I want to say reading your story from an old tale that was one of my bed time stories as a little girl helped pass some time away here at work. It was well done and hope to read more of your work. Smiled through ot through the whole time.
Please keep writing.
Justine
Bravo! Just a wonderfully twisted tale you have there. Your description is amazing to read. I could get a clear picture of what the day was like out side. Your conversation with the characters was great. It didn't sound forced but flowed.
Again Bravo!
Justine
I must say it was more then a bit on the eerie side to read. I love a good scary sotry to read and you definitely one spooky story.
Touch of magic, sanity, love and you got one great story to read. I am left wondering if the women comes back.
I love what you are doing with this raffle. Keep it up and I'll come again to get some raffle tickets.
Here is a little something for you. I hope it helps.
Justine
I was interesting how you incorporated the song into the story. I was thinking to myself as I read through the beginning, how sweet loves first crush. I could see the two of them on the couch together. Personally I always wanted Hermione to be Harry's girlfriend, but what can you do.
Justine
I loved your piece on rights and gay marriage. You looked into your facts well. I come from Toronto, Canada where it is legal for gay marriages and it is about time. My father, sister and two of my cousins are gay and that doesn't change a thing. They should have the same laws we are all equal.
Also, a comment back to people about god and gays. Ask them if God makes mistakes. They will of course come back with no. Then that means gay men and women are not mistakes but put here for a reason.
You can point out out same-sex who want child and people are worried about the well fare of those kids. It's not gay people who molest children. That is all for the so called "straight" people for are "normal"
Very nicely done. Was this your first story you posted on the site?
I'm assuming that the girls are all wicca because of this these lines or is she just tring out magic?
" We're going to make medallions to protect us from this thing. We're also going to bells them and cast protection spells. We'll also redo our blood sister oaths, so that they're nice and strong, and better protected. Tomorrow we'll actually start hunting this thing."
Hope you finish it soon because I would like to read the ending.
Justine
A wonderful piece you started out with. I hope to read the rest of it soon. You set the beginning of your story very nicely.
I got a good chuckle from:
"Ari thought he would be glad to be apprenticed to anyone, EVEN Doorn, if only the Prayermakers wouldn't take him away from his beloved village!"
Doorn doesn't seem so bad now does he.
Two quills up!
Justine
Very nicely done. A wonderful romance/ghost story. You could feel for Gabi and her struggle to choose what she wanted. To go to gehanna or stay on earth which to her was hell. It would be a hard one to make. Plus you added some one in her life that is left in the after math of her suicide. I was expecting one of those twists in the end and Aaron was going to be something other than what he was. Maybe a demon that prays on people who have lost deeply and are willing to do anything to get it back.
A defiant two quills up.
Justine
Chapter one is off to a very good start. Sibling rivalry is always fun to read. Also the third in the adventure is a girl that seems to be both the brothers rival. Go girls! I found through reading, it had lost its flow in places. I was stumbling over some of your words. I found your imagery very good. I could play out what was going on in my head. I find story’s hard to get into if I can’t do that. Hope to read your second chapter soon.
Justine
I do have to say it brought a smile to my face that he got what was coming to him. Also loved the fact that magic’s price was that someone you loved was the one who would pay. It wasn’t your normal hocus pocus line.
You could feel for the Isabel and what she had to have gone through. Not only finding out that her husband would use her in that manner, but her best friend had betrayed her also.
I’ll even admit I do love a story with karma in it. Lesson must be learnt.
It’s a story that reminds me of the song from the Dixie Chicks titled Goodbye Earl.
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