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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2252661-some-witty-poems
Rated: 18+ · Poetry · Dark · #2252661
several witty poems
Limerick:

Limerick Info President Trump Taking His Morning Dump Limerick

President Trump is taking his morning dump
While watching the news sitting on his rump,
firing off daily tweets
filled with hatred and heat
In the end, a toxic waste dump.

President Trump Blew on his Trumpet Chastushka

President Trump
Blew on his trumpet,
While taking his morning dump,
He had to pump it.


Donald Trump Clerihew
Donald Trump Clerihew Short Form
Donald Trump Clerihew Trump

Donald Trump
Sat on his throne having a dump.

President Biden
Did not know where to Hide in.


One Star Poetry (SLAM):

Snarling cup of coffee One Star Slam reprised


I like to start my day with a hot cup of Sarcastic, Snarling, Sassy, Sizzling, Snarky, Smarmy coffee
I pound down the coffee
First thing I do every day as the dawning sunlight
Lights up my lonesome room

Yeah, but not just a simple cup of java Joe, but God damn coffee

I mean, - we are talking about a

Alcoholic, all speed ahead, Arabic, aromatic, angry, Allah and Mohamed,
Beats breaking, beatnik, bitter, bitchy,
Bombs away, Berkeley approved, bluesy, Brazilian, Buddhist,
Caffe Bene, Café allegro in Seattle, Café Med in Berkeley, Christian, coffee bean, cowabunga, communistic and capitalistic, Colombian grown, Costa Rica Grown, crazy assed, civet cat shit produced, crazed, Cthulhu,
Delicious, divine, devilishly angelic, divinely inspired, downer, Durga, a drug that does what drugs should do, Dunkin donut coffee, dyslexic
Ethiopian, erotic vision inducing, expensive, euphoric, evil,
Full moon, full of it, flavorful flavonoids, flame-throwing, fearful French, French press,
Ganesh, graphic, God in the cup, growling, gnarly, good to the last god damn drop
Hard as ice, happy, hallucinogenic, high as a kite,
Hindu, hippie, hip happy, hot as hell yet strangely sweet as heaven,
Jazzy, jealous, Jesus,
Kick my god damn ass to Tuesday,
Kali, kick down the doors and take no prisoners, Kickass, kiss ass, Kruger,
Indian grown, Indian made, Indonesian, insane, imaginative, instant crap, in step, inventive
Letting go, lovely, looney, lunatic
Makes you go sideways, malodorous, maxim, mellow yellow, mean old rotten,
Narcotic, nasty, nice aroma, not safe for work, not state department approved, not corporate-friendly, Not CIA approved, Not FBI approved, not fake herbal coffee, not decaf, not farmers brothers crap, not your father’s cup of coffee, nuclear,
Rama, rapping, rhyming, rich,
Rock and roll up the Yazoo,
Rolled into one simple cup of hot coffee
Paranoid, Paik’s tabong, Peets coffee, pornographic, pontific, politically aware, psychotic,
Sai Babai, sad, sadistic, sarcastic, sassy, silly, sizzling
Satanic, sexy, SF approved, Shiva, silky, smarmy, smelly,
Snarling, snarky, smooth,
Spendific, speeding, Starbucks, stupid,
Soulful, soulful like Motown in the summer, sweet as honey, sweety
Tabang, Taoist, TOP approved, the coffee that the white boy drank before jumping up to play that funky music, the coffee that Jerry drinks while driving around with random celebrities, the coffee that JFK drank before he was assassinated, the coffee that Trump drinks when dreaming of revenge against his enemies, the cup of sweet coffee that Biden starts his day with, the cup of coffee that Joe Exotic drinks with his tiger pets, the cup of coffee that Stalin, Churchill, and Roosevelt drank at Yalta, the cup of coffee that James Brown drank, the cup of coffee that Jimmy Hendrix played before his last concert, the cup of coffee that Elvis played the night he died, trouble with a capital T, right here, right now in River city, the cup of coffee that Jesus, Mo, Moses and the bar maid drink in the bar, Twosome place coffee, tearful, Turkish
Wild, we do not serve establishment coffee, wicked, WOW, WTF,
Ultimate upper,
Vietnam highland grown
Yada Yada, Yada, Yankee approved, Yemen highlands grown, You Tube Trending,
Zappa approved, Zoroastrian,

As I pound down that first cup of coffee
And fire up my synaptic nerve endings with endless supplies
Of caffeine-induced neuron enhancing chemicals
I face the dawning day with trepidation and mind-numbing fear

I turn on the TV and watch the smarmy newscasters in their perfect hair
Lying through their teeth about the great success the government is having
Following the great leader's latest pronouncements

I want to scream and shoot the TV
And run outside
Shouting "Stop the world. I want to get off this fucking crazy planet"


The earth does not care a whit about my attitude
It merely shrugs and moves around the Sun
In its appointed daily run

And I sit down
The madness dissipating a bit
And enjoy my second cup
Of heaven and hell
In my morning cup of Joe




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