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116 Public Reviews Given
462 Total Reviews Given
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26
26
Review by Lana
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a beautifully written piece that I feel had a perfect flow and sequence. The images came perfectly one by one and I felt as if I wanted to be there to hear her sing for her mother. This emotional poem is not only well written, but also imbedded in my mind as a favorite.
27
27
Review of The Abyss  
Review by Lana
Rated: E | (4.5)
The good part about this piece is that I was completely engrossed with my own childhood memories of Sunday school and questions that I too never got real answers for. The imagery was all my own though except for the scene with Zero the dog whom you "showed" a road and truck and described some injuries he had incurred. What I would love to know is what type of dog was he? Did he have shaggy hair and a black ring aroung his eye? Did "mom" have long wavy brown hair and a crooked nose? What did you have to wear to church and what did this nasty preacher look like? Did he have a sneaky grin when he spoke of God killing children?
I did like the piece and you kept me reading the entire time which is a great thing for a writer to achieve. I knew exactly how you felt in the past and present.
The bad thing for me was that the beginng and end didnt coincide with each other. They didn't flow together enough for me. But the first paragraph was a good segway into the childhood memories. I enjoyed it. Keep writing.
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