This is a good tool for opening your mind up when you have writer's block. It gets you to thinking about other things instead of focusing on the frustration you are experiencing when working on a particular piece and it isn't going anywhere but downhill. It is a nice diversion. Thanks
A great whimsical piece, with undertones of a deeper meaning. I like this a lot. It leads the reader to question just what it is the writer sees, in that split second of time? Is it a cherished memory, or something darker, perhaps deeper? I like poetry that leads the reader to ponder the possibilities . Very well-written. On some level, it tends to remind me of some of Dr. Maya Angelou's earlier work. GREAT JOB! Keep writing. I'd like to read more of your poetry.
Have a wonderful day! :)
Sincerely,
Kimberly D. Huggins (a.k.a. Jackilyn Rodgers)
Nicely written and expressed. We all come to a time and place in our lives where we are called into account for our choices and actions. Regrets will drown a person much faster than water. Instead of "telling", you "showed" how one decision made can have a ripple effect on another person's life. As a writer, that is Rule #1: Show, don't just tell. You have mastered that rule beautifully. I look forward to reading more of your work. You have a gift. Please keep writing. The world is waiting to hear what you have to say.
Have a wonderful day!
Sincerely,
Kimberly D. Huggins (a.k.a Jackilyn Rodgers)
Very well written. The descriptions are such that I feel like I am actually in the woods seeing, smelling, and hearing the life that teems within the forest. I wouldn't change a thing.
I wanted to say thank you for sharing this with the world. Your descriptions are spot on. I could almost feel the warmth, see the fire's soft glow, and smell the smokey, woodsy aroma. I almost wanted to grab a glass of wine and sit down by the fire to rest for awhile......lol! Great job! Keep writing!
Sincerely,
Kimberly D. Huggins (a.k.a. Jackilyn Rodgers)
As someone living with and thriving with bi-polar II disorder, your poem hit home in a most personal manner. Medication has quite literally made a "night and day" difference in the quality of my life and my relationships. At times it is difficult, if not impossible for others to understand what it feels like to live and be affected with this. Thank you for so eloquently explaining the emotions behind the actions. Hang in there. You are in my thoughts and prayers! Thank you for sharing this piece.
It took a lot of courage! Keep writing!
I enjoyed the rhythm and the rhyming in this poem. It reflects on a common theme of today's society: the ever-present cell phone and how we are never far away from it's hypnotic lure. It has worked it's way into almost every facet of our lives and you display this well in your verse. Who can't relate to using their phone to keep track of appointments, friends, news happenings, etc? Very well written and expressed. Keep up the good work! :)
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this excerpt. The stage setting, in the beginning, is a little shaky, with perhaps a bit too much description of the surrounding enviroment, but the reader can sense the panic and desperation of the man as he searches for an appropriate place to dispose of the woman's body. the text leaves the reader wondering how she died, and whether or not the man really did have something to do with it.
The scene in the radio studio is starkly believable. Any female that has ever had to work an overnight shift, by herself, can relate to the multitude of emotions the radio announcer is experiencing. I specially liked the way the tension builds: slowly and consistently, with each verbal turn of the screw. Ratcheting up the sense of urgency that something is about to happen. When she finds the flashlight and shines it at the door, the reader is expecting perhaps a thief, a junkie, or a murderer at the door. It was a nice twist to have her find a spirit of a girl. That keeps the reader on their toes and eager to read further to see what happens next.
I think you have definitely have a story worth further developing here, and I would love to read it, all in one sitting, once it is finished. You seem to have a solid plot line to develop, with believable characters and loads of suspense.
Good luck with this one. You seem to be on the right track. Have a wonderful day! Feel free to look over some of my pieces, as well, and let me know what you think of them. I am always looking for ways to improve my writing. Thanks! :)
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