What a beautiful tribute to your friends. You are truly blessed. I believe we receive the same type of energy we send. This list indicates you gush with positive energy, and here it flows back to you!
Your writing is beautiful. I adore positive energy, and your writing oozes it. In this piece you give lustre to commonness, romance to everyday, wide-eyed wonder to normal. To every person, place, situation, or object you attach fond memories, or at least a positive tone. Your descriptions of things you recall are so vivid they bring back details that would otherwise be lost or overpowered.
The songs and the smells and the foods are all familiar. Thank you for a detour to memory lane. Your mom must love your writing, I hope you've shared it with her.
This is beautiful. The scene at your shower, opening the gift from your mom, was so well described it brought a tear to my eye. The way you connect shower gifts to aspects of your relationship is great insight. I also love the positive light you shed on the trials of marriage. You are realistic without degrading the institution.
If I were to make any suggestion it would be to revisit the piece after a day or so and "clean up" a few sentences (this is nit-picking by the way, but I always try to offer constructive insight where I can).
This is fantastic. I have no knowledge of poetry rules or mechanics, so my rating is based purely on my feelings. I felt moved by a very well crafted work.
I rarely see a poem that flows so smoothly and follows the subject so accurately. This poem does these things without "reaching" for, or "forcing" words purely for rhyme's sake.
I can't imagine the work that went into creating this. I don't see any areas in need of improvement or modification.
I confess I had to look up the definition of "muse". At first, prior to knowing the definition, I thought this was a message to a specific person. I now know it is probably not.
This is one of those personal writings that makes rating it, in the content sense, a non-issue. It is your letter containing what you need to say, how can that be evaluated?
Regarding the quality of writing and the power of the message, your emotion is strongly conveyed. You impart to your reader the importance of writing as your means of self expression. You also share with the reader some personal insight. This allows for understanding and perspective, developing a relationship of sorts between reader and author.
Just as you acknowledge your practice of "getting into someone else's life for a while", this facilitates others doing the same. I suspect many people on WdC relate to your experience and find comfort in that commonality. With certainty, I say at least one person has received inspiration, entertainment, and perspective.
(You may want to look at the public view of this letter. There appears to have been some glitch with "?" appearing in several locations I wouldn't think it was intended.)
My mom tells a similar story of the ice man who delivered his frozen goods to her childhood home. I like stories that provide details of simpler times, before things were so easily gained and lost. Who today would believe an entire livelihood could be earned from such mundane articles?
I admire your use of vocabulary and description. You paint a visible picture with your words. You also make some astute observations for someone who was so young at the time (the man's lack of joy, his fate, the unceremonious nature of his disappearance).
If I were to pick a nit, I would suggest simplification of a few sentences for easier reading (although, as I say, I live in the same glass house so I'm hesitant to throw that stone).
Well written, thought provoking, insightful. Good Work!
This is a very well written story. I find your writing style easy to read and follow. You paid great attention to the details, like her lamp shade collecting the dust when he drilled through the ceiling. I also liked how you delineated between the journal entries and the rest of the story. You gave good insight into a twisted mind justifying and rationalizing ridiculous thoughts.
If I were to offer any suggestion, and this is minimal, it would be to expand the interchange between the judge and the prosecutor as they argue admissability of evidence.
Overall a good read. Nice work!
-Eric
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