by super sleuth
Jessica's Bridal Shower, Pugsley's Bachelor Party
|"What do you mean they're not coming? The Bridal Shower is tonight. I'v reserved one of the country club's convention rooms. You can't have a party without the groom's family. Jessica are you listening?"
"Yes, Aunt Margaret. I have heard everything you've said, and memorized it. Fifty of our friends and family have accepted, that is plenty. I think Wednesday's Birthing Day is more important than my Bridal Shower. After all, it is Mr. and Mrs. Addams first grandchild. They have just become grandparents. It is an exciting chapter in their lives. They have assured me they will be here the week before our wedding. Wednesday will be well enough to travel by then. I am so anxious to see the baby, I wonder who it will look like? Just think, in another three weeks I will not only be Mrs. Pugsley Addams, but I will also become an aunt."
"I still think that little chit could have held off until after your shower."
"Auntie, what a terrible thing to say. Don't you remember back when I was born, how happy and excited the family was? I've seen all the numerous photos. I was passed around from person to person. Everyone looked so happy. Don't begrudge Morticia and Gomez that feeling of jubilation."
"Well, I suppose you're right. It's just that I want everything to be so perfect for you. I've raised you since you were a young child, after your parents died in that terrible car crash. You mean so much to me Jessica."
"I know Aunt Margaret, and you mean everything to me too. Let's not dawdle any longer, I have to start getting ready. I hope Pugsley will have a good time at his Bachelor Party. I pray Uncle Johnny, and Uncle Peter behave themselves. You know how much they like their liquor. My poor Puggles, I do hope they don't get him too sloshed, he's such an innocent."
"Jessica, I doubt he is as innocent as you think. Look where he grew up, this place is depressing. It's like living in a Museum of Horrors."
"I happen to like it. All this place needs is some tender loving care, and some beautiful flowers. Did you see those magnificent black roses growing in the hot house. They are the darkest black I have ever seen, it's like touching black velvet. The thorns however, are huge and very dangerous. I have never seen such a color, I wonder if Morticia has a name for them? She calls her man-eating plant, Cleopatra. I dare not get too close. I've forbidden the new caretaker to go near it, and I've had Pugsley put up a barrier around it."
"What do you mean by man-eating plant?"
"It too is in the hot house. Pugsley says he feeds it a rat twice a week. It is very exotic looking and huge. It looks just like a Venus Fly Trap, only a lot bigger. I doubt a thousand flies could satisfy it."
"My word Jessica, have you lost your marbles? You almost sound like you like that monstrosity."
"Oh! I do. It is so unique. I know of no one else who has one like it. I can almost hear it speak to me. It seems so...alive."
"It's probably trying to lure you closer, so it can eat you for dinner. You stay away from it Jessica. Jessica, are you listening?"
"Did you hear that Aunt Margaret?"
"No, hear what?"
"Never mind, it's only Thing bringing in the mail. He always leaves it on the entry hall table."
"Thing, what thing? Who is this thing?"
"I'm not quite sure, I have yet to meet him. Pugsley says he is quite shy, and will show himself when he feels more comfortable around us."
"What does he do here?"
"Supposedly, he just lends a hand wherever, and whenever it's needed."
"Will he be living here after the wedding?"
"Oh yes! Thing is quite helpful. If I need anything done, all I have to do, is talk into any of the small boxes scattered around the house. I don't even have to raise my voice. He keeps this place absolutely beautiful. I have yet to dust anything at all. He likes a clean house. Pugsley did say that Thing can't lift anything too heavy, I assume he must be very old. All the heavy lifting is done by Lurch. Lurch is very strong."
"Jessica, what do you mean by, 'talking into a box', you do mean 'leave a note', yes?"
"No, apparently it is how everyone communicates with Thing. Kind of like a telephone, only different. Once I finally get to meet Thing, I hope he will explain it to me, then I can explain it to you. Enough of this chit-chat, we have a party to go to."
"Mr. Holmes, so glad you could make it to my Bachelor Party. I was told you had gone back to London."
"I did. I had some cases I was investigating, that needed closure. I can assure you I am looking forward to this party, and your wedding on October 31. My good friend Harold will also be joining us. You remember him, don't you? He is the lawyer that handled the sale of your home to Mr. Beals."
"I'm afraid I don't. My father handled everything without my knowledge, or approval. It was my duty, just to accept the terms. I was against being forced to marry someone I'd never met, just to be able to continue living in my family home. Do you believe in love at first sight, Mr. Holmes?"
