Hellooo ... I am reviewing you for the first time. I came to this item through the Port Raid that I am conducting on the port of Scottiegazelle, and am I glad I did! What a marvellous and hilarious tale you have spun for all of us! Noodle! This is great stuff! How did the idea happen to you? I will now be reading SG's sequel, and I am sure she will have a very pleasant surprise waiting for me.
Your kaliedoscope of stories is so beautiful and "interesting" to look through, I am glad I took part in the Port Raid! I think each story to be the best in your port and then up comes a better one! How do you manage to write so much and so well too, in spite of your so many offsite commitments? I am amazed at your work and its calibre.
Thanks for sharing the American vignettes with us.
What a great way to share happiness and goodwill on this site! I was pleasantly surprised to get your Account Birthday images and wishes and am thankful to you for the same.
It looks as if this is one of the busiest items on WDC, not counting the Technical and General Support forums.
You made me cry, really! This was such a beautiful story of having faith in the Almighty. You call Him God, I call Him Allah, what does it matter?
I did not rate you a 5.0 since there were some grammatical errors here, and also because there was one big lacuna in the story: what made your father change his mind? You must have an inkling of this? Do try and include that too, or mention at least that you don't know why he did so.
This is a lovely feedback of the Convention. Almost all the others I read so far had so many details and so little of personal experience. You turned that around by being very first-person about it all. I liked your admitting that you are a shy person, and how you overcame your internal demons and went out and had fun!
This is a review on behalf of "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor in which you are participating. Thank you for the same. Please bear with me as I delve into this item and read it carefully:
Hmmm ... Bravo! This is a very, very well-written item indeed. I think you have nicely blended the distant past with the issues relating to the present. Your lists of past writings, your inspirations, the kinds of authors you have read and the music you listen to are evidence of your immense talent and reach!
Few members of this site have an item such as yours, and I commend you for the same, as you have gone way back into your past and recounted your problems and your experiences with us.
This was a very nice translation. I appreciate the effort you have been taking in turning Indian poems into English. Although I have only just sampled this one, I might revisit your port to see the others.
What a deeply spiritual item this is! I read your bio and it appears that you practice the Christian faith in Malta.
The opening lines are simple and yet, deeply moving. You write about the love that flows from His heart to all of humanity, and this is what makes this poem/song different from the hundreds of others on this site.
In the Refrain, first stanza, you have ended both the 2nd and the 4th lines with the same word. Do try and modify that if possible. In the 6th line of the refrain, you have made a typo error, so please rectify that too.
The final 4 lines are written with inversion, so that the meaning is not clear. Are you saying you want to kneel before Him or questioning yourself if you will do those things or not?
There were no other mistakes or typos here. The 4.5 rating from me is wholly justified!
I am reviewing you as part of "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor .
Please don't mind my telling you this, but you are a very accomplished poet! I know that the verses that are displayed here are emerging not from your mind but from your pained and anguished heart. That is why it is so beautiful!
All along, I thought the mother had been unjust to you and your sister, but your last few lines showed her in an infinitely benevolent light.
This is a wonderful call center. All the people who come in and visit it ... don't they disturb the CEO-cum-operator-cum-janitor-cum-receptionist-cum- oh dash it, you know what I am saying! I thank you for inviting me inside. I have gone in and posted ... I hope you don't mind my posting the same item that you reviewed for me.
Take care, and tell me, are you studying to be a science professor? Why the specialised username?
This seems to be a great idea for a contest. I liked the name of the contest too. It is very catchy and attractive for all! I have sent you a message to allow me to join in the forum itself. Do count me in. And here's hoping we get to see really great entries!
I must say this is a nice spiritually uplifting poem! By the way, how was the Convention? Did you have a great time?
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In the above poem, you have, very effectively - I must admit, shown to the lay people that Death is not something to be feared; in fact, it should be seen as the ONLY path to meet with our Maker and to eternal salvation ... meditation, yoga, TM etc. be damned.
I also admire that you wrote about such a heavy subject in simple to understand, short and sweet lines.
