Plot: Great so far- a little slow at the beginning because of all the back story, but the ending is quite suspenseful. Note that your first few paragraphs aren't really all that gripping. Can you think of something that might spice those up (or at least the very first line) a little bit? Of course, they're not THAT uninteresting- they obviously hooked ME...
Scene: You do a good job of setting the scene at the beginning, but after that you kinda leave off giving us details. What does the inside of the cabin look like? You mention the cradle and the table, but is it just a one-room place? What does Seamus and Treasa's (great name, by the way) bedroom look like?
Character Development: You've developed Seamus as a character, mostly through backstory and less through the action that's happening, and even less through personal detail. He's a man of tradition, and he cares about his family. What does he look like? How old is he? You don't have to describe ALL of this now, but some more specific detail would help the reader picture him better.
Grammar, Punctuation, and Style: You seem to use "began to" in a lot of places where the past tense of the verb would work just as well( if not better; eg. "As Séamus began to wash his teeth with the cloth..." --> "As Seamus washed his teeth..."). The official count: you use the word "began" ten times (yeah, I know it doesn't SOUND like a lot, haha).
Favorite parts: I love the climactic part where he hears the screaming. You wrote that scene VERY well. I could feel my pulse rate increase, hee hee.
General comments: You have a fantastic start to a story. The country this chapter is set in sounds beautiful, and it'll be a shame to leave it to come to smelly old industrial America, hee hee. But really, your characters have worlds of potential, and you've set up a nice set of conflicts (both internal and external) to follow up on. One thing I would suggest is that you spread out the backstory a little more, like save some of it for other chapters. I got really bogged down reading through all that. To me, back story is only interesting when I'm already attached to the character. I mean, if a random person on the street started showing you pictures of their grandchildren, you would be like, "Oh, that's nice...um..." But when a close friend wants to share things with you, you are (usually...sometimes...) more interested, because you know it's important to them that they tell you- and you can empathize with them. I...hope that makes sense. Haha.
Anyway, excellent job. I'd definitely read the next chapter of this story.
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"I am not cruel, only truthful." -SP
My cup of opinions runneth over, so feel free to ignore me.
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Some specific suggestions:
"The cabin was not any more lavish inside than out, although much warmer. To the right lay young Connell..." To the right of the cabin?
"Positioned next to the cradle, the Kelley’s table..." Do you mean "Positioned next to the cradle WAS the KELLEYS' table..."?
"It was a discussion they had all too often any more." --> "It was a discussion they had too often these days."?
"He had his own reasons for wanting to stay." Kinda sounds like you mean wanting to stay in AMERICA as opposed to Eire.
"...just as his father had, just as his grandfather had." --> "...just as his FATHER'S had, just as his GRANDFATHER'S had." (since you're talking about the land, not the people)
"His father had taught him to never show weakness to the invaders..." --> "never to show"
"Maybe Treasa was right about life being easier in America he thought..." Maybe italicize the thought? Also needs a comma between America and he.
"In the past he had had problems with wolves taking sheep from the flock during the night, both the four and two legged kind." I THINK (could be wrong) you mean four- and two-legged WOLVES, but the way you have the sentence set up, it seems like the four- and two-legged refers to the animals in the flock- and for a moment I thought...he has two-legged sheep?
"Latching the gate securely he drove the herd, retracing the steps he had taken moments earlier, and rounding the cabin, now on his way to the ‘early-summer’ pasture." - I think the verb tenses in this sentence are a little quirky. Is this what you mean: "Latching the gate securely, he drove the herd back the way he had come. Rounding the cabin, they were now on their way to the 'early-summer' pasture."?
"He knew it to be his favorite grazing land..." - Do you mean "He knew it was THEIR favorite grazing land..."? Oh, no, you apparently do mean HIS. Well of course if it's his favorite grazing land then he "knows it to be." Why not just "It was his favorite place to let them graze?" (to also remove the ambiguity about him liking to graze in a particular pasture...)
"...at the cost of only a brief fifteen minute walk." only, brief, and fifteen-minute - Consider taking "brief" out- I think most people will realize that a fifteen-minute walk is pretty short.
"Upon reaching the pasture Séamus set out to dispersing the flock..." Do you mean "set ABOUT dispersing the flock?"
"Leaving plenty of time to contemplate and reflect, while keeping a watch over the herd." This is a fragment of a sentence- consider revising.
"His thoughts wondered to and fro..." Do you mean "wandered"? Though I do really like "wondered to and fro"...that's a unique way to say it...
"Even now he recalled knowing that..." That's an awkward phrase. Why not, "He recalled that..."? Or "He still remembered that..."? On another note, the rest of that sentence is a little long and clunky- consider making two sentences out of it.
"It was slower work getting the flock back, now on a full stomach..." How did his stomach get full? He never ate anything, as far as you told us or allowed us to infer. He woke up, quickly began rounding up the sheep, and began driving them back to the paddock. Oh, the end of that sentence says he's still hungry. I'm not sure what you mean by "now on a full stomach" then.
"...the adrenalin running threw Séamus’ veins..." It's "adrenaline," unless "adrenalin is an alternate spelling I'm just not aware of...And "through".
"...Connell’s cradle over turned..." Overturned is one word, methinks.
"Séamus’ fear and anxiety was immediately replaced with hatred and anger..." WERE immediately replaced...
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I remember wanting to write a story for this Writer's Cramp prompt, but I ended up not having time :( I also thought the style you wrote it in was weird and unique and fun to read- kinda stream-of-consciousness mixed with storytelling, haha.