"You know, I never thought about it, but then I've yet to meet the woman of my dreams."
"I have. A month before the final signing of the contracts, Jessica's Uncle Clarence, handed me a photo of a young sixteen year old girl. He was so proud of her. She was sitting on a swing, laughing. I was so entranced with the girl, I didn't want to give the photo back. Before handing it back to him, I memorized every feature on that adorable face. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail, her eyes...ah yes, those eyes. I remember thinking about my family, all our eyes are brown, or a very dark blue, almost black. Even though the photo was black and white, I could tell her eyes were very light. I had no Idea at the time they were sea green, with a golden brown ring around the pupils. I knew about my father's insistence I marry Mr. Beals niece, but I didn't know it was Jessica. I had fallen madly in love with the girl in the photo. I dreamed about her every night. It tormented me that she was so young, still a child. Here I was in my late twenties, mooning over a child I had only seen in a photo. I wanted to scare Jessica away. Make her not want the house. But my father is a very shrewd man. If Jessica didn't want the house, or the marriage, the house would be torn down. It was a no win situation. That's how I saw it then. Now, I have gained something more precious than the house, Jessica."
"My dear boy, I can see why you would be in turmoil, but it seems father knew best after all."
"I must confess, I watched Jessica, and her Aunt Margaret get out of the cab with you. I recognized her immediately. She was the girl in the photo, all grown up. My heart damn near jumped out of my chest with joy, I had to force myself to breathe. Her silky blond hair glistened like a golden Halo in the bright sun. You took her arm and helped her walk up the drive. I wondered who you were? Were you her boyfriend? I would have challenged you to a duel. I am very proficient in every piece of weaponry in that house. My father insisted we all learn. Nothing in that house was meant to be just a museum piece. The first time I held a sword, I was three years old."
"My father also taught me everything I know. In our line of work we need to be able to handle ourselves in any situation. Besides knowing how to protect myself, he taught me science, chemistry, and to be observant. I can see in your eyes how you feel about Jessica every time you look at her. Beware, a love that powerful can be very dangerous. Jealousy, is like a poison that can infect every thought process. If you truly love her, and she loves you, give her space. Shower her with your love, and affection, but don't try to possess her. She is a free thinking woman, and will grow to resent you if you do. Enough of this serious talk, let us join the merriment, besides I could use a drink."
"Gentlemen, I am not family, just a friend of the bride and groom. I would like to make a toast in honor of their up coming nuptials. To our fathers, who are wise beyond our imaginations. To the future, wherever it may lead us. And mostly to Jessica and Pugsley, may they continue to love each other, no matter what."
"I'll drink to that Mr. Holmes, it was a wonderful toast. Thank you."
"Call me Sherlock, we are friends after all, right?"
"You are so right Mr. Holmes, sorry... Sherlock."
"Look, here comes Harold."
"Sherlock, good to see you're here already."
"I came early to talk with Pugsley. Let me introduce you two properly. Harold, this is Pugsley Addams. Pugsley, this is my good friend Harold Higgins. We have known each other since childhood. Harold and I used to get into all kinds of mischief in school. It's a miracle we weren't expelled."
"No, not a miracle, it was Sherlock's father that enabled us to remain in school. That man was a genius with words. He could have been a brilliant lawyer. It was because of him that I came to America and went to Harvard Law School. It wasn't until we were about eleven or twelve that we finally settled down. Sherlock started taking more interest in his father's business. Sherlock Sr. took us both under his wing. I learned more from him than I ever did in school. Book knowledge is important, but knowing how to use what you've learned, is astonishing."
"What about you Pugsley? What kind of child were you?"
"I did not have a normal childhood. When you finally get to meet my family, you will know why. I was a chubby little boy, yet very energetic, and athletic. I never thought my home life unusual, until I went to school. My sister takes after my mother. Beautiful, but strangely indifferent to everything around her, set in her ways. There is this air of mystery that surrounds them both. We grew up knowing how to defend ourselves, my dad made sure we could. He taught us everything, from boxing, to Ti Kwan Do. You name it, we learned it. He made everything we learned, so much fun.
Wednesday was not like other children, more secretive, reclusive. At first she was teased, she quickly put a stop to that. 'Don't mess with that Addams girl', went around school quickly enough. I on the other hand, had quite a few friends. They especially loved coming here at Halloween. Little did they know, to us Halloween was just another day. Would I like my children to grow up here? Definitely. But I also want them to know how other people live. I hope to travel a lot with Jessica and our future children. Bartender, another round please."
