Wow that would be an awful feeling to want someone or to want them back but they dont want you. It would be so complecated. Did you actually exprience this? did you get divorced. Because I dont even wanna get married everyone expects me to but I dont think that I will because I know that it will probably not last with anyone.
Wow that must have been a very nice run through the woods in nature. I love it when it rains and after the dirt smells moist and spicy its so nice and especially on those rainy days i like to read and have a cup of tea and just relax. I really like this poem.
Niiice awsome scene, Blood and gore you should watch the new movie Drive! it has my favourite actor Ryan Gosling he is so sexc, Although I would prefer the cars and money. The script for this movie is awsome theres a scene where the enemies man is after the goodguys love interest and the good guy protectss her by bashing the bad guys brains out of his head so much blood so much gore it is to awsome. I love these types of action movies. But your short story is really good it looks like you put thought into this scene. :D
Makes sence to me but honestly I think I would prefer a Budgie ( a bird type) or a Puppy, I dont really like cats I am told that bad spirits can easly affect them and make them evil or something. Most people dont believe this but I think it could be true I've heard some scary stories about what people have exprienced.
This is a clear story, I new what happened when the boss character said "what did you do to her?" You need a flow to the story, and it can be less pretictable. I mean there are so many movie scenes on this particular topic. The husband comes home from work, and finds his wife cheating and boom shoots her dead. Unfortunately its not very creative, especially if your thinking of writing professionaly and getting your stories published. Readers expect more from new authors today its very competetive in the entertainment sector especially when people hardly read books anymore. The creative story you write has to sweep readers off their feet and take them to a whole other world that they can relate to. Overall a good attempt at writing a story about life and death but it seemed to be more about infedelity driving the main character to insanity, a pretty common plot. You should try and spend more time on your ideas and expand them in your head maybe even create a mind map, and do a pros and cons list about your story ideas(I usually just do it all in my head). As an exercise you can pick out an object or a person and write down multible different plots about the object or person from different aspects in different scenes note down details you can imagine the details or actually use the surrounding you see everyday. these types of exercises can help you be more of a professional writer. Im sorry im rambling on I read a lot of books so im a tough crowd to please. But dont worry with more praactice your writing will get better. :D
Wow cool story lots of action! I enjoyed reading it but I think that the story is good enough to be published, its a pretty logical plot since most of it is a fact technology is taking over, Im on facebook everyday its how people connect now its horrible. So I really enjoyed this story because I could relate to it, as a person who isnt very addicted. I dont like tweet I only tried it once and realised people just write sentences of what they are doing every second of the day way annoying and i only last on facebook for like 2 minutes then I usually use the internet to watch movies and listen to music. But I really would like to read a longer version of this story as a novel. Goodluck with your writing, Im a new member and this story has inspired me to write an action slach scary story. :D
There wasn't a very clear message on what happened was she drugged and assulted while she was sleeping and confused that for a nightmare? Or does she just have nightmares. The story needs to be edited a little to get the message across more clearly because you imply that she was having a nightmare. but the character Boe is there, its not clear whether he did something to her or not.
This is a nice poem about time but I didnt get what the poem was really about, Was it about losing people we love as time passes or was it about the time wasted or gone by each day? It kind of confused me and it did not rime as much as I as a reader would like it to. :)
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