you think?” his voice greeted me with a pleased tone.
         “I’m not convinced just yet. That could have been a fluke.” I was trying to play my cards wisely.
         Arnie laughed. “You’re an untrusting and self serving guy, Joe. I like that in a person.” There was a moment of silence and then he spoke again. “So what would prove to you that I am what I say I am?”
         “Get my body into good shape.” I blurted a little too quickly.
         “And then you’ll be my friend?”
         “Sure, just get me in good shape.” Who said happiness was hard to come by?
         “Tomorrow when you wake up, you will be in excellent shape. And Joe, you are wise not to trust you wife.” I knew it! She was plotting against me. I thanked Arnie and then I spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure a way to get the upper hand on my treacherous wife.

Yesterday
         I spent another nearly sleepless night, my nerves on edge. But my eyes finally closed in what seemed to be just enough time to hear the alarm blaring. I leapt from the bed and scrambled into the bathroom. Tammy cast a groggy look at me.
         “YEESSS!” I cried out in glee. I stared at what looked like a new body reflecting back at me in the mirror. My stomach was firm and even showed a bit of a six-pack. The fat on my cheeks was gone and my legs were tight, flexing with each movement. I clenched my fist to see muscles ripple under my skin. There was truly nothing better then being in great shape, except the woman it would help me get. I would settle no longer.
         Tammy walked into the bathroom and stopped cold. “Joe…What happened to you?”
         “Isn’t it great Tammy? I look good!”
         “What did you do, Joe? Are you using some kind of new drug?” She just could not get it. I laughed at her ignorance. There was no way she could understand even if I had wanted her too. I had found something so much better then any drug, a friend with true power.
I was putting on my now lose fitting jeans when the phone rang. “Hi, Joe?” I heard Nicole’s sweet voice on the other end.
         “Hi Nicole! How can I help you?” The conversation stayed light for a moment before she got to the true point of the call.
         “I was wondering if you might want to come over to talk about the details of the will tomorow, maybe over dinner?” Oh Arnie, what a pal. I told her that I’d be over around seven o’clock. My life was just getting better and better by the hour.
         The phone rang again as soon as I hung it up. I heard the impossible as I put the receiver up to my ear.
         “Hello, Joe.” It was Arnie. I stood in shock, my body feeling numb.
         “How did you call me?” I was dumbfounded.
         “Oh come now, Joe. I can do many, many things. I can certainly make a phone call now and then. And by the way, your welcome for Nicole.” The line went dead but I stood with the phone to my ear for another moment. I dropped the phone to the floor as Tammy came out, asking who had called.
         “Wrong number.” I mumbled as I pushed my way past her. I ran down the stairs heading for a chat with my friend. I opened up the gate and made my way to Arnie’s home with more courage then I had ever felt.
         “Arnie, what do you think you’re doing?” I demanded.
         “I just wanted to say hi.” He replied with a smug tone. “I get lonely down here.”
         “Yeah well, you can’t call me like that. What if my wife found out?” Arnie was silent. “Look, I’m just saying you need to be more careful.”
         “Fine. I will not bug you at home on two conditions. First, you have to visit me twice a day.”
         “Okay, and the second?”
         “The second…” Arnie trailed off. Then he chuckled.

Last Night
         It was a dark rainy night. I would have loved to have stayed in until my date, but I had to move quickly if I was going to accomplish so much and still meet Nicole by seven o’clock. I wasn’t looking forward to my work, but sometimes you have to do uncomfortable things for the sake of friendship.
         I nervously knocked on the door to room 208, directly below my own room. I waited, hoping there would be no answer. Reaching into my pocket, my fingers closed around the incriminating evidence. With a quick swing, the door was open and I stood straight.
         John Taley stood before me. He was imposing with his graying beard, muscles, tattoos, and biker clothes. I swallowed hard and gathered up my manhood.
         “What do you want?” he growled and I felt my manhood slide down into my stomach.
