This is an interesting idea. You have explained it how your actual story will start very well. While fantasy is not my chosen genre, I do find this a compelling idea for a fantasy novel. You will need to map and outline your "world" carefully so you and your readers can keep track of it.
The only thing I would change is the slight errors in usage and grammar Be sure you proofread before you finalize it here. A friend told me that changing your font to Verdana is a good way to avoid problems since that font has the fewest issues with the loading process. It does work.
I'm looking forward to seeing the finished product!
You bring a lot of good questions out here in your piece.
It's all true that we have no idea who or what the person at the other end of the internet cable is when we befriend them. Just like here at WDC, many use a handle and not their real name. You could be corresponding with the Queen of England, (who does chat under another name), or Charles Manson, (who doesn't since he's forbidden use of most communication devices.)
I enjoy being reminded of this fact since there are times when I let my guard down and get too close online. Not a good idea. I'd love to see these thoughts adapted into a short story, novel or longer essay.
The only real criticism I have is that you seem to have some mistakes in the post that could be due to the file conversion when you posted. A friend told me that Verdana font is best for file transfer since it comes over with fewer errors.
I enjoyed reading this thought provoking message.
A powerful message using unexpected images. I would not have considered using dragons, images of violence, as images of peace.
Your rhymes work pretty well. There is some stuttering in the rhythm, but poems never read properly unless the writer reads it for you. Only they know how it should sound since they created it.
I really like it. The images are powerful as is the message. Thanks for sending me the link!
I'm amazed that such a simple structure as what you used could convey this powerful message. I usually see that type of rhyme used for a sing song type of subject, something light and pleasant. But you have used it to convey a dark message. It is made even more effective by the fact that the protagonist in the poem is actually happy in the end.
I admit I had to read this twice to make sure I understood it fully. In the end, I had to read it a third time.
I love the imagery you portray of the books, the messy room and even the messy man. I could see someone like that, a man who made books his life to the point of exclusion of all else, even ordinary housekeeping chores. How easy it would be to escape into that world.
The confusion I had was from the form you chose to use for the poem. It was hard at first to glean the imagery well enough to put it together in my head. Then I realized that the way the poem was written complemented the subject matter by being nonconformist itself.
Clearly your speaker is well acquainted with loneliness.
Your description of the feeling is dead on. You've taken the basic dictionary definition that breaks it down to the very basics and added comparisons that create not just a visual for me, but emotions too. That is not easy to do in such a small piece.
I find myself wondering whether this is a poem, an essay or prose. That in itself is thought provoking.
Bravo for getting me to think on so many levels with this!
Congratulations and best wishes to you on this wonderful day!
Always remember to listen to each other as you travel down life's road.
Be interested in what each other is doing.
And never be afraid to show your love to each other.
Wow! You have really captured the emotions that one feels when their lover has betrayed them. The rhyme scheme is perfectly used and very easy to follow which allows the piece to flow and build the mood.
I wish I was talented enough to put music to this since it would make a wonderful song.
So very well done!
Lovely poem in a rarely used but extremely effective form. You have captured the feeling of love so well with your use of the flight metaphor. The addition of the bird picture only complements the words, giving us an image to imbed in our minds along with the words.
Well done!
I found this piece both entertaining and thought provoking. Lena shows a hard working, independent streak that we rarely see in our youth today. Your use of the cars to illustrate her hard won independence is highly effective and fresh.
I'd love to see more of the story such as what happens to Lena now that she has her independence as well as the exchanges she might still have with her family.
Well done!
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