"Pugsley, dear boy. So nice of you to invite Peter and me to your party. Is this place new? We've never been here before. The Tipsy Pig, an interesting name. Very appropriate for this occasion, I'm feeling a little tipsy myself. The food is absolutely delicious. Their Huevos Rancheros is the best I've ever tasted. Have you tried their Fort Point Beer? Peter is enjoying the Grey Goose Martini. I have a feeling we'll be needing a cab to get him home."
"No, the place is not new, and I haven't tried their beer. I enjoy their Moscow Mule, Jessica prefers their Strawberry Fields cocktail. There will be a band here shortly, they're setting up in the outdoor patio. We have the room until eleven o'clock tonight. So everyone eat, drink, and if you feel sick, please use the facilities in the rear."
"Jessica, you look absolutely radiant."
"Thank you Aunt Rose, you look fabulous as always."
"I know! I've got a new hairdresser, Felicia, she's marvelous with my hair. She's new at the salon, came all the way from New York City. Wait until you see your Cousin Clarissa, the baby is due the end of November. You would never know she was 7 months along. Caroline sprained her ankle yesterday playing baseball with her boys. Once she gets them settled with the babysitter she'll be along. Geoffrey will drop her off, then head out to Pugsley's party, said she wouldn't miss your shower for anything. She told me, between the pain killers, and the crutches, she'll be fine. I believe her. Look here comes Alice. Yoo Hoo! Alice, over here."
"Jessica, this place looks fabulous. Will you be holding the reception here too?"
"Yes Alice, this place is beautiful. Since the wedding is on Halloween, I've asked the event coordinator to decorate for the season. I want lots of beautiful fall colors, to match the Bridesmaids dresses. They said that it wouldn't be a problem, because the night before,the wedding, they are hosting a Halloween Party. There will be pumpkin centerpieces with scary faces. I do hope there is a scarecrow surrounded by cornstalk bundles. Maybe even a few skeletons hanging around. There will be punch served out of a cauldron instead of a bowl. There will also be non-alcoholic punch for the little ones."The servers will all be wearing costumes."
"You're really getting into the Halloween spirit. But this is a wedding. Shouldn't it be elegant like this Bridal Shower?"
"This was all Aunt Margaret's doing, and she did a fabulous job with the planning. However, my favorite time of year is in the Fall. I especially love Halloween. I remember every costume I ever wore Trick or Treating. I loved getting dressed up and wearing scary make-up. Normally, Aunt Margaret forbid me the use of any make-up, except for Halloween. Collecting the candy was fun, but it was being a part of the mystery of Halloween that excited me. No one knew who I was. I think that is why I love my new home. It is like having Halloween all year long."
"You mean to tell us, you actually like living in that monstrosity of a house?"
"Well, I don't live in it yet. Not until after the Honeymoon. I still live with Aunt Margaret. I do, however, spend a lot of time there. There is so much to do to get it ready. The gardens are coming along nicely. The new gardener is a gem. I've left Mr. and Mrs. Addams's room untouched, so when they visit they will feel welcome. I've had Pugsley get the family crib down from the attic and put it in Wednesday's room. I asked Thing to clean it up for the new baby, and he did a beautiful job."
"Baby, what baby? Jessica are you pregnant?"
"No! Heavens no, cousin. Pugsley's sister Wednesday, had a baby boy on Tuesday. They named him Witt Itt. I have a feeling he is going to get teased a lot in school, poor child. Pugsley and I will stay in his room. We replaced his old twin bed with a new queen sized bed. Uncle Fester prefers to live in the basement. Morticia said he will be quite comfortable there. Grandmama's room has been prepared for her. Thing keeps everything so nice. It's a good thing it's a big house, or I wouldn't know where to put everyone."
"Who is this fabulous Thing, I keep hearing about? Does he hire himself out?"
"I don't think so, he is very reclusive. I haven't met him yet."
"That's too bad, it is so very hard to find good help now a days."
"Oh look, here comes Caroline, crutches and all. Just in time. I think Aunt Margaret wants to get things going. Just look at all those gifts. Geoffrey, how nice to see you. Thanks so much for bringing Caroline.
"No problem, anything for you Jessica. Well, I better get going. Don't want to miss Pugsley's Bachelor Party. I'll be back for Caroline. Don't worry Jessica, I've already promised Caroline I wouldn't drink too much."