         “John!” I started with a false smile. “How have you been doing lately? You know I was thinking the other day and realized I hadn’t been down to visit you in ages.”
         “You’ve never come down to visit me.” I could see his eyes searching, wondering what I was doing here. I tried to look nonchalant.
         “So could I come in?” His eyes were searching me still when he motioned into the doorway. I had never been into John’s apartment and I had no desire to ever return. The place was wretched. The carpet was worn bald, the walls were barren, and the place reeked of smoke. I put my false smile on even brighter to hide my complete disgust. “So…I really like what you’ve done with the place.” I lied. John growled at me.
         It was time to make my move here. “I’m kind of nervous to tell you this,” I started. “but I noticed that someone keyed your bike.”
         “What?” he roared. “I’ll kill them!” He was gone in a flash, tearing down the wooden steps with the sound of his heavy boots echoing throughout the stairwell. My chance was upon me. I ran into their bedroom and opened his wife’s drawer. I quickly tossed the pair of Tammy’s panties from my pocket in and was soon back in the hall.
         I was not sure how his wife might react or why it was important to Arnie, but the task was done. Now I had one more favor to perform for my friend. I frowned to think about it but it was necessary. Sometimes you just had to pull the stops out for a friend.
         I made my way up to the fourth floor, to room 416. I knocked on the door and waited once again. Ms. Thompson opened the door slowly, her small frame meekly standing before me.
         “Can I help you?” she asked in a frail, friendly voice.
         “Hi, Ms. Thompson…I hate to be the one to tell you this…” my voice trailed off. I could see she was listening curiously now.
         “Is something wrong with Fluffy? You know he runs away sometimes and I just can’t keep up with him these days. I hope he is not hurt.”
         “No, Ms. Thompson. It's not your Fluffy. I’m here to tell you that at a very late date, you were written out of Mr. Stevenson’s will.”
         “What?” she stared in shock. “I gave him five years and that is what I get for it?” She became livid quickly and I wasn’t about to be around when she went off. Her face was growing dark red from anger and her frail body was shaking strangely when I quickly made my way back down to the lobby. I could only imagine how heart-breaking that must have been for her. Mr. Stevenson must have been a real jerk.
         There was a mess on the lobby floor, water was leaking in from somewhere. Caution tape was up around an especially ruined section. That wood had been slowly going anyway, at least now someone would have to replace it. The landlord had enough money to burn, he ought to have fixed the floor years ago.
         I sped off to Nicole’s, barely able to imagine what might await me. I drove dangerously, but I was soon at her door. Carefully straightening myself, I rang the doorbell. Almost instantly, Nicole stood before me and everything else vanished. She wore a simple sleeveless black dress to her knees. Her gorgeous blonde hair was up, revealing a long slender neck. Her full eyes stared at me for a moment before recognition kicked in.
         “Joe…” she started in amazement. “You look…great.” Oh thank you Arnie! This body was already paying off.
         “You look great too.” I responded with the most sincere smile I had felt in years. She invited me in and we sat down to an outstanding dinner. We were almost half way through when she began to cry.
         “What’s wrong?” I asked with all the concern I could manage. Surprisingly, I felt a considerable amount.
         “Nothing Joe, it’s just that I keep thinking of how wonderful a person you must be to have been so important to my grandfather. I just can’t thank you enough.”
         “Well,” I fumbled. “You know, I just do what I can.” Suddenly she was out of her chair and in my arms, sobbing. I tried desperately to not think about what could happen. I didn’t want to take advantage of her, she deserved better.
         But then our lips were together and then our tongues. Suddenly our clothes were off and then I felt the bed against my back. It was all a flurry of blissful movement and sweet sound from there.

This Morning
         The next thing I remembered was feeling the sun on my chest. Nicole was asleep next to me. It was early, she would probably want to wake up and have me here, but I knew I had to take care of some matters. Then I could live the rest of my life with Nicole and have the happiness I longed for and deserved.
