Crusin' with Noah

Noah went to build his arc
before the rains came down.
He’d have to gather all the beasts
or else they all would drown.

Now who believes this silly stuff?
Not anyone I know.
And yet it’s in the bible there;
the good book tells us so.

There are so many crazy tales
that people think are true.
I don’t believe a bit of it.
Don’t tell me that you do.

The bible is a fantasy,
the stories are absurd.
And yet some people follow it;
they cherish every word.

Yeah, Noah made this story up.
He needed an excuse.
His wife was asking where he went
and giving him abuse.

Now Noah couldn’t tell the truth,
he knew that wouldn’t fly.
And so to get her off his back
he told her this big lie.

He said he had a chat with God.
God told him what to do.
He had to save the animals,
collect them two by two.

And he should put them on this arc
so they could multiply.
He had to rescue every one
or they would drown and die.

But did his wife believe this fib?
Not much, no how, no way.
And so she followed Noah out
when he left the next day.

The ‘arc’ that he was building there
was just a pleasure boat.
He’d told his girlfriend they could flee
once he got it afloat.

And there was Noah with his arc
as rain came pouring down.
His wife was left there at the dock.
All she could do was frown.

There was the girlfriend on the boat.
She gave a wave goodbye.
The wife stood there and watched them go
and thought that she would cry.

For forty days and forty nights
they all stayed dry inside.
And when the sun began to show
they finally went outside.

And there it was for all to see
now that it wasn’t dark.
Poor Noah didn’t get too far.
Nor did his little arc.

The boat was hanging upside down,
caught in a giant tree.
The winds had capsized his small craft.
He never did get free.

They buried Noah on a hill,
his girlfriend by his side.
But it would not look very good
to tell of how he died.

Since Noah was a big poobah
they knew it would look bad
if everyone found out the truth,
that he was such a cad.

And so they claimed he saved mankind
and all the creatures too.
It’s right there in that holy book
and so it must be true.