"Thank you Geoffrey, that takes a load off my mind, I just hope Pugsley does the same.Take care Geoffrey, drive safe."
"Will do, see you later Jess."
"Hello, you must be Jessica. I'm Ophelia Frump, Morticia's sister, and this is our mother Hester Frump. She prefers to be called Fanny."
"I am so glad you came. Aunt Margaret will be happy to know that someone from Pugsley's family could make it."
"We were going to go to Transylvania for the baby's birth, but we changed our plans at the last minute. Since everyone is coming here for the wedding, we decided to come here instead and meet the new future Mrs. Addams."
"Come, let me introduce you to my Aunt Margaret. She will be so delighted you came. She will introduce you to my family. I see someone else is at the door, please excuse me."
"Hello, I'm Marilyn Munster, Eddie's cousin."
"Oh yes. Glad you could make it. Eddie has mentioned you several times. It's so nice to finally meet you."
"I hope you don't believe everything Eddie says. He likes to tell tall tales, if you know what I mean.
"Don't worry, I've come to understand him quite well these last few months. Are you bringing a date to the wedding?"
"Not to worry, I'll make sure to seat you at a table with all the single gentlemen, and ladies."
"I would really like that."
"Come on, let me introduce you to my Aunt Margaret."
"Geoffrey, glad you could make it. Jessica called to let me know you were on your way. How is Caroline's ankle? Will she be well enough to be Jessica's Matron-of-Honor?"
"She would crawl on her hands and knees down the aisle if she had to. Hopefully it won't come to that. Is your sister going to be in the wedding party?"
"Unfortunately no. She just had a baby, and it was too late to try and have a dress fitted for her.
Besides, she will have her hands full with the new baby."
"That's too bad."
"Oh look! Here comes Eddie Munster, I went to school with him."
"Hi Eddie, this is Geoffrey Cambridge. His wife Caroline, is Jessica's Matron-of-Honor."
"Nice to meet you Goeffrey."
"Same here. Well, I'm sure you two have some things to sort out so I'm going to get myself a virgin daiquiri. I promised my wife I wouldn't drink. She sprained her ankle, and said she wouldn't ride with me if I got drunk."
"You can at least enjoy the music. Keep an eye on Jessica's Uncle Peter, and Uncle John."
"Will do, catch up with you later."
"Eddie, I thought you went with your family to Transylvania to visit with my parents, and see the new baby?"
"Nah, Marilyn and I stayed home. It cost too much to go. What do I care about babies. Besides I'm saving my money to buy this souped up cycle. It's decorated like a bat on wheels, and it pulls a matching coffin behind it. Just think I can travel in style wherever I go. I won't even have to worry about motels. I'll have my bed with me. I can store all my belongings in the coffin while I'm traveling. When I get to one of the camp grounds, I'll just unload it, set up my tent, over my bike and coffin. There you have it, instant motel. I got it all figured out."
"Are you sure you want to travel by cycle?"
"Yep, I want to tour the country, there is so much to see."
"But wouldn't a car be more comfortable? You could buy one of those suburbans and still bring your coffin with you."
"I could, but I't wouldn't be as cool. The first trip I take will be to Sturgis during bike week. Now you tell me that wouldn't be awesome. Oh, by the way, this is for you. I never thought you'd tie the knot, so I got you something to remember us single guys."
"What is it?"
"Nothing much, just a key chain with you, me, and the rest of our dorm mates. I wanted you to remember all the fun we had, and all the trouble we got into at UCLA."
"Thanks, I'll put my keys on it as soon as I get a chance. Are you bringing a date to the wedding?"
"Nah, I'm stuck with my cousin Marilyn. She can't seem to keep a boyfriend for very long. I just dropped her off at the country club. By the way, my parents are coming home next week, so they will definitely be at the wedding."
"I'll tell Jessica tonight. Did the outfit I sent you for the wedding fit.?"
"It did, I love it. Black becomes me, and the satin, pumpkin colored vest is absolutely my style. You sure know what I like."
"Anything for my Best Man. You'll know Caroline as soon as you see her. Her dress will match your vest."
"Come along, lets go to the outside patio bar and join the party. I think every one is here. I could use another Moscow Mule."
"I think I'll try their Fort Point Beer, I hear it's very good."
"Jessica, how on earth are we going to get all of these gifts home?"