         I crawled out of bed and threw my clothes on. I was gone in minutes. On the trip home, I focused on what I would need to do. Tammy had to go, that was obvious. She would not understand. And I would need to find out how Arnie would want me to keep in touch with him. I might need to pay to have him moved. I would make that sacrifice for my friend.
         I ran up the first flight of stairs before it dawned on me. I needed a real plan to get rid of Tammy. I could not just pop in and tell her the truth. What good would that do me? Plus, I had to figure a way to get rid of her. I had to make it look like an accident. I could not just say that she disappeared. That would be suspicious.
I thought quickly about how I might fool such a scheming vulture. This was going to mean taking one for the team. Turning back to the stairs I had just climbed, I held my breath and tossed myself down to the floor below. Talk about pain! I knew I had to have broken a rib and maybe fractured a couple of bones. My leg was throbbing and there was a nasty gash on my forehead. I figured that would do.
         Slowly, I crawled my way back up the stairs, calling Tammy’s name. I was half way up the second flight when Tammy came out and saw me. “Oh no! Joe! What happened? Are you ok?” she ran to me. I mumbled a story about muggers attacking me last night and how I had been out there since this morning. She helped me into the apartment.
         “Could you fix me a cup of coffee please sweetie?” She was more than willing to help. Now I needed her out for just a minute. “Oh no.” I started. “I can’t find my wallet, maybe it’s downstairs?” Tammy went to check and I knew I had precious little time to act. I hobbled my way to the coffee machine. Looking under the counter, I pulled out the first cleaner I could find. I poured half a bottle of it into the coffee cup. It was not subtle but it would have to do. I was suddenly coughing into the sink, tasting blood in my mouth. Maybe I had been too effective.
         I had just sat back down when Tammy returned. She couldn’t find the wallet. Of course she couldn’t, it was in my back pocket. She laid me down on the couch and gently ran a damp towel across my forehead.
         “Oh Joe, we need to get you looked at.” It was amazing how well she could fake concern for me. She almost had me fooled. I asked for a cup of the coffee and she poured one for each of us.
         The phone rang then. I made sure to get to it first. It was Nicole and she was crying. Apparently she had received a nasty call from Ms. Thompson accusing her of backstabbing the elderly women by cutting her out of the will. Somehow Nicole thought it was my fault. She said she never wanted to hear from me again. My mind was spinning as I tried to deal with the information. But then Tammy came back to focus before I could reply to Nicole.
         She set my cup down but held onto hers. Time seemed to slow painfully in my eyes. Oh, my freedom was so close at hand. Just drink the coffee! She finally stopped talking long enough to take a drink. She brought the cup to her lips and my heart raced. And finally, the poisoned coffee touched her lips.
         That’s when everything went wrong. Tammy spat the coffee out with a yell. “What the…? Something’s wrong with this coffee.” Her face contorted into a confused look.
         I sighed calmly and deeply. I dropped the phone, Nicole’s questions dropping away with it. “I guess there’s just a point when you have to do things the old fashioned way.” Tammy looked at me without understanding. Of course she could not understand. She could not understand anything about me anymore. I leapt at her, my fingers closing around her throat.
         “Joe!” she barely breathed. “Please…what are you doing?” I did not want to talk to her, I just wanted her gone. Out of nowhere, Tammy had the mug in her hand. It thumped against my temple and my world turned bright with pain. I reeled back and she took off through the door.
         “Tammy…you stupid skank” I slurred. Grabbing the mug, I cleared my head. I limped through the door and she was already halfway down the stairs. Winding up, I hurled the mug. It sailed true, catching her in the back of the head and sending her crashing to the floor. I let out of a cry of triumph. I stumbled my way down the stairs to where her dazed body sprawled on the second floor landing. I stood over her body, taunting her. After all, I thought I had plenty of time.