I felt, perhaps, that "On" this earthly walk looked better than "In" the earthly walk in line 2, but please don't mind me, as I think that is only my viewpoint.
Hi! I am Taher and you are being raided by the Convention Pirates!
This beautiful poem on butterflies is a reminder to all of us to occasionally stop, think and desist from a rigid lifestyle and meander, albeit purposefully (but seemingly not) through life. We must seek out our simple and glorious pleasures continually if we are to redeem ourselves as humans - the race with superior intelligence.
I liked that line a lot ..."Living for sunlight" ... however, with us humans, we must look out for darkness too since we are responsible to our families and our near and dear ones too!
I must say you have the most fertile imagination. You have used the prompt very intelligently and written a brilliant story on it. Your use of the words to denote the extra ... ahem ... tissue on the body is very funny indeed. Ha ha ha, I cannot stop laughing, because I, too, am a bit on the same side, though not all that much!
Keep entertaining us as much as you can and we will come and read your items and praise you!
I have always fancied reading your work, and the 2005 Port Raid finally gave me the chance to get into your Port once again and sample some delights.
Frankly, I am not disappointed at all. If this is the standard of your writing when you write for Writer's Cramp, I think your other, well-thoughtout work must be stupendous!
I did not find anything here that I would like to suggest/change/erase. It is good. Giving chipmunks/squirrels human qualities like this ... er ... have you, in fact, ever seen a heart-shaped acorn? I think that perhaps you may have, and that may have given you this idea. Or maybe ... you have a tree in your back-yard and you have been observing those animals closely.
Whatever! This is a nice, balanced piece of writing and I commend you on it.
What a nice, warm and happy item for me to review as part of Port Raid! Amazing, isn't it, how nice things become when viewed from a different POV? For you, and for the SMs and the SM, this date has become unforgettable!
I thoroughly enjoyed the item, as it gave me a slight insight into the family of the SMs, who is, with the SM, the best of the best here on WDC.
Some more things that I liked here:
Your daughter's photo ... she is so cute at that age!
The description of the vision you had in pregnancy.
The layout of the whole item, esp. the fact that you have used the {center.} alignment for the entire piece
As you can see, we are everywhere! It is such a pleasure to read your poems. I could not resist a look at this one because it seemed to announce a certain special thing that occurred on the Wednesday in question. Imagine my surprise then, when I discovered that the poem is timeless and has no relationship whatsoever to "last Wednesday", "this Friday" or any other day!
In the first stanza, there is a very good tempo built up when you use "or" twice or when you use surprising hyphenated words!
In the second stanza, I found some of the metaphors a bit difficult to follow. For example, why "lonely" sky? And what is the "heavy veil" that must be removed by the sky?
All in all, though, this is a marvellous poem. I commend you on your style and have rated you a near-perfect 4.5.
Hello! When you are back from the Convention and have the time to read and reply to all these reviews, please do so: this is a Port Raid review by "The Convention Pirates"!
My name is Taher and I am going to now go in and read your item ...
Hmm ...
This is a nice poem. Graphic by design and says a lot of things within the short format that you have designed for it. Great!
In my opinion, perhaps you went overboard trying to describe Time, the shore, the sea and the sounds ... all in a single sentence! But credit goes to you for the simple language and the profound statement that you have made while drawing up this item.
Just one query: who are the children of Chronos? Are you referring to the past and the present or is it something else?
This story is absolutely flawless ... I think it is a publishable piece of fiction. I am a member of the "Convention Pirates" and this is
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I have read some of your other work in the past, but this is so nice and easily readable that I don't think it can be improved upon ... er ... barring just one thing:
Sure, he got into a few scrapes, what boy didn't? ... I think it should be "which" rather than "what" in this sentence.
I especially liked the following:
You have indirectly conveyed the child's obsessive traits
You have a wonderful insight into the child's mind and how he will try to inveigle himself into getting adopted
Your dialogues are impeccable and need no further changes
Keep writing. Have a great time at the Convention and do write about it after you get back ...
