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Rated: 18+ · Poetry · Comedy · #1447529
destiny dances with Ben Langhinrichs ~ 18+ companion sonnets
"It Can't Be Me"   by Ben Langhinrichs

When dinner comes, and I am still not there
Or walk in way too late without excuse
You rant and rave and tear out all your hair
I can't believe I live with such abuse!

The lawn's not mown, the kids are grown, and still
I lounge and scrounge and never lift a hand
Your voice raised high, you're getting very shrill
How can you be so mad when I'm so bland?

I lost my job last week and you went nuts
My boss said I'm a slacker and a thief
You say we're through - you know that really cuts
You dramatize, I roll my eyes - good grief!

What can I do? It must be you, you see.
I shrug and leave, I'm sure it can't be me.

"It's Probably You"   by destinydances

When we first met you walked me home from school
The sunlight dappled in our springtime eyes.
I thought it sweet 'cause you were just so cool,
The naughty boy the teachers all despised.

Our love began to blossom on that day;
My girly heart found you misunderstood.
So when my Dad said you should stay away
I followed my own heart as any would.

We ran away, were married at eighteen.
I birthed your children and you searched for jobs.
You drank beer on the sofa in between
And I disturbed the neighbors with my sobs.

The kids are grown at last now you must leave.
Then I can freely boink your ex-boss, Steve.

"Glad it won't be me"   by Ben Langhinrichs

I left you yesterday and don’t you know
By noon, you’d called and made a date with Steve.
That hypocrite! But I have got his dough,
And I’m more glad than ever I did leave.

I think you thought that I’d be boiling mad
At how you made me look the fool with him
But though I’m hiding it, I’m rather glad
That you’ve gone on to him with vengeful whim.

Your sad pathetic effort to make me
A jealous wreck will falter from the start
‘Cause who is laughing last we soon shall see
You might find out you’re not so very smart.

(A shame you don’t know Steve’s ex-wife Louise
She left when he gave her those STDs)

"Oh Yeah?"   by destinydances

I bet you're really feeling pretty smug
Now thinking that you got the best of me.
While most our dirt remains under the rug,
There's plenty still on top for all to see -

Except for you! These years so unaware,
Reclining in your boxers watching tv...
Of course I don't expect you now to care
About anything, least of all not me.

My Dad likes to remind me "told you so,"
But wonders if I miss you now you're gone.
I guess this much you really oughta know:
You need to get your clothes from off my lawn.

I see the STD thing made you smile...
You should know, I've been doing Steve awhile.

"The Fam'ly Man"   by Ben Langhinrichs

Six months have gone by since you had your laugh
The crabs have come and gone, but I’m still sore
There aren’t too may scabbies on my shaft
But syphilis’ more painful than before.

The only thing which makes my pain grow less
Is knowing that you share my aches with me
Your father always argued with distress
That I should share your burdens, don’t you see?

He never thought that I’d amount to much
He didn’t think a “fam’ly man” I’d make
So as my fam’ly jewels in pain I clutch,
I’m glad to know his guess was a mistake.

I’m sure you think I’ve earned my sorry fate,
But tell that to your pretty sister, Kate.

"The Family"   by destinydances

So many months since your last hateful note
I thought perhaps that you'd forgotten me.
At times I reread ev'rything you wrote -
It was the most you've ever talked to me.

I'd heard about your painful, nappy sac
(Don't kid yourself, there isn't any "jewels")
From my dear sister, Kate, a few weeks back.
(And then she said, "So gross, he even drools.")

It's nice that you recall me when you're sick,
And that you fancy me to have a laugh.
But when you're searching for a scab to pick,
You better just stick to your ailing shaft.

I'll leave you with this thought to ponder on:
Whatever you gave Kate she gives your Mom.

"All is forgiven"   by Ben Langhinrichs

Hey, babe, I thought I’d get in touch with you
To say I’m sorry ‘bout the things I said.
We both have made mistakes, and not a few
(And you were pretty wonderful in bed.)

I never really liked your sister, Hon,
She just seemed hot when I’d had too much beer
I boinked her twice but never missed her once
I’ll stay away from her now, never fear.

As for my mom, Kate’s welcome to the hag
She’s never nice to me, not like you were
(And even ‘fore her tits did start to sag
My Dad had better taste and wouldn’t do‘er.)

So, babe, for just one night I need to crash
At your place. Hon, have you got any cash?

"Forgiveness"   by destinydances

I know I've been your stove, and you my coal ~
Your words have touched me to "remember when" ~
And though I've felt the Winter in my soul,
I fancy that I hear Spring birds again.

Remember that May night out in the tent?
That mem'ry of you won't leave me alone.
You gazed at me and said, "What is that scent?...
Mmmmm, I know, babe, I think I smell a bone."

It's hard not to remember certain things ~
The moments that we shared when two are one.
I'm awed at all the changes absence brings
And wonder if our hurts can be undone.

Come hither, Love, if you are not too sore ~
I keep my cash inside my "private drawers."

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