         I heard two voices suddenly raised in anger. John Taley burst through his door to the hallway. His eyes turned to me unexpectedly. “You! You’re the one who put those panties in our dresser. And I bet you keyed my bike too!” He came after me and I knew that he would destroy me. I closed my eyes as he approached.
         A loud sharp noise bounced around the building. I opened my eyes in time to see John fall forward. His wife stood behind him with a smoking shotgun. “That is what you get for cheating on me.” She looked up to me and I felt very uncomfortable. “You! It was your slut wife that he was cheating with!”
         “Wait!” I yelled. “I hate my wife too. Let’s just take care of both of them together and we can keep all this a secret!” It looked like she might go with me on the idea for a moment.
         “Nah, if I kill you too, then there are no witnesses to worry about.” I had to agree that she had a good point. She lifted the shotgun at me and pulled the trigger. But she was out of shells. She howled in anger as she grasped deep in her pocket for more. This was my chance. Moving quickly, I grabbed the shotgun and brought the butt up to land a square hit on her jaw. Her body went limp. No one was going to stop me today.
         Then I saw that the shells had fallen all over the floor in the struggle and were now rolling towards the stairs. I jumped for them, my fingers closing around several just before they fell to the abyss of the first floor. There was a weight suddenly thrown onto my back. Tammy had her hands around my jaw, pulling my neck back. The shells tumbled down the steps, followed by the shotgun.
         Reaching a hand around, I grabbed a hand full of her hair. Tugging with all my strength, we both lurched down to the ground floor and rolled apart. My hand came to rest on the shotgun. Tammy stared at me as I slowly picked myself up.
         “Joe!” she called my name in a way I hadn't heard before. It sounded almost like there was actual concern and maybe even some hurt in her voice. But I might have been hearing things. Actually, I knew I was hearing things because it sounded like sirens in my head. It was too late anyway, this had gone too far and now there was only one way to finish it.
         The police burst through the front door with their weapons drawn, interrupting our business. They were yelling for me to put down the gun. I yelled back at them, trying to explain how evil she was, but they didn’t understand. No one did. I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. It was time to realize the man I had never been.
         I weakly lifted the shotgun at Tammy and pain instantly blazed through my body as a wall of lead slammed into me. I stumbled forward, looking for balance. My feet gave out from under me and I fell. My body slammed hard into the water ruined floor and I kept on falling. I hit the basement floor with a horrible crunch directly in front of Arnie.
         “Oh…Arnie. Please…help…me.” I moaned through weak lips.
         “Joe, you idiot.” Arnie seemed almost amused. “What would you have me do?”
         “Fix me…please.” I felt death trying to wrap its icy claws around me. It was the most terrifying feeling I had ever experienced. It was also the most alive feeling I had ever experienced. It was a bizarre mix of fear and adrenaline. Perhaps I had that luxury because I thought I would not truly die. Some naïve part of me still clung to whatever it meant to live. This was all coming to me quickly after all, I had never thought about death before.
         "Joe, I’m sorry but I can not do that.”
         “What? You can do anything. You're powerful. You're my friend, right?”
         “Sorry, Joe. You had your chance. I let you have what you wanted and you played the cards poorly. It seems that you have made your last bet.”
         “No….” I cried. My hearing was fading but I could hear Arnie. He was laughing at me.
         “Joe…you really are pathetic. I gave you everything you asked for and you still blew it. You really are a loser.” Suddenly, the lid began flapping up and down loudly as he laughed at me.
         It was strange, but now in my last moments here I have been thinking a lot about what could have been. And I have actually been thinking about Tammy. Maybe things could have worked for us if we had tried harder. Maybe she even did love me. I wonder if that feeling somewhere deep inside of me is love for her? That would be ironic if I had felt so alone that I left my home to find something that had always been there the whole time. But it was too late for that now. There were a lot of things I could have done better, I suppose. But hey, at least I made a new friend.