Dirty Green Bunny

Featured in "Comedy Newsletter (January 19, 2022)" 

Dirty Green Bunny

“Hey, put that back. It’s for the tooth fairy.” Mary grabbed the tiny ivory tooth from the dirty green bunny.

“I am too the tooth fairy. Give it back.”

Mary turned on her pink unicorn lamp. The dirty green bunny now looked a little sick.

“You aren’t the tooth fairy. The tooth fairy has a crown and a wand and is beautiful. You can’t fool me.”

Dirty green bunny hopped off Mary’s bed.

“I’m her substitute. She’s busy tonight. Lots of teeth to pick up. All that candy at Easter, Halloween and Christmas you know. Give me the tooth, kid.” Dirty green bunny got out the tooth bag, a tiny tattered brown burlap knapsack.

“That’s not all sparkly and nice. See the picture?” Mary pointed to a picture on her nightstand. “The real tooth fairy has a nice sparkly bag to hold my little tooth. You’re a fake. You better leave or I’ll scream. Then Mom will come and catch you and make you into soup and I’ll get your lucky rabbit’s foot.”

Dirty green bunny and Mary stared at each other for moment.

“Okay kid. You get a magic wish and I get the tooth. Deal?”

“What’s the wish?”

“You get a dollar for the tooth and I leave.”

Mary thought. “Make it a five and we have a deal.”

Dirty green bunny waved his paw. “Your wish is granted. But I gotta tell ya, fiver for a tooth is outrageous.”

“How much is your foot worth?” Mary asked.

“Good point.” Dirty green bunny hopped to the door. “Go to sleep. Pleasure doing business with you.”



Later, Mom looked and looked for Mary’s tooth. All she found was a tooth picture signed by DGB. But she left the $5 anyway. After all, it was the first lost baby tooth.


W/C 300