Wow! Quite descriptive, nice use of language here. I especially like the lines: And she falls asleep in a forgotten corner/of an abandoned hour. That is just... wow, really great! I often feel guilty or doubt myself, and you've taken these ugly feelings and made them into something beautiful. Keep up the good work!
Very nice poem. I especially like the excellent simile of "like the motion of the death of leaves waltzing with the pavement"! That is very well said, and it gives me a beautiful picture in my mind. This is one of the best poems I have read recently. Keep up the good work!
First of all, I totally agree: long hot showers solve many problems!
I especially like the sounds in this poem with the internal rhymes and such, the first few lines "i'm sitting in the shower 'cause i've lost the will to stand/and everything i've planned/is raining down on me today" really pulled me in. This is one of those poems that is even better when read aloud.
Overall, I could relate to this poem quite a bit! It is well written. Keep up the good work!
I've been reading some poems on here tonight, and this is the first one that I actually liked! It is an interesting take on how things are run. I especially like the lines "You amateurs have nothing to go on but pretty/faces and shoelaces." That has a sarcastic tone to it, and flows very well. Keep up the good work!
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