"I'll go and call Pugsley again, and see if there is any one still sober enough to drive. If so they can stop by here and help transport all the gifts."
"I made a list of everything you received, and who gave it to you as you opened each gift. If there was a card with the gift, I put it in the appropriate box. Hopefully nothing will get mixed up in transport."
"Thank you Aunt Margaret, that will be very helpful when I write out the thank you cards."
Do you have any change on you? I've already gone through all mine. The public telephone has already eaten up all my coins. I can't wait to get one of those new telephones I see advertised. You know the ones I mean, the ones you can carry in your purse."
"How much will you need Jessica?"
"I'm not sure, it all depends on how long it takes to reach Pugsley. The phone is behind the bar. If the bartender is busy it may take awhile for him to answer. Then he has to make an announcement that there is a call for Pugsley. Hopefully there won't be too much noise, and he'll get the message quickly. It's the waiting that makes the call expensive. I think a dollar will do. Do you have any nickles and dimes?"
"Let me get my purse. Ah, here it is. I only have 85 cents."
"Maybe it will be enough. I'll be back as quickly as I can."
"Thank you for calling The Tipsy Pig, this is Chuck speaking."
"I'm sorry to bother you Chuck, this is Jessica Beals again. I need to speak with Pugsley, it's very important."
"No need to apologize Jessica, you can call here anytime. You and Pugs are my favorite customers. It's starting to slow down in here anyway, and it will be nice to get out from behind this bar. You just hang on and I'll go get him myself."
"Thank you Chuck, I'll make sure Pugsley gives you an extra big tip for being so nice."
"That's not necessary, but the thought is appreciated. I'll go get him."
"Yo! Pugsley. That beautiful fiance of yours is on the phone, she said it's important."
"Thanks Chuck, I'll be right there."
"Jessica, is there something wrong?"
"No, but I do have a problem. Is there anyone there besides Geoffrey sober enough to drive?"
"Yeah, there's me."
"Are you sure? I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you on the way back here."
"Don't worry Jess, I took a cab here and I will ride back with Geoffrey. I left you the truck, it's in the parking lot."
"Thank Heavens, I was so worried about you."
"Aw! That's so sweet, no wonder I love you."
"You just solved both my problems."
"What was the second problem?"
"There are so many gifts, I didn't know how I was going to get them back to our home."
"You just sit tight, and when Geoffrey and I get there we will load everything into the back of the truck. If it doesn't all fit, we'll put the rest in his van."
"Oh, I almost forgot. Please make sure to leave Chuck a nice big tip. He has been so gracious about me making so many phone calls.?'
"Will do. Love you Jess, see you around 11:30. I have to make sure your uncles get home safely."
"Thank you for that too. See you soon, bye"
"Well were you able to reach him?"
"Yes Aunt Margaret. Pugsley left the truck here. He took a cab to The Tipsy Pig. Geoffrey will drive him here and they will take care of all the gifts. And before you ask, yes they are both sober. Pugsley said he will make sure Uncle Fred and Uncle John get home safely. Now, shall we get back to our guests?"
"Marilyn, are you enjoying yourself? I hope you don't feel slighted. This party has been keeping me very occupied."
"Not at all Jessica, I am just in awe about the whole thing. I want to get married so bad, but I just keep scaring all my boyfriends away. I must be so ugly. I'm lucky if I get a second date."
"You're not ugly Marilyn, you're absolutely gorgeous."
"Thanks for trying to make me feel better, but if I was, I'd be married by now. I'm thirty six years old and can't keep a boyfriend."
"Maybe you'll find someone at the wedding."
"Do you think so?"
"We can only hope. Before I met Pugsley, I was bound and determined to remain single. I am a wealthy woman. I didn't want a man marrying me for my money, and then squandering it on whiskey and gambling. So when I was forced into this marriage, I was outraged."
"What do you mean forced?"
"You see, my Uncle Clarence, and Mr. Addams cooked up this scheme. He sold my uncle their house for paltry ten thousand dollars, with the stipulation that I had to marry his son. My uncle immediately put the house in my name. He wanted me to have a home of my own. If I didn't marry Pugsley, or want the house then it would be torn down. Pugsly was furious when he found out he was being forced to marry a stranger, and risk losing his home."
"So this was an arranged marriage, and you don't really love each other?"
