This was a nicely descriptive short piece. It was written in a realistic manner and was error free. With a few different words this could be about anyone facing death by any means. It told why the guy was being hanged and how he got caught which are about all the questions that need to be answered. Nice clean writing.
Ha Ha! I was expecting a twist but not this one. I have to wonder if anyone really buries their tennis shoes? The writing is clear, concise and error free. For a very short story it was entertaining.
I read this story because it is unusual to find stories about horses or anything about riding horses. I am fifty seven and rode horses from five until I had to quit because of health reasons in recent years so I can relate to this story. It was easy to read and follow and I didn’t see any errors in spelling or formatting. You did a decent job of storytelling and your intent with this piece was easy to see. The following a few suggestions for things that you might want to change, or not: “The fence of John Gaynor’s farm cut the landscape to the right. The fence line stopped at the tree line just to the right of her place. One of his horses stood just inside the fence, and fine horseflesh it was.” You use fence three times here. Try to combine this image and cut out a couple of “fences” and a “line”. Something like “John Gaynor’s farm was to the right of the fence which stopped at the tree line on the right side of her place. One of his horses was standing on his land and it was a fine piece of horseflesh.” This sentence: “Still, if I could manage to get it back before six,” take out the word “it”. “She tied a noose in short piece” put in the word “the” after “in”. “with a kick of the flanks” I would replace “of the” with “to his”. “gentle kick of the flanks” replace “of” with “to”.
Beware of a Talking Guitar Case
Yes the devil went down to Georgia and maybe a little farther. Yes I expected a twist but not this exact twist! This was written in a straight forward and easy style. Yes it did channel the previously mentioned story but it did differ also, it was an entertaining tale. There were a a few typos but overall well done.
I have got to say I did not see the end coming. This was written in an easy to follow manner, it kept the story line on point for the whole story. There were a few typos and grammar errors but they could be easily corrected. All in all this was an entertaining piece with a couple of twists.
A Truly Haunted House!
You have a very clean style of writing, it is to the point and easy to read. Now to the story, as I was reading this I vividly remembered the time my girlfriend Mary Lou and I went to a haunted house and were so freaking scared we ended up holding on to the coattail of a gentleman in front of us. I liked the bit of humor when the main character stomped on ET. I had several thoughts as to how this tale would end and even though the real ending was one of the possibilities I didn’t really see it coming. This was a nicely told horror story and I don’t see that there is anything you need to do to make it better. Nicely done!
A Little Romance Would Be Nice!
This story was told in a very clinical manner. If this is the beginning it is going to get very drab indeed by the end. This story is told by a man who is out for the kill only, not from the view of a man who is looking to fall in love, yet by saying that he married her in ten months you would think there would be some chemistry that is not represented here. There needs to more emotion than the cold details here in this story to make it believable that he fell in love and got married.
Short Story, Long Joke
This was a cute little tale that read like a complex joke and had a fitting and enjoyable ending. The writing was clear and easy to understand. It might be a little better if you could figure out a way to make it a little bit longer as it was pretty short. If you could find a subtle way to hook the audience it could make for a longer story.
I laughed as I read about the stuff that was unloaded that the father sent, I had a very similar experience when I moved into my house and my father sent my stuff and a whole lot of other things I know were never mine. I liked the visuals I got from many of the descriptions, they were quite funny and I could imagine myself being there. I found a paragraph that needs restructuring after the hospital visit and a few other errors after that but for the most part of it was solidly written. I was expecting that the sound would be back but it was a very cute and entertaining story and I recommend it.
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