Draft - Untitled 02/23/23

Draft - Sam & Amy

         Sam watched as the full moon rose over the cloud covered mountains, blanketing the scene with hues of pink, purple, and blue. He’d seen those three colors combined before, and thought it amazing how they could be so beautiful here. With the multitude of stars beginning to pierce their way through the increasing darkness of the sky at sunset, Sam felt the most peace he’d felt in a long, long time. Knowing that he was going to die soon made everything that much more real to him; more precious.
         The recent diagnosis hadn’t come as much of a surprise; he’d been feeling sick for months up to this point, weak and very lethargic. He hadn’t been able to catch his breath on his normal morning walks and jogs. The bluish-purple sky looked strikingly like the patterns developing on his skin. Even the clear air of the foothills just outside the city did little to offer him any sense of ease or comfort while struggling to breath. He’d have to provide his own peace of mind, as he always had. This was just another day for him.
         Sitting on the hood of his car, Sam took a pen out of the left pocket of his jacket and picked up the clipboard he’d brought with him. He used that clipboard every single day at work; this normal, everyday object had taken on new meaning for him. It had often been his only companion as he worked, going from place to place as a health inspector. Now it would serve as his last witness as he wrote his goodbye and apology to the love of his life, his fiancee, Amy.
         Beautiful, kind-hearted Amy. Even upon hearing the news of his fatal diagnosis, sitting there with him in the waiting room of the doctor’s office, listening to the doctors speak of his options, Amy never once thought of calling off the engagement. Sam would have understood if she had. She was young, far too young to be widowed so soon. She never let him lose hope, she was determined to see him through no matter the outcome. She was all in. Sam loved her deeply and didn’t know he could love her more and more each day, waking up next to her, seeing her long, beautiful, dark brown hair cascade down the pillow she slept on. If she only knew. She had no idea of what was really going to happen to him soon. The mistakes he’d made.
         Holding back his tears as best he could, as he’d always done, he began to write:

         My dearest Amy,

         No doubt you will find it impossible to understand why I have chosen to end things this way. I need you to know, without the slightest hint of doubt in your mind and heart, that I love and cherish you beyond any possible description of how much. The thought of leaving you tears me apart more than anything ever has, and I have looked for every reason not to do what I am about to do, just so I can stay with you as long as I can. But now I can see that’s not an option. Your love for me has kept me going as long as I can, and I need you to hear me carefully now, as you always have.
         I know we had plans to honeymoon in Hawaii this coming summer. I want you to go on that trip if you still can. You deserve whatever happiness you can get. Even if you can’t make yourself go, I need you to speak with Lester Young. He’s the agent who helped me plan our honeymoon, and he’s a good friend of mine. I always wanted you two to meet, but now I’ll have to trust you’ll do that on your own.
He’ll be able to give you all the information you need to know about when, where, and how. Babe, I can’t stress how important it is that you meet with him. And do not let anyone else see this letter. It is for you alone.

         With every single bit of my love, forever only yours,

         Sam K.

         Lester would be sure that Amy understood everything. Ever since he lost both his parents in middle school, Lester had been his surrogate big brother, his best friend. His uncle hadn’t been a very good stand in for his father. But all of that didn’t matter now. Protecting Amy was his mission. If nothing else, his life would end so hers could continue. That was his purpose now.
         Sam carefully folded the letter into an envelope, sealed it, and placed it on the passenger seat of his car. It was almost completely dark now, except for the moon, which had become even brighter. He looked over the cliff off the shoulder of the highway where he had stopped the car, and tried to work out how long it would take for him to get to the bottom.