"Oh no, quite the opposite. Before I made any decisions, I wanted to see the house I inherited that everyone said was haunted. It was there that I met Pugsley. He introduced himself to me, and took me on a tour of the house, and grounds. We must have talked for hours. We also talked about not wanting to get married, and that we would like to strangle our families for putting us in this position. Before I knew it, I was head over heels in love with him. He is nothing like all the other men I've dated. He is so...normal, down to earth."
"I wish someone would arrange me a marriage."
"Jessica, we couldn't help overhearing your conversation. Is it all true?"
"Yes, it is Ophelia."
"That scoundrel Gomez, playing chess with other peoples lives. Did you know that he was originally supposed to marry me? The marriage had been arranged by our families. Everything was settled."
"Yes, my sister. She came sashaying down the stairs in that skintight black dress of hers and stole his heart. It was just that quick. He said it was love at first sight. I was mortified. I've never forgiven them."
"Is that why you didn't go to Transylvania to see Wednesday, and the baby?
"Mostly, don't get me wrong, I love my sister, but the hurt is still strong even after all these years. Believe me, it is not easy to find a husband. I have become so cynical when it comes to men, I don't trust them at all. I just couldn't face seeing Gomez and Morticia fawning over their grandchild. You see, I love Wednesday, and Pugsley, they should both have been mine."
"Does Morticia know how you feel?"
"I'm sure she does. We keep in touch, but we're not close like we once were."
"At least you have a sister, and your mother. I have no one, except for Aunt Margaret. My Parents were killed in an accident when I was just a child. Aunt Margaret is my mother's sister, they were twins. Aunt Magaret married Justin Beals my Father's cousin. She took me in, and loved me like I were her own daughter. My Uncle Clarence was my father's brother, he never married. He adored me too. I miss him. If not for him I wouldn't have met Pugsley. He was murdered because he bought the house from Mr. Addams."
"Oh my dear, I am so sorry. You must hate Gomez. If not for him your uncle might still be alive."
"Heavens no, It's not his fault. He wanted a wife for his son, and a grandson to carry on the family name. I can't hate him for that. I don't condone his method, but he didn't kill my uncle. Greed killed my uncle. Maybe I should blame the city of Los Angelas, they want to build a school there. They even hired a contractor to tear down all the houses in the neighborhood. The contractor, Mr. Gringe, stood to loose a lot of revenue if he didn't acquire the Addams's house, and property. So he hired two thugs to murder my uncle. What they didn't know, was my uncle no longer owned the property, I do. So you see, they murdered him for naught, they should have murdered me instead. That's why, after the wedding, my lawyer Mr. Harold Higgins will add Pugsley's name to the deed and file it with the city. Thankfully, between our friend Mr. Sherlock Holmes and the LAPD, the three criminals are in custody without bail."
"Oh Jessica, how terrible it must have been for you. If you ever need anything at all please give mom and me a call. You know how to reach us."
"May I call you Aunt Ophelia?"
"Oh my, now I'm going to cry. Do you have a hanky in your bag Mama?"
"Here you go dear."
"Thank you Mama."
"I have an idea. Why don't the five of us do lunch some time next week. It will help Aunt Margaret get to know the three of you better."
"That is such a grand idea. Mother are you up for it?"
"Of course I am. I may be old, but I've still got a lot of life in these old bones."
"Wonderful, what about you Marilyn, care to join us?"
"Count me in, there's no one waiting for me at home, so I might as well enjoy myself."
"Excellent! I'll contact all of you with the details."
"My goodness, the time has passed so quickly. Look, the men have arrived, and they don't look too inebriated. Caroline was so worried Geoffrey wouldn't keep his promise not to drink too much. I guess he did keep his promise after all. She's so lucky to have found such a nice guy."
"Geoffrey, Pugsley, the gifts are up on the platform. I'll let you two figure out whose vehicle it will all fit in. Now be very careful, there are gift cards inside each box. DO NOT! under any circumstances, mix-up the cards and the boxes, or I will be sending out thank you cards to the wrong people. And please, DO NOT! lose or break anything."
"Hey Geoffey, has she always been this bossy? Is there anything I should know about her, before we tie the knot?"
"Not to worry. Jess is a pussycat. Just remember, she was bound and determined never to get married. She knows who she is, she's confident, can stand on her own if she has to. She doesn't need a man to complete her. If you remember that, you'll be fine."
"What do you mean by, I'll be fine?"
"Pugs, she's a woman."
"I know that."
"Good, don't forget it."
"Well, that's the last of it. Shall we go collect the ladies?"