Why do I write miserable stories?

It is no secret that I prefer to write things that delve into melancholy and visceral themes, not with the intention of startling or alienating my audience, but rather because there is an undeniable allure in exploring the complexities of negative human emotions. Society has become accustomed to tales that evoke laughter, tears, optimism, and happiness - feelings that offer their own unique sense of satisfaction and completeness. However, our emotional spectrum extends far beyond these positive sensations. By embracing and examining the full range of human experiences, we can achieve a deeper understanding of ourselves and others. With this in mind, I derive immense satisfaction from immersing myself in the intricacies of sadness, despair, fear, and other seemingly darker aspects of life. These emotions, too, contribute significantly to our overall growth, self-awareness, and empathy towards fellow beings.

Furthermore, I believe that there exists a fine line between eloquently describing wholesome, idyllic settings and succumbing to the trappings of saccharine sentimentality or predictability. While capturing the beauty and charm of delightful moments can certainly add depth and richness to any narrative, excessive focus on such scenarios may lead to monotony or even cliché storytelling. Consequently, I am drawn to venturing into the raw, gritty corners of human experience, where the boundaries of propriety and comfort are pushed aside. Therein lie countless opportunities for linguistic exploration, allowing me to broaden my vocabulary and experiment with vivid descriptions that capture the essence of human vulnerabilities and imperfections. The capacity to articulate the subtleties of revulsion, discomfort, and unease adds layers of reality and relatability to one's work. Ultimately, indulging in the unpalatable realities enables me to exercise creativity through imaginative wordplay and inventive imagery, resulting in more engaging and memorable prose.

There is something irresistibly compelling about subjects that tend to unsettle or disturb others, which draws me in time and again. However, my fascination does not stem from a simple appreciation or pleasure; instead, it arises due to the profound impact these darker themes have on my psyche. More often than not, individuals express their inability to cope with such weighty material, citing an unsettling sensation deep within their core – the knotted feeling in the stomach, accompanied by nausea and general malaise.

Interestingly enough, I share a similar reaction to these materials, yet my mind operates differently: I am magnetically attracted to the very sentiments that induce distress. Consequently, I label this phenomenon as intoxicating since it paradoxically resonates with me despite its inherent negativity. When faced with unpleasant situations or thoughts, I cannot help but acknowledge the uncanny familiarity and odd comfort they bring forth. Delving beneath the surface of ostensibly grim or disconcerting themes reveals an unexpected elegance that frequently goes unnoticed.

This dichotomy stems from a complex interplay between personal preferences and cognitive processes, wherein my brain perceives value and meaning in wrestling with challenging subject matter. Thus, immersion in such themes provides fuel for introspection, creative expression, and intellectual curiosity. Through grappling with darkness, light emerges, offering valuable insights into the human condition and fostering resilience against adversity. Ultimately, engaging with these allegedly off-putting concepts allows for a richer, more nuanced perspective on life and art.