Thoughts

Thinking...thoughts wandering rapidly
through the thick air. My mind is racing,
not knowing what I'm thinking.. Just
knowing that they're scattered everywhere.
Feelings of emotion, not sure what it is.
Guilty for something, but I can't figure out
why. Writing down random words of thoughts
confusing all, including myself. Why do I write
down meaningless words? Why do I bother
trying to help myself, when clearly no one
can help me-not even me? I clear my head
and try to think of what exactly I feel.
I don't know. What do I feel at this moment?
Do I feel anything? Somebody tell me what
I am feeling for my whole body, mind and
soul, is numb from all the pain that it has
encountered. Still sitting here trying
to figure out if he loves me...does he
love me? He says that he does, can I believe him?
So much has been given, yet so much has
been taken away. The one person that made
sense in my life was ripped away. Will I ever
get him back? My body aches from all of this
torture I have put myself through. I will never
feel whole again, until he is in my arms.
When can I hold him again, touch him and kiss
him like I always used to? When will my head
stop pounding and my mind stop spinning?
Too many thoughts surrounding myself...
What do I do with them? Make them go away!
Please bring him back to me, give me my love,
my heart and my soul, because with out them,
I am once again nothing in this meaningless,
twisted up world. Please give him back to me~