Way to go! Having read and reviewed three of your other items, I hit upon this the last, as I felt there wasw something in it which I would find useful.
In light of what I have just , I must say that I have vindicated myself by being honest (sometimes, brutally so!) in rating and reviewing your items!
Although there is no flaw in this item, I need to know why you put the whole item in italics? is it because it is a "thought", a "soliloquy" of some sort?
I must also point out that "stories.com" ceased to exist a long way back, so you need to edit this item and replace that with "writing.com".
In the end, I must close with this single comment: I wholeheartedly agree with you, but at the same time, it helps to have someone point out typos and other rule mistakes, as your ultimate desire is to get your work published ... and you can't very well do that if the item is full of errors!
This is an intensely personal item, and far be it for me to criticise it for grammatical mistakes or syntax problems. I must say that your buildup and descriptions are done very nicely and the piece deserves the 5.0 rating too!
I am doing this as part of the Port Raid!
I could not understand why you chose an upbeat rose colour to tell us something that was basically sad in nature. Was it because you wanted us to share your happy feelings for Blain? If that is so, I cannot fault you at all. Otherwise, I do think that a plain black would have served you much better than a robust rose!
In the end, I would like to know if Ruth is all right or has she passed to her Maker?
I am Taher, and it is my pleasant task to raid your items while you are busy at the WDC convention. We shall await news from there too!
This is a Port Raid item!
I must say that the entire item is suffused with a light, enjoyable visual treat that made me want to read more about the Pegasus. Your descriptions are glorious and very detailed, as are your comments about the sea, the sky, the cliffs and the rocks etc.
What this item needs is a little tweaking to lift it out of the "mundane" and make it something "special". In other words, it must learn to "fly", much like the protagonist in your story.
I wonder why the words "Pegasus" and "stallion" are continually interchanged. I would prefer if you stuck to either the one or the other. It might help to call the Pegasus something, such as "Stallone" or something ...(LOL, ), so that this uncomfortability is removed once and for all!
The other thing was your discomfort in shifting from a narrative in the present tense and a recall from the past tense. This must be smoothed out. For example, see this:
The Pegasus fought against a black unicorn named Cobalt, but the unicorn won the battle. Now, he is afraid that he would be stranded on this island of sea and grass.
In this para, you have shifted from the past to the present tense, but again reverted to the past tense,and this has made the whole thing confusing. I think you need to correct that. A similar problem while handling the tenses has occured in the very last sentence of the story too.
Also, I found that while one or two paragraphs are spaced from the others with a space of two lines, others haven't been spaced similarly. In fact, the "bad" paragraph lacks the indent too.
This is indeed a lovely composition. Although it is an old poem, I liked its simplicity and at the same time, its wonderful imagery and construction!
Keep writing ... I will swim the seven seas to look for your book when it is finally published ... and will give my right hand to buy it at any cost ...
Hello and welcome to the "Invalid Item" by A Guest Visitor 's reviewing group. Thanks so much for allowing us to read and critique your work. I think you are a gifted poet, but there are some odd words and loose ends in the poem here, leading me to rate you at 3.5.
I hope you take this in the right spirit and try and smoothen the wrinkles.
Overall, the title, the brief description, the layout etc are nice and appropriate.
In line 4, the last word "lay" is incorrect tense. It should be "lies".
Change "I'm" to "I am" in line 7.
Tears cannot "mend" ... this seems to me like taking excessive liberty with the poetic license. Use "hurt" or "fences" or some other word may be more apt here instead of tears.
In line 13, please remove the "of".
In conclusion, this piece has very good emotions, but it lacks usage of good words and proper grammar. Please go through it again and come back to discuss with me!
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Bravo! This is a very, very well-written item indeed. I think you have nicely blended the distant past with the issues relating to the present. Your lists of past writings, your inspirations, the kinds of authors you have read and the music you listen to are evidence of your immense talent and reach! 
You have indirectly conveyed the child's obsessive traits
Overall, the title, the brief description, the layout etc are nice and appropriate.