Hello there,
I'm Mastiff, and I'll be taking a look at your work today. I have to be honest, I'm not a poet, don't know much about poetry, and the rules are much different than other writing. So take everything I say with a grain of salt, or a winter bag of it, knowing these are just my thoughts. I won't do much as far as technical corrections, unless I see something that really sticks out, because the rules are just so different. Thanks for sharing your writing!
Why I chose it: As the poster directly above you, I am shamed? No... Proud! Proud to have to write reviews when I post. Actually, it's a great exercise, and though I have reviewed poems before, it's not my wheelhouse. So, take it for what it's worth!
How it made me feel: Oddly, it made me feel different the first and second time I read it. The first time, it was that, "Oh yeah, true sure, right." If you read an item in my port, there's a good reason why I'd react in that manner. Then, upon the second read, I thought about a story I wrote last month for Twisted Tales. It was all about romance, and it made me wonder about a few things. So, that's a compliment. Any poem that makes you "feel" is a good one. I felt it twice!
Points I thought you made: Sappy love is alive and well? Wasn't much known about our lovers, but we certainly understand how they feel.
Anything Technical:
Stanza- 2 Line 2 & 3 - It's the only punctuation in the poem. I think it would have worked in a story, but it makes readers stop too long. (Told you I was technical) It makes a reader stop a beat and a half, and it's not needed in my opinion. It flows just fine.
Final Thoughts: Best of luck completing the contest!
Thanks again, and happy writing!
Mastiff
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